10 Stupidest Things I've Done
- Thread starter TenPenny
- Start date
Yeah, I agree.
I sure wouldn't want to tell anyone about the time I was recovering (I thought) from a bout with flu and diarreah. I was 12 at the time and friend of my mother and her very cute 12 yr. old daughter were at our place for a nice Sunday lunch.
The girl's mother was wearing some really strong perfume and right at the beginning of the meal, it wafted over and caused me to sneeze quite violently and unexpectedly. Unfortunately, I apparently hadn't quite fully recovered from the diarreah problem, as the impressive sneeze was followed abruptly by the equally impressive sound of my bowels evacuating everything from my duodenum to my butt with a very commanding "KER-SPLARSH!"
I took 2 o r 3 seconds to panic and then escaped by running (excuse the term) first to the bathroom, then to my bedroom, and I only came out after my mother assured me our guests had left hours before.
No, you're right - that would be embarrassing to me if that story every got out! :lol:
PS - No, I never did ask that girl out in later years. And, she was obviously a mannerly and considerate young lady, as I never heard any gossip or stories about that fateful day.
Actually that incident happened over 25 years ago now, and the night it happened was the last night I ever drank and drove. I thanked my lucky stars that I didn't kill anyone or sustain any injury myself. I had sleepless nights and bad dreams for a long time aftewards. I also never got in a vehicle with a driver who had been drinking again.
The way the accident played out was uncanny. It was if someone else took over the wheel when I nodded off. I was coming around a sharp corner driving pretty slowly. I didn't have to worry much about other traffic as even on a busy night in summer here you might be lucky to meet a handful of vehicles. To my right the road dropped off and there were houses below the road. To my left, in the ditch was part of the old highway. The truck drifted off the road to the left where the ditch was not too steep, met the road and drove along it until the front tires hit a log. The truck stopped. I woke up, got out, looked around and threw up. I got back in the truck and turned it off. Then I climbed up onto the road and began to walk towards home. A friend happened to be driving home from visiting friends and stopped to pick me up, and then drive me home. The next day I came back with another friend, we put a chain on my truck, pulled it out of the ditch, and I drove it home.
I think that part of what kept me on the straight and narrow was the fact that I had to drive by that same spot twice a day, every day in order to get to work. It served as a constant warning to me, still does as I have to pass the spot every time I go to town.
Good grief, countryboy! I have one similar but it happened on a beach at Peurto Escondido, and that is enough said about that. :lol:
Well, at least you were close to the water!
Aw, c'mon...quit teasing...tell us! We won't laugh. Much. Well, it depends on how good "the moment" was.
No way, no how. I've said all I will on that subject. :lol::lol::lol::lol:Well, at least you were close to the water!
Aw, c'mon...quit teasing...tell us! We won't laugh. Much. Well, it depends on how good "the moment" was.
Going back close to 40 years, in a remote community on Northern Vancouver Island, I was driving home sh*tfaced from the pub one night and going to have a little party at my cabin. When I got to the cabln these two girls suggested one of them back my car in. I says "no way I can do it"..........................Bang right into the hydro pole...........one looks at the other and shrugs, "we could have done that". Not sure where that comes under stupid, embarrassing or hilarious.
Boy, the "good" old days, eh? I have no idea how we survived. Nobody thought a thing about drinkin' and drivin' then...it was part of the culture. We used to say, "I gotta' drive home 'cuz I'm too drunk to walk!" Which was usually a fairly accurate evaluation of the situation.
Now I'm not sayin' it was right or wrong...in those days, that's the way it was done. Good embarrassing/hilarious moment! (I left out stupid to avoid any conflict...)
Boy, the "good" old days, eh? I have no idea how we survived. Nobody thought a thing about drinkin' and drivin' then...it was part of the culture. We used to say, "I gotta' drive home 'cuz I'm too drunk to walk!" Which was usually a fairly accurate evaluation of the situation.
Now I'm not sayin' it was right or wrong...in those days, that's the way it was done. Good embarrassing/hilarious moment! (I left out stupid to avoid any conflict...)
Yep, it was stupid all right, but the difference between now and then was we weren't under any illusions that we could fly or out muscle gravity or centrifugal force.
1. Gave a very dear friend the brush off. We'd probably still be a couple.
2. I belted my computer tower which resulted in hard drives going on strike.
3. Accepting an ICBC decision against me.
4. Said some undeservedly nasty things a few times to people.
2. I belted my computer tower which resulted in hard drives going on strike.
3. Accepting an ICBC decision against me.
4. Said some undeservedly nasty things a few times to people.
One stupid mistake I've made two or three times (which makes it really *&$%@#* stupid) is listening to financial advisors (who I though knew more than I did)- lost $thousands. Hopefully it was just stupidity in the short term. I've learned a few tricks from it that is starting to pay dividends now.
Ten Stupidest Things I've Done (that I'm willing to admit)
in no particular order
- poured gasoline on a pile of brush I had already tried to light. Yes there was a spark. minor burns, I was lucky.
- fired a FMJ 9mm into a concrete wall at a range of 12 inches. It disintegrated, instead of bounced. My guardian angel is a tired old soul.
- dropped a 200 lb rock (with the help of friends) off a 75 foot cliff.......with houses at the botton. As God is my witness, we didn't know it would bounce!!!! I was 15.
- cut my self out of a tree. a la Bugs Bunny. Don't ask.
- went into the bush on the 20th of November during the tail end of a hurricane without my usual survival kit (was only going in for an hour!) Got lost.
and seriously:
- was ever rude, mean or nasty to my wife.
- didn't take care of my health, lived on cigarettes, beef, and butter.........got fat.
- Didn't go on to do a Master's/PhD when it was offered free gratis.
- let the only job I ever really liked slip away because of surmountable problems
- been an angry man.
in no particular order
- poured gasoline on a pile of brush I had already tried to light. Yes there was a spark. minor burns, I was lucky.
- fired a FMJ 9mm into a concrete wall at a range of 12 inches. It disintegrated, instead of bounced. My guardian angel is a tired old soul.
- dropped a 200 lb rock (with the help of friends) off a 75 foot cliff.......with houses at the botton. As God is my witness, we didn't know it would bounce!!!! I was 15.
- cut my self out of a tree. a la Bugs Bunny. Don't ask.
- went into the bush on the 20th of November during the tail end of a hurricane without my usual survival kit (was only going in for an hour!) Got lost.
and seriously:
- was ever rude, mean or nasty to my wife.
- didn't take care of my health, lived on cigarettes, beef, and butter.........got fat.
- Didn't go on to do a Master's/PhD when it was offered free gratis.
- let the only job I ever really liked slip away because of surmountable problems
- been an angry man.
ten stupids for me, can't really say they were the most stupid because I'm sure I'v convieniently forgotten hundreds
1 got married at 22
2 stayed married till 44
3 stayed in highschool 2 years longer then I had to
4 quit the Bedford Institute
5 drew only 1 poggy check
6 turned down a free computer course in france in 1981 or 82
5 developed skills in short-binge drinking,
6 continued heavy work against medical advice
7 ignored the advice of my elders and my betters
8 refused to believe in god
9 didn't have more children when I could have
0 adopted lazy slothful ways the weight of which has been a burden all my days awake and in sleep
1 got married at 22
2 stayed married till 44
3 stayed in highschool 2 years longer then I had to
4 quit the Bedford Institute
5 drew only 1 poggy check
6 turned down a free computer course in france in 1981 or 82
5 developed skills in short-binge drinking,
6 continued heavy work against medical advice
7 ignored the advice of my elders and my betters
8 refused to believe in god
9 didn't have more children when I could have
0 adopted lazy slothful ways the weight of which has been a burden all my days awake and in sleep
Ten Stupidest Things I've Done (that I'm willing to admit)
in no particular order
- poured gasoline on a pile of brush I had already tried to light. Yes there was a spark. minor burns, I was lucky.
- fired a FMJ 9mm into a concrete wall at a range of 12 inches. It disintegrated, instead of bounced. My guardian angel is a tired old soul.
- dropped a 200 lb rock (with the help of friends) off a 75 foot cliff.......with houses at the botton. As God is my witness, we didn't know it would bounce!!!! I was 15.
- cut my self out of a tree. a la Bugs Bunny. Don't ask.
- went into the bush on the 20th of November during the tail end of a hurricane without my usual survival kit (was only going in for an hour!) Got lost.
and seriously:
- was ever rude, mean or nasty to my wife.
- didn't take care of my health, lived on cigarettes, beef, and butter.........got fat.
- Didn't go on to do a Master's/PhD when it was offered free gratis.
- let the only job I ever really liked slip away because of surmountable problems
- been an angry man.
I am stupider than you.
That's funny. Back when I was 12, we went on a field trip to Fort Howe. I picked up a good sized rock, and heaved it over the cliff on the back side. Only when I heard the crash did I realize that people who lived across the street had parking spaces donw there...so I went off to another part of the hill...
Yeah....this rock bounced twice!!!... and struck a door of the house just about chest high, smashed the door in and proceeded through the floor into the basement.....to say we fled the scene would be to understate the acceleration of our departure. Not funny for the poor bastard that owned the house........thank God he wasn't in the process of going out!!!!
That would have been in 1970, I believe.....I hope they aren't still looking for us!
