Who can tell about the time of Doomsday?

[selfsame]

The time of the occurring of Doomsday is unknown to people, and even to prophets.
When prophets were asked about the time of Doomsday, they could not tell its time: when it will occur.

Prophet Mohammed also was asked by people, and particularly by some Jews in a way of checking to see is he a true prophet or only a claimer:

So they conspired: Ask Mohammed about the time of Doomsday, so if he tells you it time: when it will occur, then he is a claimer, but if he says he does not know, then he is a true prophet.

Therefore, they went and asked him, and he said: "I don't know about its exact time of occurrence, but it may be near, for I have been sent so near to Doomsday as these two fingers of mine", and he signed with his index and middle fingers together.

But in the Quran interpretation: God will tell the Mahdi about its time and he will tell people about that, and in the Gospel, the Comforter (the Mahdi) will tell you about things that will occur in the future.

So Abu abd-Allah (Mohammed-Ali Hassan Al-Hilly) told us about its hour: it will be 2000 years following the stopping of Venus from its axial rotation, and Venus has stopped its axial rotation: now it circles around the sun with one side facing the sun, just like the Moon which circles around the earth with one side of it facing the Earth, the other side in invisible to us on earth.

Therefore, Doomsday will take place after less than 2000 years from now. This is according to the interpreter of the Quran and the Bible: Mohammed-Ali Hassan Al-Hilly in his book: The Universe and the Quran.

How the Planets Will Standstill
[URL="http://www.quran-ayat.com/universe/new_page_4.htm#How_the_Terrestrial_Planets_Will_Standstill_"]http://www.quran-ayat.com/universe/new_page_4.htm#How_the_Terrestrial_Planets_Will_Standstill_[/URL]

 

[B00Mer]

You are such a drooling idiot with all your Islamic rhetoric.

 

[lone wolf]

Every day is doomsday. Relax and enjoy the trip....

 

[B00Mer]

Medium-Size Asteroid Strike Could Unleash a Mini Ice Age

 

[selfsame]

Every day is doomsday. Relax and enjoy the trip....

If every day is Doomsday, then you should rent your garment and lament your unfortunate outcome.

You are such a drooling idiot with all your Islamic rhetoric.

Out of the ring, you disgusting one! :-x

 

[EagleSmack]

 

[B00Mer]

 

[lone wolf]

If every day is Doomsday, then you should rent your garment and lament your unfortunate outcome.

Nothing so unfortunate of my outcome - as relax and enjoy might imply to someone of sense - but you must be so anguished over your own poor job here - especially if you're on commission sales

 

[Jinentonix]

Doonesbury was started in 1970, a turbulent time with Vietnam and civil rights protests. The Hippy movement was still going on and women in the Middle East didn't have to dress up in full body-length bags. The concept of free....wait, what? He said "doomsday"? Oh, well it'll get here when it gets here.

 

[damngrumpy]

God said no one knows the time or the hour in other words he said mind your own business
and here all the religious freaks keep making predictions. I will remain here as long as poss--

 

[Ludlow]

Enough with the doom and gloom selfslop

 

[Dexter Sinister]

...Venus has stopped its axial rotation...

No it hasn't, it rotates once in about 245 days, if memory serves, about 20 days longer than it takes to complete one orbit around the sun, and in the reverse direction from all other planets, so the sun on Venus rises in the west and sets in the east. It's way more than 2000 years to Doomsday, it'll be billions of years, not thousands. You could try testing some of Al-Hilly's claims against what science knows, it's easy to find out he's got a lot of details wrong.

 

[Curious Cdn]

... another "OOGA-BOOGA" thread.

 

[talloola]

the end of our time has nothing to do with anything other than the 'earth' finally reaching

its shelf life, the earth will tell us at some point, at which time life on earth may slowly

cook to death till the earth crashes into the sun and cooks itself.

makes sense to me, nothing is forever.

 

[Johnnny]

Word is those girls drink the tears of terrorists... Thats why the arab world is working hard for the nuke because theyre tired of getting schooled!!!!

 

[Murphy]

I'll never forget my first doomsday. It was one of many in which I participated, when I lived in Europe. Well, it wasn't exactly MY doomsday. Over a period of time, it was the end of daze for a bunch of locals who practised the black arts. The Muslim arts. They would pick up anything off the desert and turn it into something. They'd steal garbage or carry off (mostly) American wrecked vehicles. The steel was what they were after, but they got their a$$ handed to them by several special forces units of various nationalities. Inshallah, baby!

Anyway, it was what would become the Gulf War. I was sent to a smelly desert to help rid the world of idolaters - the bad Muslim ones. At the time though, the only Muslims we didn't particularly care for were the ones in Iraq. But there were others of course. The Iranians, the Syrians, the Saudis, etc. They were hoping that several nations worth of infidels would crush Saddam, so they could swoop in after the love was gone and take over. How'd that work out for you Abdul?

My first doomsday started on a Wednesday, which was actually a Thursday on the Gregorian calendar.

The first thing I noticed after getting off the plane was the smell. The desert stinks - bad! And I'm not saying that because I don't come from there, or because I didn't want to go (I didn't), or because camels lived there, or Muslims lived there or anything. It just stinks! And all the air fresheners in the world couldn't kill the wretched odour. Go figure.

If nothing else, it was inspirational. I wrote this poem while we were burning drums full of ****. Yes, that's right. The latrines filled up and you burned the **** to get rid of it. I remember saying to my buddy, when we were standing downwind of the fiery, smoking ****, hey, burning **** smells better than the desert!

Those of you that were there will know what I mean. The rest of you, well, you'll just have to trust me on this.

Oh, What a Pong!
- Murphy

Oh, what pong!
It's lasted so long
I think that I'm going to be sick
Such a raunchy, foul fetor that hangs in damp weather
With a density several feet thick!

Oh, what a stench!
That Old Spice won't quench
It causes my nostils to bind
A malodourous reek that's lasted a week
I think that I'm going to go blind!

Oh, what a stink!
Too malicious to shrink
It grows with each passing hour
A revolting, sour niff that burns when I sniff
So incredibly rancid and dour!

Oh, what a smell!
I'd damn it to hell
But I haven't the strength left to fight
It continues to fume. It's filled up the room
A noxious, overpowering blight!

Oh, what a scent!
A vile, wretching vent
That pervades every inch of this place
I beg you go home and leave us alone
It's peeling the skin from my face!

Oh, what an aroma!
We're all in a coma
The fumes have gone to our heads
You're a toxic mephitis. A charmless colitis.
That likely would smell better dead!

So anyway, I said to my buddy, Jesus and Joseph, I understand why the damn Muslims want to move to London or Dallas or Moronto! There's nothing to do here. There's nothing to see. And it stinks here, literally. So, spreading Islam around the planet has nothing to do with Muḥammad, virgins or infidels. Mo didn't say, "Go forth and multiply". After he lived in the desert and got a few whiffs of the place, he just said, "Go forth, and let's get outta here!" Or words to that effect.

I got a theory about why the desert smells. There's something like 1.6 billion Muslims on the planet, but most of them live in the Middle East. You gotta figure that there's a lot of unwashed bodies living in that space. Unwashed bodies with no indoor plumbing, aka toilets or showers. And a lot of them sleep with their animals. The stench is enough to make you run for the ocean.

I figure that's why Imams climb up into towers that are high above the ground. It smells better up there!

Same with issuing fatwas and jihadding like it's 1099 (Praise be to Prince!). Get rid of the infidels so we can take over and breathe better air! But the immigrants are buggering up the air here now, sothe smells aren't going to stop. Just sayin'.

And don't get me started about the camels, camel spiders (google them and be revolted), scorpions and the other disgusting creepy crawlies that live there!

Islam is not a religion of peace. It is not about getting issued 40 virgins. It's about getting the hell out of Dodge!

I'll wrap it up by saying that as much as we tried, it's hard to wipe out 1.6 billion Muslims with a rifle. Nukes wold be my choice.

 

[55Mercury]

I'll never forget my first doomsday. It was one of many in which I participated, when I lived in Europe. Well, it wasn't exactly MY doomsday. Over a period of time, it was the end of daze for a bunch of locals who practised the black arts. The Muslim arts. They would pick up anything off the desert and turn it into something. They'd steal garbage or carry off (mostly) American wrecked vehicles. The steel was what they were after, but they got their a$$ handed to them by several special forces units of various nationalities. Inshallah, baby!

Anyway, it was what would become the Gulf War. I was sent to a smelly desert to help rid the world of idolaters - the bad Muslim ones. At the time though, the only Muslims we didn't particularly care for were the ones in Iraq. But there were others of course. The Iranians, the Syrians, the Saudis, etc. They were hoping that several nations worth of infidels would crush Saddam, so they could swoop in after the love was gone and take over. How'd that work out for you Abdul?

My first doomsday started on a Wednesday, which was actually a Thursday on the Gregorian calendar.

The first thing I noticed after getting off the plane was the smell. The desert stinks - bad! And I'm not saying that because I don't come from there, or because I didn't want to go (I didn't), or because camels lived there, or Muslims lived there or anything. It just stinks! And all the air fresheners in the world couldn't kill the wretched odour. Go figure.

If nothing else, it was inspirational. I wrote this poem while we were burning drums full of ****. Yes, that's right. The latrines filled up and you got to get rid of it. I remember saying to my buddy, when we were standing downwind of the fiery, smoking ****, hey burning **** smells better than the desert!

Those of you that were there will know what I mean. The rest of you, well, you'll just have to trust me on this.

Oh, What a Pong!
- Murphy

Oh, what pong!
It's lasted so long
I think that I'm going to be sick
Such a raunchy, foul fetor that hangs in damp weather
With a density several feet thick!

Oh, what a stench!
That Old Spice won't quench
It causes my nostils to bind
A malodourous reek that's lasted a week
I think that I'm going to go blind!

Oh, what a stink!
Too malicious to shrink
It grows with each passing hour
A revolting, sour niff that burns when I sniff
So incredibly rancid and dour!

Oh, what a smell!
I'd damn it to hell
But I haven't the strength left to fight
It continues to fume. It's filled up the room
A noxious, overpowering blight!

Oh, what a scent!
A vile, wretching vent
That pervades every inch of this place
I beg you go home and leave us alone
It's peeling the skin from my face!

Oh, what an aroma!
We're all in a coma
The fumes have gone to our heads
You're a toxic mephitis. A charmless colitis.
That likely would smell better dead!

So anyway, I said to my buddy, Jesus and Joseph, I understand why the damn Muslims want to move to London or Dallas or Moronto! There's nothing to do here. There's nothing to see. And it stinks here, literally. So, spreading Islam around the planet has nothing to do with Muḥammad, virgins or infidels. Mo didn't say, "Go forth and multiply". After he lived in the desert and got a few whiffs of the place, he just said, "Go forth, and let's get outta here!" Or words to that effect.

I got a theory about why the desert smells. There's something like 1.6 billion Muslims on the planet, but most of them live in the Middle East. You gotta figure that there's a lot of unwashed bodies living in that space. Unwashed bodies with no indoor plumbing, aka toilets or showers. And a lot of them sleep with their animals. The stench is enough to make you run for the ocean.

I figure that's why Imams climb up into towers that are high above the ground. It smells better up there!

Same with issuing fatwas and jihadding like it's 1099 (Praise be to Prince!). Get rid of the infidels so we can take over and breathe better air! But the immigrants are buggering up the air here now, sothe smells aren't going to stop. Just sayin'.

And don't get me started about the camels, camel spiders (google them and be revolted), scorpions and the other disgusting creepy crawlies that live there!

Islam is not a religion of peace. It is not about getting issued 40 virgins. It's about getting the hell out of Dodge!

I'll wrap it up by saying that as much as we tried, it's hard to wipe out 1.6 billion Muslims with a rifle. Nukes wold be my choice.

Here here!

Amen to that, brother!

Murph, you da law!

 

[spaminator]

 

[taxslave]

The time of the occurring of Doomsday is unknown to people, and even to prophets.
When prophets were asked about the time of Doomsday, they could not tell its time: when it will occur.

Prophet Mohammed also was asked by people, and particularly by some Jews in a way of checking to see is he a true prophet or only a claimer:

So they conspired: Ask Mohammed about the time of Doomsday, so if he tells you it time: when it will occur, then he is a claimer, but if he says he does not know, then he is a true prophet.

Therefore, they went and asked him, and he said: "I don't know about its exact time of occurrence, but it may be near, for I have been sent so near to Doomsday as these two fingers of mine", and he signed with his index and middle fingers together.

But in the Quran interpretation: God will tell the Mahdi about its time and he will tell people about that, and in the Gospel, the Comforter (the Mahdi) will tell you about things that will occur in the future.

So Abu abd-Allah (Mohammed-Ali Hassan Al-Hilly) told us about its hour: it will be 2000 years following the stopping of Venus from its axial rotation, and Venus has stopped its axial rotation: now it circles around the sun with one side facing the sun, just like the Moon which circles around the earth with one side of it facing the Earth, the other side in invisible to us on earth.

Therefore, Doomsday will take place after less than 2000 years from now. This is according to the interpreter of the Quran and the Bible: Mohammed-Ali Hassan Al-Hilly in his book: The Universe and the Quran.

How the Planets Will Standstill
[URL="http://www.quran-ayat.com/universe/new_page_4.htm#How_the_Terrestrial_Planets_Will_Standstill_"]http://www.quran-ayat.com/universe/new_page_4.htm#How_the_Terrestrial_Planets_Will_Standstill_[/URL]

For you doomsday will be when your sick pedophile cult is wiped off the face of the earth. Sooner than you think.

 

[Murphy]

Praise be to Ellen.

---


The Truth About Fatwas

Young people tend to think that the world was created about the same time as they arrived on the planet. Yeah, like there was some great void in the universe before your arrival...They also believe that in the few, short years before they were born, the earth was a backward place, full of stupids (to borrow from Eric von Zipper - who?), with no plumbing or electricity.

There are even some who believe they were sent specifically to save the world from itself.

Enter Wally Cox.

If you're too young to know who he is, Google is your friend (Praise be to the Google!). Descended from the loins of Atari, and her cousin Vic 20, the Commodores, Apples, and the low brow Trash Shacks from Texas, the various branches of these families gave you the Google. I could write an entire testament of the religious importance about these and other 'New Wavers', starting with Abacus, but we don't have the room. But I might, after I finish the 8th edition of the Quran.

Anyway, most people think that 'fatwa' is some kind of edict, delivered by a "Super Imam". But you'd be wrong thinking that. Some even think that fatwas are legal interpretations of Islamic law, issued by muftis. Basically, when something new comes along - packaged food, for example - can a Muslim eat it? If he does and he shouldn't have, will he be skewered, body parts cut off, and left to die on a pole in the desert?

Ex. Is it okay for a Muslim to eat Hersey bars stolen from infidels?

You'd be wrong about that too.

A fatwa is actually a fairly recent term that was born in the early daze of western television. The word 'fatwa' is a corruption of "Fat Wally", and was first spoken by Wally Cox on his television show, Mister Peepers, an early 1950s sitcom.

The writers came up with the term for a show script. A 'fat Wally' was actually funny, given the fact that Cox was 5'6" and weighed about 135 lb. As often happens in English, continuous use of the word evolved to become 'fatwa'.

How it ended up being used by Muslims is unknown. The only thing that is known is that some formerly respected mufti was found dead in his tent years ago, with stacks of 2 inch video tapes of Mister Peepers shows in his library. It's reasonable to assume he stole the idea, claiming it as his own, and threatened death to anyone that disagreed.

And now you know the best of the story!