When you found out that you had been cheated on what did you do

[lone wolf]

Just out of curiosity, was this a summer thing that went long-distance or an Internet thing?

Avoid places like Plenty of fish if you're hoping for happily-ever-afters. Sometimes you get lucky - but mostly, you get what you pay for.

 

[gerryh]

I'm sure that if he had telepathy and could travel time to realize he was being cheated on for the past 8 months, perhaps he would have considered that :roll:

:roll: Go back and read what I was replying to.

 

[Praxius]

Goober Said: "PS - Best get checked out by a Doc as well."

You Said: "If one is concerned about getting something and needs to be checked out by a Doc after.......... then why would you be so brain dead as to dip your wick in the first place?"

And what I said was in reference towards him not knowing he was being cheated on until the end of the 8 months. We currently know he wasn't having sex with her, so he's fine, but generally speaking, if one was having sex with with someone you were dating while she was cheating on you without your knowledge, Not only do you not know she's screwing around with someone else, but you have no idea what this guy has that she's cheating on you with.... thus you wouldn't know you'd need to be checked by a doctor in the first place.

It boils down to trust, which is supposed to be part of a relationship.

Common sense would tell you this and that's why most people take this sort of thing seriously, even when you're not married. :roll:

If I knew my significant other was cheating on me, obviously I wouldn't go and just have sex with her, not knowing what she may now have..... but if I knew she was cheating on me, there wouldn't be a relationship in the first place now would there?

It's easy to stand there and sound like you know what you're talking about and everybody else but you is an idiot, AFTER THE FACT.

 

[AnnaG]

I think you are a sucker for punishment. There is no need to be vindictive or get revenge as that just adds to making the world a more unpleasant place. Keep her in your contact list and pull her out and dust her off when it suits you. Two can play that game.

2 wrongs don't make a right. They are just two wrongs.

 

[#juan]

When you found out that you had been cheated on what did you do or not do.?

Not sure this is in the right thread but here goes

i just found out this month that Ive been cheated on for past 8 months,we were rarely together and she had that freedom ,she found someone else and lied to me until i kinda knew something was wrong,now she just wants to be friends and this week she dumped him and is off with another guy,and is not talking to me at all it seems i told her i cant do this it kills ,she still says we can be friends
/quote]

It is easy to see who had the upper hand in this relationship, and it was't you Free your mind. You seem to need to be hit by a bus. You and she were rarely together and she had been cheating for eight months. This was a relationship/fantacy only in your mind, certainly not in her's. Why are you even talking about it?

 

[Praxius]

2 wrongs don't make a right. They are just two wrongs.

Agreed... doing the same thing to her doesn't solve anything, only makes the situation escalate, keeps you involved in the drama for longer.... and it's disrespectful to yourself and to the person you slept with whom you just used to get back at someone else over a situation they had nothing to do with..... then what does that say about yourself?

I don't try and toot myself as being better then other people or being the perfect example on how to do things, but I feel proud of myself for standing up for my own principles and walking away from the situation without having to stoop to my ex's standards.

Me walking away from the situation, learning a valuable lesson and taking it like a grown adult is all the revenge I need.

 

[El Barto]

When you get the "You're-a-great-guy-but...." speech or the "...but-we-can-still-be-friends" line, it's time to move on. Don't carry a grudge or kick your own ass because there was a reason your paths crossed in the first place.

you and I think alot alike

 

[Goober]

EEr 47 next month Why should my age make a difference

Ok some questions as you are in need of some help from people and I am sure some will not be liked by yourself.
So if you are in answer - if not - then say bye.
Over to you
Age 47
Education level

Employment record

What do you work at

Do you live alone

Has this happened before - My best guess is yes

How old is she

You - Married before - yes or not-

lived common law - how long - how many times

Long term relationships including sex?

Do you have family in the area

Do you have children ?

 

[JLM]

Ok some questions as you are in need of some help from people and I am sure some will not be liked by yourself.
So if you are in answer - if not - then say bye.
Over to you
Age 47
Education level

Employment record

What do you work at

Do you live alone

Has this happened before - My best guess is yes

How old is she

You - Married before - yes or not-

lived common law - how long - how many times

Long term relationships including sex?

Do you have family in the area

Do you have children ?

Hey Goob- Little nosy here aren't we?

 

[Goober]

Hey Goob- Little nosy here aren't we?

No not at all - 47 years old and led by the nose - after 8 months of a confused and infrequent relationship lots of questions come to mind - If he does want some help it is like I said - He may not like it - but there are people here like yourself that have been around and learned a thing or 2 -

 

[JLM]

No not at all - 47 years old and led by the nose - after 8 months of a confused and infrequent relationship lots of questions come to mind - If he does want some help it is like I said - He may not like it - but there are people here like yourself that have been around and learned a thing or 2 -

Sounds good Goob.....................:smile:

 

[El Barto]

Sounds good Goob.....................:smile:

and that sounds ....um ....................sticky

 

[SirJosephPorter]

When you found out that you had been cheated on what did you do or not do.?

Not sure this is in the right thread but here goes

i just found out this month that Ive been cheated on for past 8 months,we were rarely together and she had that freedom ,she found someone else and lied to me until i kinda knew something was wrong,now she just wants to be friends and this week she dumped him and is off with another guy,and is not talking to me at all it seems i told her i cant do this it kills ,she still says we can be friends


i need time to heal ,i think what do you say,would welcome opinions on Love and the merrygoround that it is

As somebody who has been happily married to the same woman for 34 years now, I may sound like an unmarried marriage counselor, but well, you asked for opinion and here it is.

First off, forget about getting revenge, getting even with her. You may think that will make you happy, but it won’t. If you continue to be mad, angry, miserable, you are giving her way too much power over your life, you are letting her decide how you are going to feel. After seeing how she has treated you, I would think that is the last thing you would want to do.

As to being friends with her, forget that as well. It will be very difficult for you two to be friends. If you had children with her, then you would have to be friends with her, for the sake of children. But I assume there are no children, so there is no incentive to be friends with her.

But that doesn’t mean that you cannot be on friendly terms with her. My advice to you is, wish her all the best and part company with here. Then never see her again, unless you two work together, live in the same building or due to some other reason will come into regular contact. If that is the case, then remain on friendly terms with her, but don’t remain her friend.

And above all, let her go, forgive her. I don’t say this as a Jesus freak, I am an Atheist. She may or may not deserve forgiveness. But forgive her for your sake, not her sake. Once you forgive her and put her out of your mind, you will achieve peace of mind and you can get on with your life. Forgiving her would be your way of obtaining closure to the whole sordid affair. Remember, opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. You should try to develop an attitude of indifference towards her, not one of hate or anger.

And get on with your life. There are plenty of other women in the world, you may not even wish to date for a while. But pick a hobby, do what you like doing and enjoy life. Life is too short to burn up, worry about small stuff like this.

As somebody said, don’t sweat the small stuff, and it is all small stuff.

 

[Machjo]

When you found out that you had been cheated on what did you do or not do.?

Not sure this is in the right thread but here goes

i just found out this month that Ive been cheated on for past 8 months,we were rarely together and she had that freedom ,she found someone else and lied to me until i kinda knew something was wrong,now she just wants to be friends and this week she dumped him and is off with another guy,and is not talking to me at all it seems i told her i cant do this it kills ,she still says we can be friends


i need time to heal ,i think what do you say,would welcome opinions on Love and the merrygoround that it is

Only one comment:

What a bitch she is!

 

[Machjo]

Men and women who cheat on their spouses! I'd be tempted to paste all their names in a public registry. But alas, I'm not that cruel.

 

[JLM]

Men and women who cheat on their spouses! I'd be tempted to paste all their names in a public registry. But alas, I'm not that cruel.

Not to mention you'd probably be interfering with their "rights" under the Charter. :lol::lol::lol:

 

[Machjo]

Not to mention you'd probably be interfering with their "rights" under the Charter. :lol::lol::lol:

What? The Adulterers' Rights Association of Canada? Sure! I'd insist on cameras in the courtroom and have it all televised. The smart ones would stay away, while the real idiots would show up in court for the world to see, defending their right to discrete encounters! Sure I'd lose the case, but imagine the press they'd get with their mug in the papers defending their rights. It would be a greater victory than any they could get.

But like I said, too bad I'm not that cruel.

 

[Machjo]

Actually, it should be the Cheater's Rights Association of Canada (CRAC).

 

[Machjo]

Anyway, screw the bitch and good night.

 

[Praxius]

Ok some questions as you are in need of some help from people and I am sure some will not be liked by yourself.
So if you are in answer - if not - then say bye.
Over to you
Age 47
Education level

Employment record

What do you work at

Do you live alone

Has this happened before - My best guess is yes

How old is she

You - Married before - yes or not-

lived common law - how long - how many times

Long term relationships including sex?

Do you have family in the area

Do you have children ?

Yeah holy crap, do you want a friggin DNA sample to go with those fries?? :-?

Exactly how does knowing any of the above information matter to him being cheated on? Are you trying to find a way to say him being cheated on is his own fault? (Just taking a guess)

Maybe you think there's justification for someone, maybe even yourself, to be cheated on.... but considering all someone has to do is end the relationship, get a divorce, or be sure their partner is ok with seeing other people.... there is no need to cheat on anybody behind their back except for immature, selfish and petty reasons.

imo, people who cheat are weak & pathetic people. They not only just think about their own "pleasure" and enjoyment regardless of what it may do to the few people in the world who actually care/give a damn about them, but they're too damn scared to face a confrontation of possibly ending a relationship and being honest with their partner. So they try and hide it and cover it up as much as possible, pile on the lies, and think that this is somehow more easier.

Then when they're caught, they put on the water works and sob their asses off, asking for forgiveness or saying "It just happened", attempting to try and excuse away what they did as if it was never their fault.... because once again, they're too damn chicken sh*t to face up to the consequences of their actions and admitting that they're wrong... not that it would matter anyways, because they already screwed themselves.