Copy/paste
I used to think I was just a regular guy, but...
I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist.
I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today's standards, makes me a fascist.
I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a homophobic.
I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business.
I am a Christian, which now labels me as an infidel.
I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which now makes me a member of the vast gun lobby.
I am older than 65, which makes me a useless old man.
I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the main stream media tells me,
which must make me a reactionary.
I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe.
I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system,
which makes me a right-wing extremist.
I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual's merits,
which today makes me an anti-socialist.
I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland for and by all citizens,
which now makes me a militant.
Now, a sick old woman is calling me and my friends a basket of deplorables.
Please help me come to terms with the new me . . . Because I'm just not sure who I am anymore!
I would like to thank all my friends for sticking with me through these abrupt,
new found changes in my life and my thinking!
I just can't imagine or understand what's happened to me so quickly!
Funny . . . it's all just taken place over the last 8 years!
As if all this crap wasn't enough to deal with, I'm now afraid to go into either restroom.