Think about it this way, Gopher - what if they did give a sh*t for you? What would you do with it? :smile:
More single women than men?
- Thread starter SwitSof
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Think about it this way, Gopher - what if they did give a sh*t for you? What would you do with it? :smile:
Are you prepared to be a happy independent woman for the rest of your life?
Speaking from experience, love happens without regard to timing or status.
I met my wife when we were both very young. We had our first while everyone else was heading off or just entered into college. Made our way through grit and character, no gifts from mommy and daddy, no jobs handed down in nepatistic meddling. Though it was available at the time.
I'm happy to say that after 25 years, I love my beautiful wife more now than ever. We're pleased with the two kids we have that themselves are well able to handle their lives and make their own decisions. Though the youngest is still just finishing up high school. Before long she will be off to live her own life and we two will be young, finished raising a family and looking at a major shift in the way we approach life.
It isn't the things in life that pass by smoothly that you remember. It's the struggles that are important because those are the times that you build character and test your mettle. That is where you will find your worth as a person and as the people you are to others. Father, husband, mentor, teacher, friend and soul mate among others.
You can't change anyone but someone who stands by your side for years and years will change and will change you by their connection to you. Not by telling you where and what to be, but by being that shoulder you need when you need it most. Sharing the experiences, good and bad, and learning to build upon what it is that other person can see in you because you see in them that which is your own heart's desire.
Not boring at all. I got married at the ripe old age of 23. I did not see it coming at all. In fact, I assumed I was going to go through my life without ever getting married. For me, marriage was a way of staying with someone I was in love with as she began to move for work. I never would have had the chance to move to Germany without her, and because we are married the Alexander von Humboldt foundation is paying for me to learn Deutsch! It is not easy because I am still finishing my degree out of Canada, but my life is incredible!
By prettier, nicer, smarter and richer most people start to think: better. Then with that psychological baggage, these women are put up on pedestals. Most people don't like dealing with objects on pedestals, what if I break them? So things without pedestal, things with some flaws are seen as simpler, more down to earth. That being said, it seems religion seems to play a large part these days, or simply traditional lifestyles, these people naturally find each other. Those who embrace the modern, must naturally find themselves surrounded by individuals doing the same, and lack of interest in marriage is a very modern philosophy.
That being said, are people aware that polygamy may be sanctioned in Canada soon? I am not talking polyandry, I am talking fully-fledged polygamy here. Go fundamentalist Mormon community in southern British Columbia: Bountiful! Soon we may even have line marriages, straight out of the imagination of Robert A. Heinlein. Canada may make me proud again! Of course, first it has to be referred to the Supreme Court... then pass through parliament... well, I have my fingers crossed.
Polygamy exists here by the grace of the cowardice of the RCMP and the stupidity of the Charter of Rights. Law enforcement officers in BC are clueless as to what to do given gay marriage has already received official approval. The Charter of Rights surely can't then not envelop and embrace the right of the pluralists. Fearing acting on Bountiful will provoke the unthinkable - protection by the Supreme Court - nothing gets done out in the wilderness welfare capital.
The Charter of Rights and freedom is only so stupid in that it puts the onus on authority to prove the legitamacy of their power over you: authority over individuals is illegitimate until proven otherwise. Unless you subscribe to "Might is right!" (MiR) then you find that to be a self-evident truth, even then MiR legitimizes itself through show of force. The Charter denies the validity of MiR. The RCMP are not cowards, they have a limited budget given to them out of the coffers of the government of Canada: public funds; they doubt that they could win an expensive legal battle over this issue given the thorny issue of consent.
Further, the right of a man to marry a man and the right of a woman to marry a woman is quite different from the right of an individual to marry multiple individuals. The first hinges on the invalidity of laws which distinguish between men and women, the second hinges on "... to the exclusion of all others... " and its validity given freedom of association, conscience and expression. The denial of same sex marriage is a question of discrimination, the denial of polygamy is a question of free association and whether a government has a legitimate reason for granting special privileges to a social unit of two over all other numbers.
This is of course the issue that I was thinking about when I read: More single women than men. It also reminded me about the stereotype of the saintly female and the fornicating male. Who are these stereotyped men supposed to be sleeping around with anyways?
The RCMP are the law of the land in Bountiful. They are cowards in not using their authority to stop what most Canadians feel is illegal activity. The dumbass Charter should have been legitimized with a referendum in 1982. It was a pivotal moment in Canadian history and Canadians weren't at the table. Their reps were and they, as always, supported the party line, a line established by party insiders who are not accountable to the public.
What in hell is Bountiful doing in this country? As with comparable US centres for polygamy, the people involved are a huge drain on the public purse.
At least in the US, Warren Jeffs, a polygamist leader, has been indicted.
What in hell is Bountiful doing in this country? As with comparable US centres for polygamy, the people involved are a huge drain on the public purse.
At least in the US, Warren Jeffs, a polygamist leader, has been indicted.
Jealous bunch of people complaining is all.
Why do I only get one wife when he gets five? No fair!!! lol.
Personally, in this day and age, I see no real issue with polygamy or any of the related 'amy's' frankly.
I DO see issue with marrying off thirteen year olds into polygamous households in the name of religion, but, that's a whole different ball of wax, not necessarily related to the act of polygamy itself.
I think those were the actual concerns of the RCMP, Karrie. Which is why they didn't pursue charges. They didn't find any evidence of forcing youths into marriage. The RCMP do not want to enforce our polygamy law any more than they want to enforce the sodamy law. Must be 18 before consenting to sodomy, yeah that is reasonable...
Again as with the homosexual thread - nobody mentions love unless they are relating their own personal experience in which they have been touched by that magic.
I don't see much 'love' within the polygamous household - other than regular love which families share and children prosper - but between man and woman there seems to be a ritualistic approach rather than a deep devotional one. That breathtaking 'can't live without you' feeling of one-ness.
And finally - I can't wrap my head around the demeaning (whether intentioned or self-ascribed) of women in this situation. As if they are brood mares.
I don't see much 'love' within the polygamous household - other than regular love which families share and children prosper - but between man and woman there seems to be a ritualistic approach rather than a deep devotional one. That breathtaking 'can't live without you' feeling of one-ness.
And finally - I can't wrap my head around the demeaning (whether intentioned or self-ascribed) of women in this situation. As if they are brood mares.
You should read Friday, Stranger in a Strange Land, Job: A Comedy of Justice, or For Us The Living by Robert Heinlein. The human capacity to love definitely goes beyond the bounds a polarised relationship which traditionally subjugates women to a subservient role. The love I have for my family, my friends, my exes and people that I won't have the opportunity to have a relationship with are not lessened by and do not lessen the love I have for my wife.
Certainly affirming polyandry to the subjugation of women is bad. I am with you completely on that, you must understand my mixed feelings here: traditional polyandry is terrible but if it opens the doors to alternate contractual relationships then large gain out of (small?) foul.
Of course, now that I think about the state of the world... and the prevalence of polyandry which subjugates women... I wonder if I really want Canada to be a Haven for that? Maybe we could improve their lot, maybe we would harm it?
Certainly affirming polyandry to the subjugation of women is bad. I am with you completely on that, you must understand my mixed feelings here: traditional polyandry is terrible but if it opens the doors to alternate contractual relationships then large gain out of (small?) foul.
Of course, now that I think about the state of the world... and the prevalence of polyandry which subjugates women... I wonder if I really want Canada to be a Haven for that? Maybe we could improve their lot, maybe we would harm it?
I think in all probability, you will find that most Canadians don't give a damn about how many people want to shack up. If they are happy and not interfereing with the rest of us, then probably the only people who are going to get upset about it are the usual bunch of nitpickers that can't stand their own life and have a hate on for anyone who is happy.
I doubt that. Polygamists don't pay their own way. Their wives don't earn keep sufficient for their households. They depend on public support.
Canadians in general, speaking for this corner of the country, are sick and tired of having to accept things they don't agree with. Pretty crappy form of democracy.
Polygamy doesn't belong here and those in a position to do something about it should. If they don't, they'll have to accept the cynicism attached to their impotence.
Canadians in general, speaking for this corner of the country, are sick and tired of having to accept things they don't agree with. Pretty crappy form of democracy.
Polygamy doesn't belong here and those in a position to do something about it should. If they don't, they'll have to accept the cynicism attached to their impotence.
Oh! I think I got my definitions mixed up a little. Yeah, men having multiple wives who can't marry other men is ridiculous.
Ok, to clear this up, since I seem to have used some terms badly...
polygyny - man having multiple wives
polyandry - woman having multiple husbands
group marriage - multiple spouses of any gender
polygamy - generic term meaning more than two spouses
polyamory - generic term meaning any relationship with more than two loving partners.
Traditional polygamy is polygyny to the exclusion of polyandry. I think we all feel that in its traditional form this is bad. However, a modern polygamy is something most of us accept, with the stipulation that there are no lesser or greater roles or coercion.
polygyny - man having multiple wives
polyandry - woman having multiple husbands
group marriage - multiple spouses of any gender
polygamy - generic term meaning more than two spouses
polyamory - generic term meaning any relationship with more than two loving partners.
Traditional polygamy is polygyny to the exclusion of polyandry. I think we all feel that in its traditional form this is bad. However, a modern polygamy is something most of us accept, with the stipulation that there are no lesser or greater roles or coercion.
I have only one reference to a group of polygamus people in a community in Utah - even shunned by their fellow Mormon followers.
The husband(s) rarely have work or make a pretense at farming while the women collect welfare payments for their children - all of whom are sired by the one father.
The State of Utah on occasion will put up some kind of defense but if the children are being schooled, fed, clothed and generally happy there is rarely anything done to break the cycle.
Cycle - being when some of the girl children reach the age of puberty father then marries them and they become another of his 'wives' along with their mothers.
Eventually, I can see the gene pool suffering, not to mention the intent of welfare for families...and finally the suffering of a crippled upbringing within the family unit cast upon the children.
The husband(s) rarely have work or make a pretense at farming while the women collect welfare payments for their children - all of whom are sired by the one father.
The State of Utah on occasion will put up some kind of defense but if the children are being schooled, fed, clothed and generally happy there is rarely anything done to break the cycle.
Cycle - being when some of the girl children reach the age of puberty father then marries them and they become another of his 'wives' along with their mothers.
Eventually, I can see the gene pool suffering, not to mention the intent of welfare for families...and finally the suffering of a crippled upbringing within the family unit cast upon the children.
I present to you the Kaingang people. So you can see that not all polygamies are necessarily screwballs, incestuous or sexist. Left to their own methods outside of contractual relationships many people go through periods of polyamory as is, without the incest and sexism, many even inside of contractual relationships!