Bordering on crazy
By
Mike Strobel, Toronto Sun
First posted: Tuesday, August 23, 2016 08:15 PM EDT | Updated: Tuesday, August 23, 2016 08:22 PM EDT
Donald Trump thinks he has a problem with those pesky Mexicans?
The Republican champion is crafting his immigration platform this week, to outline exactly how he’ll deal with 11 million illegals encamped in his country.
Well, where was he this week when 1,500 American illegals washed up on our shores near Sarnia? Should we make him pay for a wall?
Unless you’ve been comatose or are trying to finish the race walk in Rio, you heard about the St. Clair River border incident.
An armada of Americans in rubber rafts and inner tubes — the annual Port Huron Float Down — veered into Canadian waters. Many had first mates named Jack Daniels.
Were they Democrats fleeing a possible Trump presidency? No.
High winds tossed their flimsy craft, like tumbleweeds across the Rio Grande. We have not seen the like since the War of 1812.
“There were Americans everywhere,” a spokesman for our coast guard told the CBC.
Some of the rafters tried to swim back to U.S. soil.
“They were terrified of entering another country without documentation,” the spokesman said. “We had to pull a lot of people out of the water and say, ‘no.’”
Odds are, among those 1,500 illegal aliens were a drug dealer or two, maybe even a rapist. Some, I assume, were good people.
Our brave lads and lasses saved them all, loaded them in buses and escorted them back across the border. We were fair, but firm.
Ah, yes. “Fair, but firm.”
That’s what candidate Trump says will be the tone of his immigration policy. It does not sound much like building a wall, does it? Is Donald getting soft?
Not really. He’s just been messing with you.
The best thing about that wall has not been Trump’s dramatic pledge to build it, but the reaction by mewlers and hand wringers of the liberatti left, and by the politically correct and gullible.
It has been highly entertaining to watch.
Anyone with half a brain knows there’s no way Trump intends to build an actual wall, brick and mortar, not to mention get Mexico to pay for it.
If he does, I will slather my hat in jalapeno sauce and eat it.
The Wall is an example of hyperbole, for crying out loud.
Rudy Giuliani, the hero of 9/11 and a Trump supporter, calls it “acceptible political exaggeration.” Same goes for Trump’s charge that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton were “founders” of ISIS.
Of course, they did not found ISIS, though their policies helped set the table.
Who’s the actual founder of ISIS? Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. You could ask him, except he’s dead.
Only the partisan took Trump literally, even when he doubled-down. Sheesh. Pull the pickle out of your butt.
Every politician exaggerates. It’s what they do.
Herbert Hoover promised a “chicken in every pot.” The American president of the Great Depression did not plan to go around handing out millions of chickens. He planned generally to improve his nation’s standard of living, and a chicken seemed a mouth-watering symbol.
In the same way, Trump simply means to fix the flow of illegal migrants in his country, in fairness to those who play by the rules. I bet his new platform reflects that.
Seems more reasonable than a honking big wall, eh? But far less dramatic.
But back to those illegal Americans at our border.
The latest Facebook entry on the Port Huron Float Down page is a thank-you to our authorities “for their assistance and understanding with the floaters who’ve unintentionally been forced to the Canadian shoreline.
“You’ve shown us true kindness and what it means to be amazing neighbors!”
Up here, we put the “u” in “neighbours.” Thanks for dropping by. Next time, go through channels, so to speak.
Eh, Donald?
Strobel’s column usually runs Monday to Thursday.
mstrobel@postmedia.com
People celebrate as they start the Float Down at Lighthouse Beach in Port Huron, Mich., Sunday, Aug. 21, 2016. (AP PHOTO)
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