Doctors Report Startling Rise In Testicular Injuries Among Woman Athletes
Mar 27, 2023
NEW YORK, NY — A new study indicates a disturbing trend as testicular injuries in women's sports are increasing at an astounding rate. Researchers are baffled as these statistics have skyrocketed from literally zero reported testicular injuries among female athletes just a few years ago.
"This new wave of testicular injuries to female athletes has really come out of nowhere," said Dr. Ryan Kitchen of Boston College's Institute of Sports Medicine. "Years ago, there were absolutely no reported testicular injuries that occurred during women's sporting events. If only we could determine what led to this sudden rise. Such a puzzle!"
Institutions around the world have also noticed the disturbing trend and are pouring research dollars into discovering the cause, which is almost certainly a complicated issue with no easy or obvious answers whatsoever.
Critics have argued that it's not actually possible for a female athlete to suffer a testicular injury. "Yeah, that can't happen," said Dr. Adam Kinunen of the Restore Sanity to Sports research group. "Considering the fact that having testicles in the first place means a person is not a female, it would stand to reason that such an injury is impossible. In layman's terms, these are dudes."
Trans activist groups have come out in full force against anyone who dares to suggest women cannot have their testicles injured because women can't have testicles. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" said Sunshine Fluffsprinkle, spokesperson for Insanity Now, a trans rights group in response to the findings. "BLLRRRAAAWWRRRR FFFRRGGGTHTHTH!"
At publishing time, concerned researchers in the field of sports medicine were consulting with athletic equipment manufacturers to design protective athletic cups specifically designed to protect female testicles.
A bearded pro powerlifter entered a women’s competition in Canada — and smashed a record held by a trans lifter who was watching.
Avi Silverberg,
the head coach for Team Canada Powerlifting for more than 10 years, entered Saturday’s Heroes Classic tournament in Lethbridge, Alberta, after identifying as a female.
Avi Silverberg, the head coach for Team Canada Powerlifting for more than 10 years entered Saturday’s Heroes Classic tournament in Lethbridge, Alberta, after identifying as a female.
nypost.com
Video
shared by athlete activist group the Independent Council on Women’s Sports (ICONS) shows him walking up to the platform still fully bearded and wearing a regular men’s singlet.
He then casually bench-pressed nearly 370 pounds — beating the
current Alberta women’s record by almost 100 pounds.
That record — 275 pounds — was held by trans athlete Anne Andres, who was seen watching Silverberg while volunteering at the event.
Andres also holds the Alberta women’s record for the deadlift, at 544 pounds — giving her the local record for the total of all three lifts, lifting a combined 1,245 pounds.
The trans lifter won eight of nine competitions entered in the women’s category over the last four years, ICONS said.
As Silverberg broke her record, Andres stood off to the edge of the platform area, only strolling back on after the male lifter walked off.
ICONS said Silverberg “mocked the discriminatory [Canadian Powerlifting Union] policy” that allows competitors to register for events under their “gender identity and expression, rather than their sex or gender,” vowing “no consequences” for doing so.
Silverberg, who is also an online coach and powerlifting columnist, has not directly addressed the competition.
Andres posted a series of
lengthy video responses calling Silverberg “a coward and a bigot” with “malicious intent.”
Still,
in one clip, she openly admitted that “maybe my participation isn’t necessarily fair — you know, there’s science, whatever.”
