The Problems With Polygamy

gopher

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''We do not know if monogamy or polygamy was the norm for early man. It is entirely possible that a society practicing monogamy might have some advantage over one that practices polygamy ... Actually polygamy is practiced most widely in traditional Muslim cultures.''

Polygyny (the practice of having multiple wives) has existed since humanity began. Most cultures practiced it before Christianity corrupted their ways. This despite the fact that the Bible sanctions polygyny and warns Christians not to take up pagan practices. There is no evidence that can prove that monogamy strengthens the human race in any way or offers any advantage over polygyny.

Islamic polygyny has nothing to do with martyrdom as Japanese and Vietnamese soldiers practiced it in war despite their paganism.
 

Kathie Bondar

Kathie Bondar
May 11, 2010
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So far as I can see polygamy is only a good thing if you just happen to be one of the chosen males. What I don't understand is why the women don't demand equal rights and have several husbands to do for them.

It must be difficult to demand equal rights when you are locked up in a harem; without freedom of association, treated like property qual in status with his animals

Any social structure that does not revere and honour women is doomed to failure. Women are the life givers and nurturers. Without them, men become not much more than animals. Lord of the Flies comes to mind. When men outnumber women in large numbers, war is inevitable.

Do you know of any social structure that revere and honor women? I would love to live in it. I have move around some in this world, I found sex discrimination to a greater or lesser degree everywhere.
It seems to me men like their wars, polygamy or otherwise, because they keep doing it. Unless you die, it makes you feel alive and in control, kind of macho. They also like to make weapens, very very profitable.
 

AnnaG

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Jul 5, 2009
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Do you know of any social structure that revere and honor women? I would love to live in it. I have move around some in this world, I found sex discrimination to a greater or lesser degree everywhere.
There are matriarchal societies in Peru Sumatra, Mosuo, Melanisia, and I think there's a small society in India.
 

earth_as_one

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But not the kids involved????????
A child has a right to grow up in a caring nurturing environment. Polygamy does not preclude that possibility. Monogamy does not guarentee that children will not be abused by their parents.

Back on the original topic, it seems to me the unequal ratios of men to women can be resolved through polygamy. I agree with the Inuit that polygamy is an effective way to deal with unequal sex ratios. When the community had more women and than men, men were allowed to take more than one wife. When there were more men than women, women were allowed to take more than one husband.

I also agree with Trudeau. The state has no business in the bedrooms of consenting adults. Everyone should enjoy the freedom to pursue happiness in their own way without outside interference.
 

JLM

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Nov 27, 2008
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[QUOTE
I also agree with Trudeau. The state has no business in the bedrooms of consenting adults. Everyone should enjoy the freedom to pursue happiness in their own way without outside interference.[/QUOTE]

I think Trudeau was quite right in what he said, but I'm not as positive about his motives........................:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
 

Praxius

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Dec 18, 2007
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......Do you know of any social structure that revere and honor women? I would love to live in it. I have move around some in this world, I found sex discrimination to a greater or lesser degree everywhere.

It seems to me men like their wars, polygamy or otherwise, because they keep doing it. Unless you die, it makes you feel alive and in control, kind of macho. They also like to make weapens, very very profitable.

Thanks for that broad generalization and including me and every other man in it.... I don't keep doing it... I don't go screwing around with multiple woman of my choosing or even not of my choosing, I am only married to one woman, I don't remember being involved in any wars.... and last I checked, women join up in the military and fight in wars too, some women cheat and can't stick to one partner, etc. etc......

..... Speaking of Sex Discrimination, perhaps you should lead by example and stop discriminating against someone's sex as well.
________________
Revere:
Synonyms: revere1, worship, venerate, adore, idolize
These verbs mean to regard with the deepest respect, deference, and esteem. Revere. suggests awe coupled with profound honor
________________

So you don't seem to want equality and respect, you just want men to idolize, worship and adore you and your gender above all else as if your sh*t don't stink?

Have fun with that.
 

taxslave

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Nov 25, 2008
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It must be difficult to demand equal rights when you are locked up in a harem; without freedom of association, treated like property qual in status with his animals



Do you know of any social structure that revere and honor women? I would love to live in it. I have move around some in this world, I found sex discrimination to a greater or lesser degree everywhere.
It seems to me men like their wars, polygamy or otherwise, because they keep doing it. Unless you die, it makes you feel alive and in control, kind of macho. They also like to make weapens, very very profitable.
Cherokee. At least they were before white man came. They were a maternal society.

lol It works for us. :) The only glitch in our system is that my gf's bf does not know that her and I and sometimes my hubby get together for a romp sometimes. He thinks she's straight. :D

SO why does he have to miss out on all the fun? Doesn't sound like he is too bright not to have figured out that he is only a half timer.
 

AnnaG

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Jul 5, 2009
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Cherokee. At least they were before white man came. They were a maternal society.
There were more.

SO why does he have to miss out on all the fun? Doesn't sound like he is too bright not to have figured out that he is only a half timer.
He's ok I guess. It's up to her to tell him, though, not me.
 

ansutherland

Electoral Member
Jun 24, 2010
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considering that the majority of people today except for those in the Salt Lake area believe that having more than 1 Wife or Husband is immoral and wrong both legally and consiously.. I don't think there is too much to worry about really.

they're the ones that are out to lunch.

Majority of people, yes, but majority of cultures, no.....at least I'm pretty sure. As for this notion that polygamy is a bane for women, I would disagree. I will quote a line from Psychology Today. "It is better to share a rich or resourceful man with many women than to have a poor man all to yourself." Keeping the aforementioned in mind, it would make a great deal of sense why, in times long past, women would actually want, in some cases, to be in a polygamous relationship......go ahead feminists, that was your cue to flame me.
 

AnnaG

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Majority of people, yes, but majority of cultures, no.....at least I'm pretty sure.
You think the majority of cultures think multiple spouses is ok? Do you have any numbers?
As for this notion that polygamy is a bane for women, I would disagree.
For some it would be ok, but not for all (Bountiful, for one place, is pretty much a bane to the women and girls there).
I will quote a line from Psychology Today. "It is better to share a rich or resourceful man with many women than to have a poor man all to yourself."
Psychology Today didn't say that. Someone wrote something and that was a quote in it. And I'd suggest that that is a view from a gold digger. Not all women are gold diggers. Actually it's pretty disgusting for someone to consider women in general as being that low.
Keeping the aforementioned in mind, it would make a great deal of sense why, in times long past, women would actually want, in some cases, to be in a polygamous relationship......
Fortunately, people evolve. Some might still relish polygyny. Some not. We have the freedom to choose now. Or most of us do anyway.
go ahead feminists, that was your cue to flame me.
Grow up. (How was that for flaming?)
 

talloola

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Nov 14, 2006
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many many years ago, women did not have the earning power to be independent and support themselves
and their children, if they were left alone.
women in those days were forced to seek out another partner, for the ability to feed herself and
her children, and have a roof over her head.

society has come a long way since then, and now women can grow up and makes all of those choices for
herself, can work throughout her child bearing days, and continue working while supporting a family,
'if she wishes'

those women who become trapped in a cult such as polygamy for instance, do lose their ability to
support themselves and children, and are forced 'again', as was years ago to depend on a man to
pay their way in life, and the children who are born into such cults, never learn what their true
possibilities are, and are forced to fall into the same trap, it is a group of women stuck in the
past, and caught in a trap. (that trap was invented by men for men to control women), and they hide
under the umbrella of religion as their excuse.
 

ansutherland

Electoral Member
Jun 24, 2010
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Pretty much as I would expect......you're consistent to say the least. You're right; it was not an official statement from Psychology Today, rather from someone writing for them. The book that mentioned that the majority of cultures were polygamous is called Motivation I think. It was a Psychology text from when I was in school. I still have it, so I will double check on its title. The figure, if my memory serves me correct, was that approximately 2/3's of cultures practice polygamy.

To address some of your comments about women being gold diggers and people evolving, I would say that your optimism for the current human condition is really cute. I remember Bil Maher saying, "You can't reform biology!" Well said Bill. He, of course is not entirely correct, as you could, with enough effort, reform many of our worst behaviours; or best for that matter. So, the question becomes, what are our natural predispositions?

Your position, as I have interpreted it, is that because the past is behind us we should think and act differently from how nature shaped us. This is missing a big part of what the biological evidence tells us. Take for example the notion that women are all gold diggers. It was never mentioned that they are all gold diggers and the quote from Psychology Today was only a generalization. So, is it true that women, in general, are gold diggers? I would posit yes. Gold diggers seems a little harsh though, and it is not really fair to use that language when referring to a naturally evolved and very useful, though at times, rather antiquated set of behaviours that sometimes manifest themselves in the form of what we today call "Gold digging". Also, your notion that people evolve is improperly used I think. I think you mean that cultures evolve? Though it is true that we have evolved from other species, we essentially have the same brains that we had 100,000 years ago, though there are some minor differences, perhaps mainly a slight thickening of the neo-cortex. Where the problems lie is in the disparity between our rapidly evolving cultures and technologies and our somewhat stagnant brains and accompanying behaviours. This is where your arguments lose steam. We are not as plastic as I think you believe. Sure, cultural expectations have evolved, but a lot of our behaviour is the same. This either forces our culture and society to accept the behaviour, thus helping to drive the cultural evolution, or to force the behaviour underground. Two sexual behaviours come to mind. Homosexuality and pedophilia. One accepted, thus forcing a cultural shift, the other not, thus forced underground. The biological wiring that makes for such predilections has long existed, and the culture must evolve in ways to deal with it. As for polygamous type behaviours, I would put forward that it is wired within us and that it is not human evolution that explains a shift in this particular mating behaviour, rather a cultural and societal shift.

As for exciting the Feminists, it’s easy. All you have to do is make some argument that suggests nature superseding nurture and that the current state of affairs is the natural state. That’s not to say though that it’s the desirable state.
 

ansutherland

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Jun 24, 2010
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You think the majority of cultures think multiple spouses is ok? Do you have any numbers? For some it would be ok, but not for all (Bountiful, for one place, is pretty much a bane to the women and girls there). Psychology Today didn't say that. Someone wrote something and that was a quote in it. And I'd suggest that that is a view from a gold digger. Not all women are gold diggers. Actually it's pretty disgusting for someone to consider women in general as being that low.Fortunately, people evolve. Some might still relish polygyny. Some not. We have the freedom to choose now. Or most of us do anyway.Grow up. (How was that for flaming?)

I just came across this and thought it would be a nice rebuttal to the gold digging comment. Enjoy!
The lies people tell when dating online - Yahoo! Canada News
 

earth_as_one

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Jan 5, 2006
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You think the majority of cultures think multiple spouses is ok? Do you have any numbers?...

A majority of cultures practice some form of polygamy...

Polygamy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

According to the Ethnographic Atlas Codebook, of 1231 societies noted, 186 were monogamous. 453 had occasional polygyny, 588 had more frequent polygyny, and 4 had polyandry.[3] At the same time, even within societies which allow polygyny, the actual practice of polygyny occurs relatively rarely. There are exceptions: in Senegal, for example, nearly 47 percent of marriages are multiple.[8]

Just because its allowed, doesn't mean everyone will do it.

I'm cool with that, as long as all the adults involved are free to choose and consent.
 

AnnaG

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Jul 5, 2009
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A majority of cultures practice some form of polygamy...

Polygamy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
You missed the second sentence there? "According to the Ethnographic Atlas Codebook, of 1231 societies noted, 186 were monogamous. 453 had occasional polygyny, 588 had more frequent polygyny, and 4 had polyandry.[3] At the same time, even within societies which allow polygyny, the actual practice of polygyny occurs relatively rarely. "



Just because its allowed, doesn't mean everyone will do it.
Right. I wonder why it is rarely practised?

I'm cool with that, as long as all the adults involved are free to choose and consent.
I don't much care either.
 

earth_as_one

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Fact: A majority of cultures practice polygamy.

You asked for numbers and I gave them to you. You are welcome...

No I didn't miss the second sentence. What do you think I meant by, "Just because its allowed, doesn't mean everyone will do it."???
 

AnnaG

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Jul 5, 2009
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Fact: A majority of cultures practice polygamy.
Rarely.

You asked for numbers and I gave them to you. You are welcome...
Thanks.

No I didn't miss the second sentence. What do you think I meant by, "Just because its allowed, doesn't mean everyone will do it."???
Just what I said. What do you think "rarely" means? Does that mean every one of those cultures practises it rarely, or does it mean some practise it sometimes, or does it mean some of them practise it rarely?
 

earth_as_one

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A majority of cultures allow people to enter polygamous marriages freely. But just because its allowed, doesn't mean most people do it. But how common it is various significantly from culture to culture.

47% of Senagalese marriages are polygamous. I'd say that's pretty common in that culture.

I imagine that most people given the freedom to enter a polygamous relationship would choose not to.

The same thing would happen here in Canada. If polygamy was allowed, I doubt many people would choose these types of relationships. But changing the law would end the marginalization and discrimination suffered by a tiny minority of Canadians who freely enter polygamous relationships.

If polygamy bothers you, then don't practice it. That should be your free choice. But if other consenting adults choose to practice polygamy, that's none of your business. I'm against people imposing their version of morality on others. As long as your free choice doesn't affect other people's free choices, then I say, "Live and let live!"