IAM Iphone you must obey and answer ....................................IAM TV let me sit with you all night and stultify your troubled head......................... IAM Beer let's go swimming
Why did we stop inventing gods?
- Thread starter French Patriot
- Start date
Relax, you'll have an aneurysm. An image is, by definition an external picture of something. The "...lying, cheating sociopath hell bent on murdering everyone who disagrees with him and destroying the Earth." part would not result from using Him snapping a Polaroid.and creating man.
That would be something else.
We only really know the story of Noah, the death by drowning scenario. As for the rest, well, He could have contracted out. Amphibians? and dinosaurs may also have been wiped out by visiting space aliens, disease, or some other, external source.
Too much tension is bad for you. selfsame used to be a Jehovah's Witness until the stress bug bit.
I think we stopped inventing gods because we weren't using the ones we had.
God?!? Okay, yeah. We already got some.
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The iceberg that sank the titanic may have been on the payrole...
Certainly there is a controversy that everyone was sent to their watery grave by the owner, who just happened to drown all the rich americans who could have stopped the central bank takeover of the US in 1913...while sinking the damaged sister ship in an insurance scam
what a keel haul that was
like the insurance on the twin towers
that was quite a haul too
which DB, brings us back to your comment about beer
I suddenly feel like being a beer o haulic for a few minutes...
a KillKenny..tallboy or three I think...
O and don't forget hillary
what an a haul she is too...and she's a coldhearted keeler to boot
like the insurance on the twin towers
that was quite a haul too
which DB, brings us back to your comment about beer
I suddenly feel like being a beer o haulic for a few minutes...
a KillKenny..tallboy or three I think...
O and don't forget hillary
what an a haul she is too...and she's a coldhearted keeler to boot
When I'm alone and troubled Beer often talks to me as well. He sounds distant and cold at first untill I go to the great white mount in the kitchen and knock on the door to join him in worship.
The dog loves the magic snack box in the kitchen as well, we are both having treats tonight
He gets a piece of raw liver and juice in his kibble, an I'm just getting gibbled
He thinks there is a god who loves him and cares about his well fare, but oddly can't speak dog....but he loves his god just the same, faults and all...
I have thumbs and can open doors and un clip leashes...
He doesn't realize I paid to have his nuts snipped...
circumcised...at the other end...
Your ONLY source for any of this is a text written in a pre-scientific and largely pre-literate age by dozens of people over hundreds of years, none of it more recent than a little under 2000 years old, that contains many inconsistencies, errors of fact, and impossible claims. So, as you well know, I don't take it seriously as a source of historical information, or a guide to the future. Nor do I take seriously any analysis of yours based on it because, as I've said before, the book is not what you think it is. You've decided, solely on the basis of the book's claims about itself (the fallacy of self reference) that it's a literally true and correct guide to the past and the future, except where it's not--like your fanciful reworking of the time periods involved in the creation--because you can't fit all of it into a strictly literal interpretation.
Start from a false premise, you are unlikely to arrive at correct conclusions. And you haven't.
Jews can't even correctly identify the 'land of the enemy' from Jeremiah:31 so how do you suppose they did with the rest of the OT when you need Revelations to fill in the blanks God left in the OT prophecies??
Evil came about when Satan became a murder and a liar, that was with Eve in the garden.
Angels have always been under the Re:21 Law and evil was created when Law was created, so was good.
God made the law, He was nor responsible for tempting anybody to break them. Even fallen angels could have stayed out of the Pit had they not tried to kill off all the 5-fingered children of Adam and Eve.
Is God evil in that you lack pretty much any understanding of the book or His methods and agenda. In your fantasy world nobody should have ever burned themselves on something hot or fallen off a bicycle. Nice theory but impractical in an imperfect world.
Before amplifiers, multiplexers, or electrified musication of any kind (with the exception of lightning strikes and thunder boomage) we only had rains of toads, death mists, the Nile turning red and pestilence. There was the odd black cloud formation and loud, echoey voices from the sky too, I guess. Okay, so those were cool and everything, but Jiminy Jillickers, what could be cooler than to dress in Egyptian clothes and hang out wif your friends?
There were gods for every occasion! Sun gods, morning gods, wine gods, love gods, war gods, and, well, you get the picture. It was hard to remember which god was which! But god help you, no pun intended, if you forgot the name or purpose of any deity that showed up for a festival or special event.
There were odd looking man-bird gods. Manimal gods - bull men, goat guys, foxy looking gods, cat things, doggy delights, snakes and a bunch of others.
Horus
In a lot of ways, it was easier to pick and stick with a god that suited your fancy. But, before we knew it, Moses and the Ten Commandments crashed the party and the rule about no false idols started. Talk about a downer! And Holy Macaroni, break that tenet and POOF! Instant death, DO NOT PASS GO! All I can say is, thank goodness for Osiris. The god of growing things. He started everybody carrying a stash bag full of ganja. It made dealing with 'the man' so much easier. More about him later.
Well sir, along came the Old Testament. That meant no more golden anythings, shiny, strong stags or chicken critter gods. Out with the bronze busts and flying gods. Mind you, we did get angels. But, they just weren't the same as a falcon god like Horus!
The Roman gods were okay, but I think the Egyptian ones were better.
Anubis
Anubis was a god of the dead and embalming! What other religion had an embalming god? No suing the funeral home with this deity watching your six! On top of that, he had a dog's head! His bud was Osiris. This fellow was god of growing things, but also god of the dead. He wore many hats, and looked after rebirth or regeneration too. He had green skin like the Hulk, only not nearly as musclebound.
Osiris
Someone did a count and came up with 114 Egyptian gods. That's enough for two decks of cards and some spares! If you couldn't decide which god you preferred, something was definitely wrong with you.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8zDQAOLVtM
www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2aj0zhXlLA
One last thing: You remember that great line, "Give me liberty or give me death!" It was allegedly spoken by Patrick Henry before the Revolutionary War. That's the war back in 1776 when the Brits got kicked out of what would become the United States. The Brits were jerks back then too! Anyhow, poppycock! He stole that line!
He lifted it from Moses . Moses said that during a heated conversation with Ramses (the Egyptian Pharaoh) about working conditions and no Sabbaths off.
The other thing that was not recorded was Moses request for safety sandals. Back in those days, a lot of Jews had heavy rocks fall on their feet.
But Pharaoh's heart was hardened by Moses request to have the Jews let go. It was a union job and you couldn't just lay off everyone. So he denied them their sandals and that's how we ended up with Teamsters. It was Pharaoh's fault.
There were gods for every occasion! Sun gods, morning gods, wine gods, love gods, war gods, and, well, you get the picture. It was hard to remember which god was which! But god help you, no pun intended, if you forgot the name or purpose of any deity that showed up for a festival or special event.
There were odd looking man-bird gods. Manimal gods - bull men, goat guys, foxy looking gods, cat things, doggy delights, snakes and a bunch of others.
Horus
In a lot of ways, it was easier to pick and stick with a god that suited your fancy. But, before we knew it, Moses and the Ten Commandments crashed the party and the rule about no false idols started. Talk about a downer! And Holy Macaroni, break that tenet and POOF! Instant death, DO NOT PASS GO! All I can say is, thank goodness for Osiris. The god of growing things. He started everybody carrying a stash bag full of ganja. It made dealing with 'the man' so much easier. More about him later.
Well sir, along came the Old Testament. That meant no more golden anythings, shiny, strong stags or chicken critter gods. Out with the bronze busts and flying gods. Mind you, we did get angels. But, they just weren't the same as a falcon god like Horus!
The Roman gods were okay, but I think the Egyptian ones were better.
Anubis
Anubis was a god of the dead and embalming! What other religion had an embalming god? No suing the funeral home with this deity watching your six! On top of that, he had a dog's head! His bud was Osiris. This fellow was god of growing things, but also god of the dead. He wore many hats, and looked after rebirth or regeneration too. He had green skin like the Hulk, only not nearly as musclebound.
Osiris
Someone did a count and came up with 114 Egyptian gods. That's enough for two decks of cards and some spares! If you couldn't decide which god you preferred, something was definitely wrong with you.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8zDQAOLVtM
www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2aj0zhXlLA
One last thing: You remember that great line, "Give me liberty or give me death!" It was allegedly spoken by Patrick Henry before the Revolutionary War. That's the war back in 1776 when the Brits got kicked out of what would become the United States. The Brits were jerks back then too! Anyhow, poppycock! He stole that line!
He lifted it from Moses . Moses said that during a heated conversation with Ramses (the Egyptian Pharaoh) about working conditions and no Sabbaths off.
The other thing that was not recorded was Moses request for safety sandals. Back in those days, a lot of Jews had heavy rocks fall on their feet.
But Pharaoh's heart was hardened by Moses request to have the Jews let go. It was a union job and you couldn't just lay off everyone. So he denied them their sandals and that's how we ended up with Teamsters. It was Pharaoh's fault.
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And why did man fall? Because god created him weak and gullible enough to fall, with (you must believe this to be consistent) full knowledge that he *would* fall. If you create something knowing it to be flawed, and it fails, the fault is yours.
It's homophobic because it's correct to be so. Homosexuality is wrong.
God didn't create mankind with flaws. Humans themselves have created their own flaws.
Wrong for you perhaps! Homosexuality has its purpose, when species get over populated they turn homo to stem over population. So, Blackloaf, you don't always know everything about everything!
A nice Jewish gentleman dies and is standing at the pearlies.
St peter says, "Hey! Welcome Dude!", gives him the new fish tour, and assigns him an apartment.
A nice apartment on the corner, on the 156478763rd floor, with windows and a balcony.
But the Nice Jewish gent looks up and sees that there is a penthouse, just one...way up at the top
St Pete says, "Yup, only penthouse in heaven!"
"It was built special too, just for that guy."
So the nice Jewish gentleman to St Peter says, "Who is in there, they should be so special?"
St Pete says: "we got a LAWYER in there!!!"
The nice Jewish gentleman Excklaims "A LAWYER? a LAWYER?...a lawyer?
Why? A Jew is closer to gODD then a Lawyer!
A Nice Jewish gentleman should have the only Penthouse in heaven already.
I should have that!"
St Peter says "Nope!!! Sorry, dude! No can do!"
"What? Excuse me...
We are God's chosen people! I deserve that penthouse, Why Can't I have that?"
Questioned the nice Jewish gentleman to St Peter
St Peter says:
Geez pal, Look around...
WE got Lots of nice Jewish gentlemen
But...
WE Only Got ONE Lawyer!!!
Hey Cliffy
It doesn't matter about the Lawyer in this Law suit
'guess who the prosecutor, and the judge, and the jury, is?
St peter says, "Hey! Welcome Dude!", gives him the new fish tour, and assigns him an apartment.
A nice apartment on the corner, on the 156478763rd floor, with windows and a balcony.
But the Nice Jewish gent looks up and sees that there is a penthouse, just one...way up at the top
St Pete says, "Yup, only penthouse in heaven!"
"It was built special too, just for that guy."
So the nice Jewish gentleman to St Peter says, "Who is in there, they should be so special?"
St Pete says: "we got a LAWYER in there!!!"
The nice Jewish gentleman Excklaims "A LAWYER? a LAWYER?...a lawyer?
Why? A Jew is closer to gODD then a Lawyer!
A Nice Jewish gentleman should have the only Penthouse in heaven already.
I should have that!"
St Peter says "Nope!!! Sorry, dude! No can do!"
"What? Excuse me...
We are God's chosen people! I deserve that penthouse, Why Can't I have that?"
Questioned the nice Jewish gentleman to St Peter
St Peter says:
Geez pal, Look around...
WE got Lots of nice Jewish gentlemen
But...
WE Only Got ONE Lawyer!!!
Hey Cliffy
It doesn't matter about the Lawyer in this Law suit
'guess who the prosecutor, and the judge, and the jury, is?
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Wrong for you perhaps! Homosexuality has its purpose, when species get over populated they turn homo to stem over population. So, Blackloaf, you don't always know everything about everything!
What a load of piffle. And I can't think of a species that is overpopulated. Earth certainly doesn't have an overpopulation of humans. All 7 billion-odd humans can fit inside Texas.
Seagulls do it
Over population occurs in regions, and does not have to include the whole Planet at any given time.
Think Ireland in the potato famine...
though that was created by foreign Landowners from this nearby little Island that was so overpopulated they had to sink the next guy to feed themselves
Homophobes are closet queens. Blackhead doth protest too much. He is terrified of his own gayness.
Where is that picture you posted of you hanging out with your poofter friends at the pub, Blackhead?
Where is that picture you posted of you hanging out with your poofter friends at the pub, Blackhead?
No, it was created by the rich Brits stealing all the potatoes for themselves.