A spanked child may be a better adult

AnnaG

Hall of Fame Member
Jul 5, 2009
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Well, depends upon who you listen to, isn’t it? Those who disagree with experts always make that argument. Thus Fundamentalist Christians belittle the scientists when they claim that scientists are totally wrong and the world was created 5000 years ago in six days. Or eanassir condemned the scientists the other day, claiming that only spiritual beings can see ether, that scientists were somehow deficient for not being able to see or perceive ether.

Your argument isn’t much different. But when it comes to children, I would much rather listen to child experts, child psychologists, rather than rely on somebody’s personal opinion.
:roll:What if experts disagree with each other? After all, there were experts around in Galileo's time.
 

gerryh

Time Out
Nov 21, 2004
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It says "Jakarta" under his avatar, fool. lmao


Anna, he is from India, he has moved to Jakarta and now lives there.....but......... I have not answered him in any helpfull way as , in my opinion, there is not enough information to give a very helpfull answer. Too much guessing involved. Your suggestion of google search is good, but, he really needs to have someone local help him out. Either a Doctor or whatever the equivalent to our family councilors are.
 

AnnaG

Hall of Fame Member
Jul 5, 2009
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Anna, he is from India, he has moved to Jakarta and now lives there.....but......... I have not answered him in any helpfull way as , in my opinion, there is not enough information to give a very helpfull answer. Too much guessing involved. Your suggestion of google search is good, but, he really needs to have someone local help him out. Either a Doctor or whatever the equivalent to our family councilors are.
Good point. There must be a google equivalent in Jakarta, though, if it doesn't have google. :D
 

vinod1975

Council Member
Jan 19, 2007
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Harare , Zimbabwe
Or a phone book with Yellow pages.

Dear All

Jakarta - Indonesia , don't know what you guys think of but let me tel I have many colleges here who are from UK , America , Norway and Canada who are working as expacts and I am from India in telecom Industry as Indonesian Telecom Industry is listed in Top ten in the world compare with other parts of the world for telecom market.It multi billion USD


I move country to to country and work there for 3-5 years and then move on to next like next on my List is CANADA for 7 Years

Google is also available in local language of Indonesia (Bahasa) , see your self and do some google your self about Indonesia ( Jakarta , Bali Surabaya Toba Lake etc) :p
 

damngrumpy

Executive Branch Member
Mar 16, 2005
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Jerryh I am a long way from being saint grumpy, but without solutions or dealing with the original problem a punishment is meaningless. Taking away privileges is
the same as grounding, you end up being punished as well having to police it.
I once had a kid expelled for a week, instead of grounding and all that. I did take
a week off work. The kid got up every morning at six, had breakfast and then we
did spring cleaning in the house, the garage, the yard, and by Wednesday my son
called the school himself. apologized and begged to finish the week in school
the Thursday and Friday. I actually had a good time, the others saw the work that
lay in store I had no problems for quite awhile. We still laugh about it today and
he said it was the best thing that ever happened. He is in company management
now, so it must of done some good, it gave him a work ethic anyway, and there
was no spanking to get the message across. I don't think its all that difficult to come
up with a solution, some are more difficult than others, true, but it beats hitting kids
to get the message across.
 

damngrumpy

Executive Branch Member
Mar 16, 2005
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When you have the respect of a child. you have the authority of the message you are
getting up like it or not. There are ways to deal with it without hitting them.
I can't understand people in a flap over the fact that they can't control their child.
The first mistake is waiting until they are older and then trying to control them,
teaching them to reason comes at an early age. Back when they first encounter other
little kids in the playground. A couple of years ago we had a grandson who could not get along with his mother, aunt, brother. and almost anyone else. We had a few
verbal exchanges, and he came to live on the farm for awhile. He did nothing, until I
asked him what he would like to do that interested him. To my surprise he wanted to
learn how to play guitar. I explained that everyone on the farm does chores. There is
always something to do in the orchard. After a couple of weeks I got him a guitar.
Today, he is in the middle of getting his carpentry papers, he not only plays guitar
he play keyboard, drums, and has his own band. Oh and a full time job in construction. Reason over conflict works for me, its easier than having to fight with
kids.
 

petros

The Central Scrutinizer
Nov 21, 2008
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When you have the respect of a child. you have the authority of the message you are
getting up like it or not. There are ways to deal with it without hitting them.
I can't understand people in a flap over the fact that they can't control their child.
The first mistake is waiting until they are older and then trying to control them,
teaching them to reason comes at an early age. Back when they first encounter other
little kids in the playground. A couple of years ago we had a grandson who could not get along with his mother, aunt, brother. and almost anyone else. We had a few
verbal exchanges, and he came to live on the farm for awhile. He did nothing, until I
asked him what he would like to do that interested him. To my surprise he wanted to
learn how to play guitar. I explained that everyone on the farm does chores. There is
always something to do in the orchard. After a couple of weeks I got him a guitar.
Today, he is in the middle of getting his carpentry papers, he not only plays guitar
he play keyboard, drums, and has his own band. Oh and a full time job in construction. Reason over conflict works for me, its easier than having to fight with
kids.
Looking back I'd have to say the fear of the belt was far worse than the belt. Pain goes away rapidly but those two hours of pure hell waiting for dad to get home really gave you time to think about not ending up in this type of situation again.
 

gerryh

Time Out
Nov 21, 2004
25,756
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you're missing the point as much as pompass is. Nobody, including me is advocating that spanking or corporal punishment be used as a primary source of punishment. Far from it. It is just another "tool" that can be very effective when used properly. Not all kids respond to corporal punishment positivley, anymore than all kids responding positivley toyour example of the school expulsion, because \i will tell you right now, I have 2 boys that would \nOT have responded in a positive manner to your discipline.

Corporal punishment is just a tool. It is not for everyone, and if you can get away without using it, more power to you, but to denigrate or put down those that DO find it effective and use it properly with great constraint...... then, personally, I question your honesty when describing how you raised and disciplined your children.
 
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damngrumpy

Executive Branch Member
Mar 16, 2005
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Parents call it as they see it, I just don't think you have to go the measure of spanking.
I suppose I took the time to do what I thought would be in the best interests of the
future for child development. Things didn't work as planned every time granted but,
that wasn't so bad either, it was a learning experience for me as well. The other thing
I think worked is the fact that we were a rural family as opposed to living in the city
where there are more distractions. I think the biggest problem society created was the disposal of the old wood stove. When I was a kid, wood had to be chopped and
stacked long before it got put in the wood box. As a kid I remember I got one spanking in my entire childhood. Sometimes these little buggers can be very frustrating. Some children especially by the time they are teens, they have a different
set of values than their parents. The old adage, in this family we believe doesn't work
either. I have kids that come home for Christmas, and other holidays, and the grand
kids come to talk about things as well. My father passed away, last spring, he was
96 and great grad kids and family used to seek his advice, now they come and talk
to me. Grand kids are quite helpful actually, the older ones in their twenties now
talk to some of the more cogitative teens. Maybe we just have a very close family
dynamic I don't know, but it works for us. Once again though life was not always
a joy, there were problems, not legal problems but behavioral problems, but we
got through them. I don't think parents who spank children are bad people, I just
don't agree that spanking is a suitable solution.
 
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petros

The Central Scrutinizer
Nov 21, 2008
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No kid or adult for that matter will ever respect a wuss, a teacher, the law, mankind, nature or anyone who doles out physical punishment or loss of freedoms unless they have self respect.

Fear, pain or loss will never lead to respect or self respect.
 

damngrumpy

Executive Branch Member
Mar 16, 2005
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petros that is my point, fear and pains does not equal respect. I believe in giving a
kid to develop self respect. I am not a wuss as you call it, I look to encourage alternatives. Kids need direction not dictation. If you find out what they are interested it you can develop a relationship with them and from there things are much easier for all concerned. In my opinion having the power to parent is really
knowing you don't have to use stern measures, to persuade a kid to take responsibility for their actions. I must have done something right. None of them got
into serious trouble, the grand children at least the older ones all have jobs and they
have or are getting post secondary training. As grampa I have respect but none of them fear me, in fact I can talk quite openly with them. Parenting is the toughest
job in the world because the shift you sign onto is twenty four/seven.
I wouldn't want to be a parent today though, life has become more complicated,
 

JLM

Hall of Fame Member
Nov 27, 2008
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you're missing the point as much as pompass is. Nobody, including me is advocating that spanking or corporal punishment be used as a primary source of punishment. Far from it. It is just another "tool" that can be very effective when used properly. Not all kids respond to corporal punishment positivley, anymore than all kids responding positivley toyour example of the school expulsion, because \i will tell you right now, I have 2 boys that would \nOT have responded in a positive manner to your discipline.

Corporal punishment is just a tool. It is not for everyone, and if you can get away without using it, more power to you, but to denigrate or put down those that DO find it effective and use it properly with great constraint...... then, personally, I question your honesty when describing how you raised and disciplined your children.

Right on Gerry - as the old saying goes "many roads lead to Rome" and a person is really only qualified to judge the one he's travelled on. There's spankings and then there's spankings, I detest seeing it used because the parent is ignorant about child raising or is just plain mean or frustrated, but if a three year old runs out in front of a truck and just misses being killed, then you have to resort to a type of punishment he/she is not too familiar with so that event won't be forgotten. If he just gets the normal five in the corner, the incident will be much easier forgotten than if he had his little ass paddled and it stung for an hour or two. I know we have a "resident expert" here who disagrees..........................:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
 

DaSleeper

Trolling Hypocrites
May 27, 2007
33,676
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Northern Ontario,
Vic20? Well, I can raise you. The very first computer I saw was when I was working in Southampton, England. It was Commodore Pet, the very first model. It had 7 k (7000 bytes) memory. It was keyboard, screen and tape recorder all fused into one unit.

I was very impressed with it, I thought it was just about the greatest thing I had ever seen. I remember writing a program to play tic tac toe on it (or noughts and crosses, as they call it in England).

Of course you did:roll: and you're good at googling too...and I'll bet you have a Rolls in your driveway....with a chauffeur:lol:
 

JLM

Hall of Fame Member
Nov 27, 2008
75,301
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petros that is my point, fear and pains does not equal respect. I believe in giving a
kid to develop self respect. I am not a wuss as you call it, I look to encourage alternatives. Kids need direction not dictation. If you find out what they are interested it you can develop a relationship with them and from there things are much easier for all concerned. In my opinion having the power to parent is really
knowing you don't have to use stern measures, to persuade a kid to take responsibility for their actions. I must have done something right. None of them got
into serious trouble, the grand children at least the older ones all have jobs and they
have or are getting post secondary training. As grampa I have respect but none of them fear me, in fact I can talk quite openly with them. Parenting is the toughest
job in the world because the shift you sign onto is twenty four/seven.
I wouldn't want to be a parent today though, life has become more complicated,

I see a wealth of wisdom in your posts that goes far beyond the subject of spanking. I think it casts serious doubt on the necessity of the modern day practice of two parents being away from the home and "farming" out child raising to a stranger who generally doesn't have a clue about raising kids- just another job for money. It would also be very interesting to see "your take" on the thread comparing 1959 to 2009. There are a few parallels I can see between your life and mine.
 

AnnaG

Hall of Fame Member
Jul 5, 2009
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Dear All

Jakarta - Indonesia , don't know what you guys think of but let me tel I have many colleges here who are from UK , America , Norway and Canada who are working as expacts and I am from India in telecom Industry as Indonesian Telecom Industry is listed in Top ten in the world compare with other parts of the world for telecom market.It multi billion USD


I move country to to country and work there for 3-5 years and then move on to next like next on my List is CANADA for 7 Years

Google is also available in local language of Indonesia (Bahasa) , see your self and do some google your self about Indonesia ( Jakarta , Bali Surabaya Toba Lake etc) :p
:) Welcome to CanCon. Usually what I do if I want information and can't find it locally, I try to google it.
 

AnnaG

Hall of Fame Member
Jul 5, 2009
17,507
117
63
Corporal punishment is just a tool. It is not for everyone, and if you can get away without using it, more power to you, but to denigrate or put down those that DO find it effective and use it properly with great constraint...... then, personally, I question your honesty when describing how you raised and disciplined your children.
Good point, Ger.