Conditions for the divorce

AnnaG

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Nuts. If I divorced my husband it would be for a sensible and very good reason. And I sure would not have him back.
 

selfsame

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{Quran 2: 232. When you [men] have divorced women [the first divorce], and they have reached their appointed interim [: the Idda]a, then retain them in kindness b or release them [to their families] in kindness c.

Retain them not to their hurt so that you transgress [over them.d] He who does that has wronged himself e.

Take not the revelations of God in jest f, but remember God's grace upon you g and that which He has revealed to you of the Scripture and of wisdom h, whereby He does exhort you i. Ward off [the disobedience of] God j, and be sure that God is All-Knowing about everything. k

233. And when you [judges and men in charge of the divorced women] have divorced the women, and they attain their appointed time [of the Idda l], then do not hinder them to marry their [former] husbands, if they amicably agreed among themselves.m
This [statement] is an admonition for anyone among you [judges] who believes in God [so as to hope in His reward] and the Last Day [so that he fears of His punishment n].
That o is more virtuous for you p, and cleaner q.
God certainly knows r, but you do not know s.}
...................................................
a i.e. when the appointed period of time of the Idda is about to end.
b If you want to restore them.
c If you insist on separating from them.
d i.e. don't take them back for the purpose of hurting them, so that you take her money then you divorce her once again, or you want to transgress on her by beating, reviling, humiliating or other kinds of hurt then to divorce her.
e Because he will then deserve the punishment and wrath of God.
f i.e. Don't take these instructions which God has revealed to you in the Quran, in jest and pay no attention to them.
g For you were idolaters [associating others with God], then He guided you to the Islam and bestowed these bounties on you.
h i.e. and remember also the favor of God on you, for He revealed to you one of the heavenly books including such instructions and admonitions.
i i.e. He exhorts you by the Quran.
j And don't contradict His commands.
k So that nothing of your acts may be hidden from Him.
l i.e. when her Idda is completed.
m i.e. if the husband regrets the divorce of his wife, in case he divorced her once or twice, and he wants to remarry her with a little and suitable dowry, then do not prevent her from marrying her husband.
n Therefore, he should not take any bribe, or have any advantage to make her marry another man.
o new marriage of the divorced wives, and returning them back to their husbands.
p those in charge among the family members of the divorced women; i.e. it is more honorable to you to return her to her husband, rather than she may marry another man.
q for the divorced women.
r the consequences.
s the consequence.

The interpretation is by Mohammed-Ali Hassan Al-Hilly.

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{Quran 2: 234. [Divorced] mothers should suckle their children for two whole years, for anyone [of their husbands] who wants to complete the [time of] suckling [his baby;]
[But if he is poor, he may reduce three months from the two years period
a.]
and their feeding and clothing b is incumbent on the father of the child on equitable term.c
No soul should be overtasked beyond its capacity d. [Any] mother should not be made to suffer because of her child e, neither should [any] father [be made to suffer] because of his child f.
And the same of that [feeding and clothing of the mother giving suckle to the baby] is incumbent on the heir [if the father dies.] g
But if [the parents] decide to wean [the child before the completion of the two years] by mutual consent and [after due] consultation [between the father and the mother] then there is no blame on them [concerning that.]
And if you [fathers] decide on wet nurse for your babies h, there is no blame on you [concerning that], provided you pay [to the mother the rest of] what [Nafaqa] you offered in a fair way i.
Ward off [the punishment of] God j, and know that God is All-Seeing of what you do [so He rewards everyone according to his work.] k}
..................................................
a So that he may take his baby three months, at the time of weaning, before completing the two years, and then his baby will be suckled for twenty one months.

b i.e. the feeding and clothing of the mothers.

c According to his capability to expend on the mother of the baby.
It means: The mothers should suckle their babies for two whole years, in case the father wants to complete the suckling. And the father has to give provision to the mother of the baby and pay for her clothing as long as she suckles his baby.

d i.e. but only according to its capability.

e It means: The father should not take his baby in order to hurt his mother; neither should he curtail the Nafaqa in order to harm her.

f i.e. don't harm the father because of his baby: that is when you demand a Nafaqa [: the required feeding and clothing] more than he can afford. On the other hand, if the mother is given her Nafaqa [: the required feeding and clothing], let her not refuse to suckle the baby, in order to harm his father.

g It means: if the father dies, or is disabled or ill or madness afflicts him, then instead of him, the heir will give the Nafaqa [: the required feeding and clothing]. The heir is the nearest to the father in kinship, like his older son, who will expend for feeding and clothing the divorced wife of his father as long as she gives suckle to the baby.

h i.e. to find some suckling women other than their mothers: like when the mother is depleted of her milk, or she becomes ill, or she refuses to suckle him for some reason, or the father is poor and cannot pay for the Nafaqa, and he has someone to give suckle to the baby freely.

i i.e. without any stalling, disputing or delaying of her Nafaqa [: the required feeding and clothing.] And then you can seek after a wet nurse.

j So that you should avoid the stalling and the delaying of her due Nafaqa.

k But if the mother of the baby marries, then no Nafaqa is due for her afterwards, and the Nafaqa will exclusively be for the baby only; and in such instance the father has the right to take his baby from his mother.
Moreover, the "baby" here means the male and the female, and no distinction between the male and the female concerning the Nafaqa and the period of suckling and the other points mentioned in this aya.

The interpretation is by Mohammed-Ali Hassan Al-Hilly.
 

Curious Cdn

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They don't use lawyers. Three old men decide the fate of the woman, in Sharia. They decide whether she will be beheaded, stoned to death of or receive 100 lashes.

That is the outcome of divorce proceedings among these savages.
 

Ludlow

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[In the Jahiliah (or the "Ignorance" pre-Islam period), they used to divorce their wives then to restore them many times, in order to offend and humiliate the woman; so God – be glorified – forbade them from such customs, and said:]

Quran 2: 230. The divorce [that may be followed by restoring the woman back] is [permissible] twice [only] a, and then [the woman must] either be retained with honor or amicably released b.
And you [husbands] are not allowed to take any part of [the dowry c] which you gave to them d,
unless both of the [husband and wife] fear that they cannot keep within 'the statements prescribed by God' e,
so if you [judges] fear that they may not be able to keep within 'the statements prescribed by God' f then no blame on either of them concerning the [dowry] with which the [wife] ransoms herself. g
These h are 'the statements prescribed by God', so trespass them not i; and whoso trespasses 'the statements prescribed by God' – these indeed are the wrong-doers j.

231. But if [her husband] divorces her [a third time], then she shall never be lawful to him afterwards k: in order to marry another husband. l

But if the [second husband] divorces her [for the first time], there is no blame on both of them to come together again m, if they insist to observe 'the statements prescribed by God'.
These [statements] are 'the statements prescribed by God' which He [shall] explain [in the future] to a people who know [and discern.]

......................................................
a And that is before the consummation of the Idda (or the prescribed period of time), so he says: "I have restored my wife", and he brings the witnesses to bringing her back again;
but if the Idda (or the prescribed time) elapses, then he should consummate the marriage with a new marriage certificate, with only a little dowry according to a mutual agreement of the couple, and he should write a new marriage bill, to which some witnesses sign; that is lest some of the heirs should not deny when one of the couples dies, and say: "The wife of my father is divorced and she hasn't any right in the inheritance", or any other kind of denial.

b It means: Either will the husband keep her with him to treat her gently and kindly without wrangling, quarreling and abasement; or will he divorce her and send her to her family amicably: by giving her her due Nafaka (or the due money of the divorce) for three months, and then the matter will be concluded.

c Whether it is the "dowry in advance" or the "postponed dowry".

d In case you divorce them.

e 'The statement prescribed by God' for the husband is to divorce his wife, if he despairs of himself and becomes certain that he is unable to do the sexual intercourse: and so he should give her her dowry, and should not take any part of it; and he should give her the Nafaqa of the Idda: (i.e. the due money of the stated time after the divorce.)

On the other hand, the wife should be chaste, should not commit adultery, but she should forbear patiently, until her husband restores his capability for the sexual intercourse, or he may divorce her with his own accord.
So these are the "statements prescribed by God" that both the husband and wife should observe.

While their fearing about such statements:
[The wife]:
First: The wife fears that the lust of the animal nature may overcome her, so she may commit adultery if a long time passes and the sexual power of her husband is not restored.
Second: The wife fears that he will not divorce her unless she ransoms herself with her dowry.

[The husband]:
On the other hand, the husband fears that he may divorce his wife, then he may restore his sexual power later on, when he will have no money to marry another woman.
Second: He fears that she may demand of him her "postponed dowry", if he divorces her: while he is poor and cannot afford it.

f That is because the wife cannot stay without sexual intercourse, and you [judges] fear lest she should commit adultery if her husband does not divorce her, because she is young and not an old woman; and because you know that the husband is poor and will not divorce his wife unless she drops her due dowry.

g i.e. no blame on either of them concerning the dowry which the wife ransoms herself with; and no blame on the husband to take the dowry which she offers to him in order to have the divorce.
Therefore, the wife waits for one year, then if no positive result appears with her husband, then she has the right to demand the divorce.

This aya includes also the elderly man in case his wife is young and she does not love him, and she is afraid that Satan or the Devil may suggest to her and she may commit adultery while her husband does not know; therefore, she says to her husband: "Divorce me and I offer my dowry to you."

So when there is a mutual agreement between the couple concerning the divorce, then there is no blame on either of them concerning the dowry that she ransoms herself with.

The aya includes also the man having some defect of a chronic disease or blindness or he is disfigured, while his wife is a beautiful young woman and she does not love him.

h Statements which We have explained to you.

i By working contrary to them.

j i.e. they wrong themselves and their wives.

k But she shall be unlawful to him forever.

l i.e. so that she will marry another husband, and the problem will be over: so there will be no quarrelling, no wrangling after the separation.

Then God – be glorified – explained that the divorce statement of the wife with her second husband is like her divorce statement with the first:

m if there is a mutual agreement between the couple, but on condition that they should observe 'the statements prescribed by God' without quarrelling or disputing as was she with her first husband …

And if God – be glorified – had meant by His saying which means: (there is no blame on both of them to come together again): that she will come to her first husband, as did the commentators say, then there should have been another new marriage court decision, a new dowry and a new marriage ceremony.

Therefore, God – be glorified – meant by the permission of the coming back together, is the coming back together with her second husband, in case it is the first or second time of divorce, but if it is the third time of divorce, then she will be unlawful to him forever, and there cannot be any returning of her, nor a new coming back together, and not any new marriage contraction or certificate.

It is mentioned in the Torah, a similar revelation in the Book of Deuteronomy, chapter 24:
"1 When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house,
2 and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man’s wife,
3 and if the latter husband turns against her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife,
4 then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord"

And you may say: What have we to do with the Torah, while we are Muslims and we have the Quran?

I say answering you: Aren't the heavenly laws the same: Doesn't God – be glorified – say in the Quran 4: 26, which means:
(God likes to explain to you, and to acquaint you about the rites of those before you, and to turn towards you; God is All-Knowing, Most Wise.)

The interpretation is by Mohammed-Ali Hassan Al-Hilly.
maybe you need to summarize a bit. very few are going to read a damn book in a forum.
 

Motar

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Jun 18, 2013
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Marriage is from your god? Baloney. What an entirely foolish thing to say.

"When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?' 'Haven’t you read,' he replied, 'that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." (Matthew 19:1-6 NIV)

In the example above, Jesus candidly states that marriage is from God. Do you adjudge Jesus to be foolish, AG?
 

gerryh

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"Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?' 'What did Moses command you?' he replied. They said, 'Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.'

'It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,' Jesus replied. 'But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. 'So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.'

When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, 'Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." (Mark 10:2-12 NIV)

To the hardened Jewish religious leaders, Jesus gives laws, SS. To humble disciples, Jesus gives truth.

Marriage is from God (good). Divorce is spiritual violence (bad). divorce + remarriage = adultery (bad to worse).

"When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?' 'Haven’t you read,' he replied, 'that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." (Matthew 19:1-6 NIV)

In the example above, Jesus candidly states that marriage is from God. Do you adjudge Jesus to be foolish, AG?


So, what you, and Jesus confirmed, not ALL laws written down in the OT are God's laws. Some are man's laws. Correct?
 

darkbeaver

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They don't use lawyers. Three old men decide the fate of the woman, in Sharia. They decide whether she will be beheaded, stoned to death of or receive 100 lashes.

That is the outcome of divorce proceedings among these savages.

The old guys under law are divorce courts then. The available decisions quite sever.
 

Motar

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Jun 18, 2013
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So, what you, and Jesus confirmed, not ALL laws written down in the OT are God's laws. Some are man's laws. Correct?

All OT laws are God's laws, Gerry. Some are for ancient Israel. All of them point us to Christ.
 

Serryah

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The interpretation is by Mohammed-Ali Hassan Al-Hilly.

The most *interesting* part of everything you post, Selfsame.

The INTERPRETATION is by Mohammed-Ali Hassan Al-Hilly - a man.

So automatically two things, one this is one person's interpretation of the Qur'an and second it's done so by a male who will automatically be biased.

Yeah, not believing your holy book any more than I believe stuff in the bible. For a lot of the same reasons, too.
 

Motar

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Jun 18, 2013
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...that would make 2 choices for the individual leaving an abusive marriage. To either stay with the abuser or never find another person to commit and share their life with because to do so they'd be committing adultery. Which is a sin against god/jesus isn't it?

What is your understanding of sin, Twila?
 

gerryh

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All OT laws are God's laws, Gerry. Some are for ancient Israel. All of them point us to Christ.

But you just quoted from the NT where it states that the law concerning divorce as pronounced by Moses was NOT God's law. God's law does not allow for divorce. Or has Mathew misquoted what Jesus said? It can't be both ways.
 

Cliffy

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"When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?' 'Haven’t you read,' he replied, 'that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." (Matthew 19:1-6 NIV)

In the example above, Jesus candidly states that marriage is from God. Do you adjudge Jesus to be foolish, AG?
A person would have to believe the bible is what you say it is and that Jesus existed to answer that question. It is a loaded question in your favour. If the bible was written by men to control people and therefor is not the word of god, then it is a silly question.

What is your understanding of sin, Twila?
The only sin is the sin of self hatred. Guilt is a sin of self hatred. You keep asking people who do not believe in the bible what they think of your interpretation of it.
 

Motar

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But you just quoted from the NT where it states that the law concerning divorce as pronounced by Moses was NOT God's law.

Please post the NT verse(s) you reference, gerry where God states that His law is not His law.

"If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand." (Mark 2:24 NIV)
 

gerryh

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Nov 21, 2004
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Please post the NT verse(s) you reference, gerry where God states that His law is not His law.

"If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand." (Mark 2:24 NIV)


Actually, all I need to do is quote YOUR post, where YOU made the statement. I'll even highlight it for you.

"Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?' 'What did Moses command you?' he replied. They said, 'Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.'

'It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,' Jesus replied. 'But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. 'So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.'

When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, 'Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." (Mark 10:2-12 NIV)

To the hardened Jewish religious leaders, Jesus gives laws, SS. To humble disciples, Jesus gives truth.

Marriage is from God (good). Divorce is spiritual violence (bad). divorce + remarriage = adultery (bad to worse).


See where it says that Moses wrote the law, which is in contradiction to God's law. So, again, does this mean there are "laws" in the OT that are NOT God's law?
 

Motar

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A person would have to believe the bible is what you say it is...

I know many people besides myself who hold a biblical worldview, Cliffy. This is not an anomaly, but the norm in some of my social settings.

The only sin is the sin of self hatred. Guilt is a sin of self hatred.

What is your understanding of sin, Cliffy?

See where it says that Moses wrote the law, which is in contradiction to God's law. So, again, does this mean there are "laws" in the OT that are NOT God's law?

Context. To whom is Jesus speaking in these verses, Gerry?
 

gerryh

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Context. To whom is Jesus speaking in these verses, Gerry?


The OT allows divorce, Jesus stated in the NT that divorce is not allowed. God's law does not allow divorce.


You have said that the laws of the OT are all God's laws. There is a contradiction here. They can't both be God's law.
 

Motar

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Jun 18, 2013
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The OT allows divorce, Jesus stated in the NT that divorce is not allowed. God's law does not allow divorce. You have said that the laws of the OT are all God's laws. There is a contradiction here. They can't both be God's law.

No contradiction, gerry.

"It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,' Jesus replied." (Mark 10:5)

Moses is a scribe just like every other OT and NT writer. The Author is God. The scribes are recorders.

Jesus disapproved of divorce for any reason with the exception of adultery. As he told the Jewish people.

Post the verse(s) for us, LL.