THE RAPTURE, COULD BE COMING AROUND JUNE 25th
- Thread starter bigape
- Start date
Hi MikeyDB
I said.......
Well I assumed that when you said “I’m waiting”, that you were a Christian.
Because if you were a Christian, than you do belong to the LORD.
(He bought you with His Son’s blood.)
But if your not saved, than I apologize.
-You shouldn’t be waiting for anything, because nothing will happen to you, at the rapture.-
You will just go on with your life, just like nothing ever happened!
I said.......
Then you said......
Well I assumed that when you said “I’m waiting”, that you were a Christian.
Because if you were a Christian, than you do belong to the LORD.
(He bought you with His Son’s blood.)
But if your not saved, than I apologize.
-You shouldn’t be waiting for anything, because nothing will happen to you, at the rapture.-
You will just go on with your life, just like nothing ever happened!
Well it's the 25th @ 11:44am in the morning (Atlantic Canadian Standard Time) and the world is just about as sucky as it's ever been..... so it's not the 25th for all you guys a few hours behind me.
And I just love how people make these predictions "Oh well it'll be around the 25th..... give or take a month or decade." :roll:
Well you guys let me know when your part of the planet is doomed and I'll get back to ya.
But Beve....
I had this overwhelming feeling of peace and contentment....like a tremendous load was taken from me......
How can one doubt gods benevolence when he manifests his love in such a productive release of sin, halalouya:smile:
I had to go real bad so I put tim the chicken down gently so's not to hurt his crippled leg and went to the bushes, when I got back tim was gone, I think I missed it. God wanted that chicken but not me. What have I done?
I never thought of that. They were both raptured up cuz I don't see em no where arround.
The streets seem deserted here at the moment..it looks like all the "good' people are gone. Great! time to party:lol:
Should I turn on Ch.21 to get the latest bulletin from the religious front?[Vision TV] There's nothing on CNN about this. Seriously,it's like Sunday trafficwise.;-)
Well, since we are all here, all alive, all in good health, with the exception of a few fart cases, why don't we celebrate being alive, celebrate the joy abd beauty of this world, the diversity of this life, celebrate our bodies and souls, instead of just moping around, waiting for everyone to die?
All right everyone, I'm writing this one straight from Heaven itself... So if you're still on Earth well I guess it sucks to be you...
Jesus woke me up this morning with a big grin on his face... He told me ''Come on buddy! I'm taking you where you truly belong...''
So with a snap of his finger, I appeared in that big cloudy place known as Heaven... I thought I would give you a heads up on Heaven... I now realize there were a couple misconceptions...
First of all, there are no angels here in heaven... At least I haven't seen one yet. What there is though is a lot of Care Bears... yep... A **** load of Care Bears... It seems they are the ones doing most of God's work... Believe it or not, I even met Lusty Bear who is responsible for spreading sexual lust around the world... Lusty Bear's actions often cause some problems to Faithful Bear but they still manage to get along, with a little help from Guilty Bear.
Another misconception is about Jesus supposedly sitting at the right of God the Father. Jesus's throne is actually at the right of God the Father's throne but the thing is, they never actually sit on their thrones, they've got a lot of better things to do... Jesus is the lead singer in The DIvines, a rock band in which Buddha, Mahommet and a bunch of Hindu divinities get together to play the best rock you've ever heard... (You've got to hear Shiva playing the drums...) When he's not touring Heaven with his band, Jesus is usually lying somewhere smoking dubees with Bob Marley, his best buddy... Oh yeah, Jesus always wears a shirt saying ''I AM NOT A ZOMBIE!''
God is pretty cool but you rarely see him... he's kinda busy managing the Universe and its zillions and zillions of inhabitants... He's got the Care Bears to help him but Care Bears don't understand quantum physics very well... God has to deal with all the complex calculations alone...
So when I actually managed to talk to God (during his coffee break), he told me to give you guys at CanCon an important message...This rapture was just a rehearsal for the true rapture that is coming up on December 21st 2012... So if you've missed your ride to heaven today, have no fear, you should catch it in a couple of years... But be warned, the next Rapture will be an important one and if you miss that one, there won't be any other for at least 24,000 years... Do you really want to keep on reincarnating on this ****ty planet for another 24,000 years?
Jesus woke me up this morning with a big grin on his face... He told me ''Come on buddy! I'm taking you where you truly belong...''
So with a snap of his finger, I appeared in that big cloudy place known as Heaven... I thought I would give you a heads up on Heaven... I now realize there were a couple misconceptions...
First of all, there are no angels here in heaven... At least I haven't seen one yet. What there is though is a lot of Care Bears... yep... A **** load of Care Bears... It seems they are the ones doing most of God's work... Believe it or not, I even met Lusty Bear who is responsible for spreading sexual lust around the world... Lusty Bear's actions often cause some problems to Faithful Bear but they still manage to get along, with a little help from Guilty Bear.
Another misconception is about Jesus supposedly sitting at the right of God the Father. Jesus's throne is actually at the right of God the Father's throne but the thing is, they never actually sit on their thrones, they've got a lot of better things to do... Jesus is the lead singer in The DIvines, a rock band in which Buddha, Mahommet and a bunch of Hindu divinities get together to play the best rock you've ever heard... (You've got to hear Shiva playing the drums...) When he's not touring Heaven with his band, Jesus is usually lying somewhere smoking dubees with Bob Marley, his best buddy... Oh yeah, Jesus always wears a shirt saying ''I AM NOT A ZOMBIE!''
God is pretty cool but you rarely see him... he's kinda busy managing the Universe and its zillions and zillions of inhabitants... He's got the Care Bears to help him but Care Bears don't understand quantum physics very well... God has to deal with all the complex calculations alone...
So when I actually managed to talk to God (during his coffee break), he told me to give you guys at CanCon an important message...This rapture was just a rehearsal for the true rapture that is coming up on December 21st 2012... So if you've missed your ride to heaven today, have no fear, you should catch it in a couple of years... But be warned, the next Rapture will be an important one and if you miss that one, there won't be any other for at least 24,000 years... Do you really want to keep on reincarnating on this ****ty planet for another 24,000 years?
How odd? I too awoke this morning to a stranger in my bed but he was all red, had a fever and stuck me with his pitch fork. :-? The funny part was that after a little conversation he convinced me to go with him. He said the Lord was coming to make a utopia on earth. That he had 10 billion commandments now that would keep us all safe and sound. Surely he was kidding I said but no he was right; Jesus came too and showed me all his damn rules. It was endless. The lists of rules to make paradise on earth was endless. It could have gone from the earth to the moon and back seven times! Whats worse is Jesus said he was still working on it! So for paradise I have to give up my free will I said. Jesus said for God I should be willing. So what was the point of God making me I asked. So you will give yourself up for him he said. What's in it for me I asked? God will love and baby me for the rest of eternity and I won't be burdened with free will. Good God! That sounds like hell I said; I'm going with this devil fellow.