Toronto school takes brave stand against balls

Locutus

Adorable Deplorable
Jun 18, 2007
32,230
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These know-it-alls are an embarrassment.


After several “serious incidents” where people were “almost struck” by flying balls, and one person was tragically bonked on the head, a Toronto elementary school has cracked down. In the name of safety, children are no longer allowed to bring soccer balls, tennis balls or footballs to school. The only authorized playing spheres that will be tolerated are those made out of non-expanding recreational foam. Better known as nerf.
The decision, announced on Monday, is in response to a series of near-misses by airborne balls, and an incident where a parent on school property took a soccer ball to the head and reportedly sustained a concussion. Apparently the school’s brain trust (no pun intended) sat down with the parent council and thought really hard about how to prevent this from happening again. Eureka!, you can almost hear them shouting, as they reached the only logical conclusion: Balls can be dangerous. Ban balls! Except for nerf balls, of course. Those could never hurt anyone.




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Citing safety, Toronto school takes brave stand against balls | Full Comment | National Post
 

DurkaDurka

Internet Lawyer
Mar 15, 2006
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Toronto
The pampering of children has got ridiculous. I managed to make it through school without being killed by peanut butter, balls, bullies or taunts. Ahh, the good ol'days
 

Cliffy

Standing Member
Nov 19, 2008
44,850
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Nakusp, BC
There is no mention of, so I can only assume they are going to castrate all the boys too?! Only in Canada you say!
 

Tonington

Hall of Fame Member
Oct 27, 2006
15,441
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Back in the day parents wouldn't sue if their kid was hit by a ball either. Nor were insurance rates what they are today...

Jeez, there was this one girl in high school who was hit in the face with more balls than Pete Rose's bats. She turned out fine, and never once mentioned the L word. I think she liked it actually.
 

DurkaDurka

Internet Lawyer
Mar 15, 2006
10,385
129
63
Toronto
Back in the day parents wouldn't sue if their kid was hit by a ball either. Nor were insurance rates what they are today...

Jeez, there was this one girl in high school who was hit in the face with more balls than Pete Rose's bats. She turned out fine, and never once mentioned the L word. I think she liked it actually.

What sort of self respecting woman doesn't like balls in her face?
 

Goober

Hall of Fame Member
Jan 23, 2009
24,691
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Moving
The pampering of children has got ridiculous. I managed to make it through school without being killed by peanut butter, balls, bullies or taunts. Ahh, the good ol'days

They should also improve child safety when they are on site. I suggest little jail type cells -that way they are free from harm and know what happens if they are bad when older. Jail first - Jail cells, on wheels with Little hooks on them so they can be moved efficiently - then they will be good little safe citizens.
 

TenPenny

Hall of Fame Member
Jun 9, 2004
17,467
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Location, Location
The logical next step is to sue the school for not allowing the kids to play normal sports. If my kids went there, I'd certainly consider doing so.
 

shadowshiv

Dark Overlord
May 29, 2007
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Might as well start placing kids in big plastic bubbles and roll them to school. At least that way they'd have some fun during a school day.