the problem is that it was arranged to be the way it is.. we were going down in separate vehicles, there were no issues there. I immediately made the point back when we first talked about it all that we were going down ourselves. she and I just want to have this to ourselves that's all.
The only reason why I and backing Chili's position is the fact (based on the information) that this was the original plan made a month ago and nothing was said or argued about and then suddenly when hotel rooms are booked, plans have already been made and so on..... now there's a problem.
To me, that's a case of being d*cked around.... it's a minor and small issue overall, but it doesn't make any sense to complain about already set plans a month after they were set.
I lost my Mom to Cancer when I was 19yrs old, and I lost my Dad to a series
of 10 massive heart attacks in 7 days when I was 13yrs old. I dealt with it.
I'd kill to trade you places, to be able to have even 8hrs with one of my parents,
even packed in with two other people in a car. Even to just say, "Hey, this is
me, & I turned out just fine.....& thank you!"
Buddy, you don't know what you have 'till it's gone.
I understand your position Ron, but this is not your life but his..... his parents are still around, he sees them basically every single day because he lives with them, and every so often..... a couple of hours alone with someone you're in a relationship without having your parents over your shoulders is a nice thing to have.
I know what it's like to still be living with a parent, in a relationship and being extremely limited on what you can do or say around the house or in your room because of what they may hear or how they may react because you're their little baby who should still be a child in their eyes.
It's pretty difficult to find time for yourself and your girlfriend/wife in that kind of environment, and I think asking for 8 hours alone on a drive wouldn't be asking too much.
Usually you have to leave the house, go find some place to be alone, maybe even find some hotel room or motel room..... but if you're living with your parents, chances are you don't always have the money to do that on a regular basis in the first place, so you're back to square one.
Because if you're doing the nasty in your parent's house with your significant other, from my personal experience, chances are they heard and you're going to have a guilt trip tossed on you, especially if they're the old skool kind who try and put out the argument that you should be married before you do such things, blah blah blah....... even though in my case, that argument was pretty hypocritical considering my parent's own past and why they got married.
The other problem is if they do take one car and all go up there together, when someone wants to go somewhere for whatever reason, either everybody has to go, or they take the car and everybody else is stuck in one spot until they return with that car.
With two cars, he and his girlfriend can go somewhere, his brother can go somewhere or his mother can go somewhere...... I personally don't see the big deal.
Added:
And to be honest I think it's everybody else in this thread who's making a mountain out of a molehill..... he's asking for a couple of hours alone on a drive with his significant other, not banishing his parents to some friggin island until they die so he never has to see them again..... and everybody in here seems to be acting as though if they all don't take the car together and spend time with his parents (who he sees everyday because he lives with them) that suddenly they're both going to die and he'll be sorry for making one minor selfish decision...... which his brother and mother both feel is perfectly fine and said they'd have no problem taking another car.
As far as I know, his mother doesn't have some terminal illness, was not crying and sobbing that she couldn't go in the car with him and the only argument being used to take one car is gas money (which was dealt with) and them possibly getting lost
(which I am sure both his mother and brother have driven a car before at least once or twice in their lives)
Way to put on the unfounded guilt trip people.
Yeah sure..... some of you have had your parents die and can no longer spend time with them and that makes you feel bad sometimes...... and some day, his parents will die...... my parents will die...... my wife's father died almost a year ago from cancer and her mom is being treated for cancer as well but is treatable...... all our parents will die eventually, just as our grand parents died and our parents had to deal with it..... it affects you...... I've had a number of people die in my life whom I'll never see again...... but does that mean I should cling onto every single person I know 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and try and spend every waking moment with them because they might die someday or feel guilty that I didn't spend more time with them?
We all have lives, including our parents.... and sometimes that means spending some time away from them in order to live our lives...... Should you feel guilty for not spending every waking moment clinging to your parents..... or should your parents feel guilty for cling to you every waking moment and not allowing you to actually live your own life as you should..... as they should have raised you to?
Frig, they'd probably want to get in a car and drive for 8 hours without me tagging along too..... just for the peace and quiet and so they don't have to hear my voice going on and on and on about everything under the sun like what you guys are suffering through right now in these forums.
Oh but you best not try and spend time away from me, because I might die tomorrow and then you'll all miss me, wished you spent more time with me and fill your life full of regret that you weren't as close to Praxius as you think you should have.
Don't worry, I won't hold it against you.......
And in a couple of months, I'll be in Australia with limited opportunities to head back here to visit my parents, friends and the rest of my family..... there's a real good chance that one of my parents or someone else in my family will die while I'm over there...... that's what happened to my wife when her father passed away last year.
Should we just divorce so she can be with her mother until she passes away, or so I can remain here in my low paying job, living pay cheque to pay cheque until both my parents die?
The reason why she was here when her father died was because he specifically told her to stay here and not come back home because of him..... he wanted her to live her life...... and when her mother got cancer a few months later, she told her the exact same thing, that she didn't want her to come back home without me....... and both my mother and father want me to head to Australia because both of us will have better opportunities there, both of us can finally afford to start a family, pay off my damn student loans..... start a life, which I hoped to have started 10 damn years ago.
He's asking for 8 hours in a car and a hotel room for the two of them for a couple of days...... based on what I'm about to do, what he's asking for is pretty damn trivial and I don't see why he has to be trashed on for asking for a simple request he already planned out a month ago.
And while I predict some of you will respond to me saying that since I never lost a parent yet, I don't know what it's like.... you're right..... I haven't and no I don't know exactly what it's like..... but I've been spending the last year at my wife's side as she's dealing with her loss and I know it's a factual reality that it will happen soon for me.
But I'm not going to halt my life because of it, nor should I or anybody else feel guilty in indulging in a tiny bit of selfishness once in a while because of it, because I know damn well my parents have done so in their lives..... and I don't hold it against them...... and I know they'd feel guilty for stopping me from living my life just because of what they may want..... because they told me so..... and actually, what we're going to be doing is what they want anyways.
