Forgave here and told here to have a good lfe ,left here in Australia and am happy to be free -again
.When you found out that you had been cheated on what did you do
- Thread starter Free your mind
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Crossed the skank and her boy toy off the list of people I care about, and moved on to a better life without her.
This is what i afraid of ,im that daft i would probably not care if she did im a sucker i know.:-(
Dittoing Karrie. And when you do see her, t4reat her with indifference. Show her she's about as important to you as some clerk in a store or something.
"Being friends" to her means don't call her, she'll call you if she feels like it.
This is how it is im afraid i have no contact to her but she has all my contact details over the months we had less and less ,coversations and that is why i bbecame upset with her and eventuallyguessed something was up i confronted her and then she told me about him the first guy that is now she's moved on from him to another after a long chat about her not wanting a relationship until she was certain,how fickle women are some times no disrespect to you ladys here of course
I think you are a sucker for punishment. There is no need to be vindictive or get revenge as that just adds to making the world a more unpleasant place. Keep her in your contact list and pull her out and dust her off when it suits you. Two can play that game.
The hard is a cruel master. Men think a hormonal rush is love. You'll forget all about her when the next one that turns you on come around (although I have an ex that even after 25 years still haunts my wet dreams :-().
She doesn't sound that trust worthy, but on the other hand she is not obligated because you are not married. Is she the one you would trust to marry if you proposed whom would never leave your side? Because if she is in one bit of doubt of leaving you, forget it. I am saying that in preparation for children which is more important to marriage in most cases.
Where did you get the idea that i was vindictive or wanting to get revenge,i don't i just want this sorry mess to end and hopefully i can move on with my life with no regrets
Sorry i cant understand what you have written its not making seance thx for your thoughts tho much appreciated.:confused5:
Look man, all I can say, is it could be worse. You could have been engaged or even married. Haha! Right now I'm stuck between two girls lol! One who's been my friend for years, told me she was into me, I asked her out and then she flipped out...she has (no joke) commitmentphobia. She litteraly just flipped out and ripped my heart out lol! Now we're talking again and my recent ex is still in "love" w/ me and so I'm caught in the middle of the two lol!
When you found out that you had been cheated on what did you do or not do.?
Not sure this is in the right thread but here goes
i just found out this month that Ive been cheated on for past 8 months,we were rarely together and she had that freedom ,she found someone else and lied to me until i kinda knew something was wrong,now she just wants to be friends and this week she dumped him and is off with another guy,and is not talking to me at all it seems i told her i cant do this it kills ,she still says we can be friends
i need time to heal ,i think what do you say,would welcome opinions on Love and the merrygoround that it is
Don't be a chump like I was when I got cheated on. I was in my early 20's and in what I would call my first serious relationship. I was cheated on, she told me about it only days after it happened, and like the sucker I was with low self esteem, figured that she at least told me to my face and was honest about it that there might still be a chance to continue the relationship after about a month break from each other.
Afterwards the relationship just continued down hill because I couldn't look at her the same way and eventually everything hit the crapper to the point we not only broke up, but there was no chance in hell we could be friends.
She also pulled a number of other stunts any other person with a brain would have kicked her to the curb over that I didn't do.....
but to get to the point.... when you're in a relationship with someone, you're in the relationship to see if things between you and that person will work out and move to something better. In order for this to work, you need trust and honesty between the both of you. As it sounds, you held your end up of the deal, she didn't.
She took advantage of you, she went behind your back and stabbed you in the spine and she's the one who lied to you for so long until you confronted her. If someone wants to screw around with someone else and they don't think the relationship they're currently in is worth their effort.... don't dick the other person around and cheat on them.... break it off, tell them the truth and then do it.... there's no good reason to do that to anyone, unless that person wants to stay in a relationship with you because it benefits them in some way.
• Money
• A Roof over their Head
• That backup security of someone being there in case the person they're cheating on you with dumps their skanky ass.
Basically they're all for selfish reasons that are at your expense.
If they can't give you the same respect as you have given them, not only should you break up with them and kick their ass to the curb, but they don't even deserve to be your friend, because that's even worse then what most friends can do to you and destroyed your level of trust with that person in one of the worst possible ways.
The only reason why she says she "Still wants to be friends" is because she just doesn't want to come off as the "Bad Guy" as best as possible and somehow make it seem like it's partly your fault she did what she did. She also think's your a gullible idiot and keeping you as a friend means that she can eventually come back to you sometime down the road and take advantage of you again, either as a friend or in another relationship.
She broke your trust once.... and on multiple occasions until she was caught.... you can be damn sure she'll do it again if she gets the chance.
Don't go and be a sucker like I was when I was younger.... have some respect for yourself, dump her ass, don't be her friend, and don't even communicate with her in anyway after this. She made the decisions and she performed the actions.... she can damn well accept the consequences of her actions and live with them.
And with any luck, she might learn something in the process..... if you let her back into your life in anyway, she'll never learn and if she doesn't screw you over again, it'll just be someone else.
You have no reason to feel guilty in this situation as you're not the one who cheated, she is.... and now she is seeking forgiveness.
Don't give it to her.
I put myself in the situation where I thought perhaps it's partly my fault.... that she was at least trying to make things work by admitting to her mistakes and that perhaps I should give her a second chance.... I only ended up getting screwed over again and again and in many other ways until the situation chewed me up to the point where I felt worthless and that because I let it continue, I deserved what I got.
And in a sense looking back, because I didn't drop her from my life the moment she told me she cheated on me, I did deserve what I got because I allowed it to keep going after the fact.
You don't need that crap in your life and there's a hell of a lot better people out there for you then her who will treat you with respect and treat you like a human being.
It's going to suck.... she'll probably even try and put on the water works (even over just being friends) and that's all a part of the game because she doesn't want to feel guilty for what she did, but it's not your responsibility to carry her damn guilt. Sure you and her may have had a difficult relationship and you guys were away from each other a lot..... maybe it was partly your fault for the relationship being that way.... but none of it justifies her screwing around behind your back when the most logical solution was to end the relationship before it got to that point.
You didn't cheat on her.... so where the hell does she get off being justified in doing that to you?
There simply is no justification.
And you're in your full right to get pissed about the situation and lay the guilt into her until she feels as worthless as a copper penny..... because she is.
And to add to it... I wouldn't even sugar coat what happened when talking to your real friends and family about the situation.... you guys broke up because she cheated on you for 8 months.... AT THE LEAST.... you're not tarnishing her name or character because it's the truth. And if she doesn't like the truth, maybe she shouldn't have done what she did.
Tell honestly and straight forward when asked by your friends/family what happened.... that way, they'll see her for the skank she is and she'll be even less inclined to keep bugging you and trying to be your friend, because your true friends won't want to be involved with her in anyway and your true friends will certainly know how to make her unwelcome.... it may be harsh, but imo, that's what you need to do for yourself. You don't need, let alone deserve that kinda of childish drama in your life.
You may feel crappy about the situation right now and you may not feel like sending flack her way for a while because you're still trying to wrap your head around everything..... but you will. Stand up for yourself... get angry.... and deal with the situation the way you feel is the right way for you.... not for her.
She already waived that right the moment she spread her legs for some other guy.
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No real commitment?
WTF is the point in getting in a relationship in the first place then?
The whole point in being a boyfriend/girlfriend/dating is to see if the person you're with is trust worthy, that you guys can get along and can be loyal to one another. If they screw around with you in this stage of the relationship, exactly what does that tell you about them if things became more serious and you became engaged to them, or even married and eventually had kids?
Dating/Going Out with someone is one of the stages towards commitment with someone.... to eventually the stage of perhaps marrying that person. It's a trial period if anything else.
Exactly at what point does it become a "Real Commitment?"
I suppose that depends on the individual, but to me, the only relationship that doesn't involve commitment is when you're Fk-Buddies or just going out for flings..... and if you want to go screwing around with different partners, one would think that'd be something you mention at the first of the relationship.
I'm sure that if he had telepathy and could travel time to realize he was being cheated on for the past 8 months, perhaps he would have considered that :roll:
Well obviously this other guy was above her religious beliefs.
Bit of a damn hypocrite if you ask me.
Toss her aside and don't look back.
When you get the "You're-a-great-guy-but...." speech or the "...but-we-can-still-be-friends" line, it's time to move on. Don't carry a grudge or kick your own ass because there was a reason your paths crossed in the first place.