respect elders or not?

[Chiliagon]

I for one have never really been all that comfortable around very old people..

not sure if it's because they can tend to be helpless and they look like they've got one foot and one arm in the ground already.. but I've had a sense of uneasiness ever since I went to visit my grandmother at the elder center and there were a lot of really sick and old people that just made you feel totally on edge.

then my other grandma who had a stroke was totally not herself and it just was not good.

I didn't really enjoy the visits that much.

it's too bad they're both gone now but I guess it's just how much I dislike the idea of that stage.

 

[Dexter Sinister]

Well, you're never going to get it. Every last person ought to show respect to one another until it is shown that it is not warranted.

That IS the right answer. Assume people are worthy of respect until they prove they're not. Assuming from the start that they're not will lead you to treat them disrespectfully, so you'll never earn their respect either, and if we all do that ultimately we'll all end up thinking everybody's a jerk.

 

[karrie]

i am going to disagree with what i bold, as i was told by an old timer many old people are rude and ingorant if your going to be like this than there no way your going to get my respect. i got plenty of respect for people who earn it. i can name a few.
.

I'm going to assume, since you didn't bold anything in my post, that you are addressing the initial sentences of my post.

People can LOSE my respect by being asses, but, I don't start assuming they don't deserve respect. I start each person out assuming they deserve my best. THAT is how you earn respect in return.

 

[DaSleeper]

One of my best experience with young whippersnappers was a couple of years ago visiting my daughter in Toronto...after supper...I took a walk up Mt Pleasant to Eglington had a beer at an outdoor pub there and was on my way back to my daughter's place when I noticed a bunch of older teenagers(a dozen or two) waiting for a movie theater to open and they were acting out as teenagers will, pushing and teasing each other.
I contemplated crossing the steet, but with the traffic I would have had to go back to a set of lights
As I was getting real close to the group on the edge of the sidewalk close to the street one of the boys who noticed me coming jokingly pushed another kid out of the way and said "hey this guy is trying to come through"..and they all cleared a path for me to go through
As I went through I said tank you to the first kid with a smile to the others and went on my merry way.

There are still some well behaved kids in this world:smile:

 

[karrie]

There are still some well behaved kids in this world:smile:

Living where I do, we occasionally get big groups of teens biking through, smashing fences, vandalizing stuff, breaking into vehicles.

The other day my kids were out playing with friends, and I heard it.... my son bawling... as I headed out the door to go to him, I spotted a great big gaggle of said 'problem' teens, heading over to help him up off the ground and see if he was okay. They got him up, dusted him off (he'd taken quite a fall), and got him back over to me with great concern. It was nice to see for a change.

 

[Chiliagon]

there's always going to be some mentally unbalanced people who have this thing for violence and aggressive behaviour.

you'll never totally remove it from Society.

 

[talloola]

I for one have never really been all that comfortable around very old people..

not sure if it's because they can tend to be helpless and they look like they've got one foot and one arm in the ground already.. but I've had a sense of uneasiness ever since I went to visit my grandmother at the elder center and there were a lot of really sick and old people that just made you feel totally on edge.

then my other grandma who had a stroke was totally not herself and it just was not good.

I didn't really enjoy the visits that much.

it's too bad they're both gone now but I guess it's just how much I dislike the idea of that stage.

those sick and helpless people didn't 'make' you feel anything, you did that to yourself, they are
just as human and vital as you are, and a smile and a hello, and the appearance that you liked being
there could have made many of them feel good.
I can understand children feeling uneasy around very old, frail people, but parents
can teach them to be natural and caring and helpful and respectful.

I didn't really understand this thread as talking about 'old' 'frail' people, just people who are
adult and older compared to children and teenagers and such.
If it was meant to be about very old frail people, then of course we all must respect them, treat
them very well, and help them as much as we can.

 

[Chiliagon]

well i know they didn't actually make me feel uncomfortable.. but I really feel uneasy around the ones who are near the end.

I have a neighbor who's in her 70's. she is a nice lady really nice. Gives us food and stuff and all kinds of things.

I have no problems with her at all really.

she does have some problems that have forced her to go to the hospital in an ambulance a number of times. pricy after a while.

I am not comfortable with Hospitals either, jee I wonder why?

 

[JLM]

Living where I do, we occasionally get big groups of teens biking through, smashing fences, vandalizing stuff, breaking into vehicles.

The other day my kids were out playing with friends, and I heard it.... my son bawling... as I headed out the door to go to him, I spotted a great big gaggle of said 'problem' teens, heading over to help him up off the ground and see if he was okay. They got him up, dusted him off (he'd taken quite a fall), and got him back over to me with great concern. It was nice to see for a change.

Yep, Karrie, kids run the full length of the spectrum, We probably just don't see enough of the good ones as they are busy doing something behind the scenes, not hanging out on the street or at 7/11.

 

[#juan]

The term "elderly" confuses me a little because some people tend to pigeonhole you as "elderly" as soon as you pass 65. Respecting your elders is just common decency. If you don't show your elders some respect, wait a few years. Age creeps up on everyone and
you could find yourself at the other end of the equation.
At 71 I'm still healthy except for my ears. I've used hearing aids for ten years now and they are the devil's own device. Before I got hearing aids I used to smile and nod my head a lot to tell people I agreed or something when I hadn't heard a word that was said. You don't have to genuflect or tug at your forelock around elders. Just be a human being. That's not hard. For most of us.....

 

[gerryh]

lol... Curio, this summer we were out at the cabin, and while my son (9) was bopping around bored, I told him to go talk to 'Grandpa' (57) while he chopped wood. I said 'Go ask him what life was like when he was a kid'. My son looked at me, looked out the window at Dad, and said 'He's too old to have ever been a kid'. LOL. I can't even imagine how much it would mess them up to sit down and talk to MY grandma about life as a kid. She attended a one room school, riding miles on horseback every day, alone, to get there. I don't think they'd even believe it.

hmmmmmm.... my old man, rest his soul, walked 10 miles, barefoot, in 6 feet of snow, uphill both ways, when he went to school in North Bay.........lol

 

[karrie]

hmmmmmm.... my old man, rest his soul, walked 10 miles, barefoot, in 6 feet of snow, uphill both ways, when he went to school in North Bay.........lol

I used to have to walk a mile to catch the bus, because the hill out of our farm was too steep for the bus to go up and down. I doubt my kids will ever believe that either. lol.

 

[JLM]

The term "elderly" confuses me a little because some people tend to pigeonhole you as "elderly" as soon as you pass 65. Respecting your elders is just common decency. If you don't show your elders some respect, wait a few years. Age creeps up on everyone and
you could find yourself at the other end of the equation.
At 71 I'm still healthy except for my ears. I've used hearing aids for ten years now and they are the devil's own device. Before I got hearing aids I used to smile and nod my head a lot to tell people I agreed or something when I hadn't heard a word that was said. You don't have to genuflect or tug at your forelock around elders. Just be a human being. That's not hard. For most of us.....

forty is middle aged, 55 is elderly and 65 is old. What do you automatically get when you reach 65? The OLD age pension.

 

[DaSleeper]

hmmmmmm.... my old man, rest his soul, walked 10 miles, barefoot, in 6 feet of snow, uphill both ways, when he went to school in North Bay.........lol

I used to have to walk a mile to catch the bus, because the hill out of our farm was too steep for the bus to go up and down. I doubt my kids will ever believe that either. lol.

I got you both beat:lol:
For the first five years of my school life up north I went to a single room school house a mile and half from our farm....and the last three of those five years my older sister was going to secondary school by bus ten miles to to town. So those three years, in the winter I had our trusty old StBernard to pull the sleigh to school and back and I would be checking my rabbit snares along the way:lol::lol:

 

[gerryh]

I got you both beat:lol:
For the first five years of my school life up north I went to a single room school house a mile and half from our farm....and the last three of those five years my older sister was going to secondary school by bus ten miles to to town. So those three years, in the winter I had our trusty old StBernard to pull the sleigh to school and back and I would be checking my rabbit snares along the way:lol::lol:

That's only cause your old as dirt....lol

 

[DaSleeper]

That's only cause your old as dirt....lol

 

[Bcool]

I never believed in that saying, as I've come across a number of as*hole, crabby, old farts who were out right disrespectful without any provocation except the excuse that they're old farts and it's their right to be jackasses.

Respect is earned, not given, and for me, this applies to everyone, no matter their age.

That's one thing I can't stand..... when I'm being polite and friendly, but this old coot starts crabbing at me about something, insulting me, basically making me out to be the stupidest c*nt on the planet, so I tell them what I think of them...... then suddenly they're all a'gasp and shocked that I'd even say something like I did, then they come back at me "Didn't your parents tell you to respect your elders?"

I usually reply "Respect is Earned, not Given, and you're not an elder, you're a grumpy old bastard with no friends."

Just because someone is old, that doesn't mean they still can't be p*icks..... nor does that mean I can't treat them as such if they treat me like crap. My generation is running the show now and we're too busy cleaning up after their damn mess, so a bit of appreciation and respect will earn appreciation and respect back.

Added:

Don't get me wrong, I am very respectable to the elderly, will help them if they need it, and I'm quite friendly to anybody I come across..... if a senior wishes to talk or tell me something, I'll listen perfectly fine...... but the moment someone's an asshole, look out. I respect elderly just as I respect anybody else.... everybody is treated equally and on level the moment I see them.... their following actions and attitudes are what determine how I will treat them from then on.

LOL And there speaks a future: "as*hole, crabby, old farts who were out right disrespectful without any provocation except the excuse that they're old farts and it's their right to be jackasses.":glasses3:
It's tough playing bingo on your own ya know.... so they tell me. :happy5:
It happens soooo fast. Seems like you've got another 200 years to play yet, huh?ccasion9:

Better start practising, may I recommend "How To Be A Happy Old Fart For Dummies"? Never read it myself of course, a happy old fart told me about it. :hippy2:

 

[talloola]

i'm 71, but my mind doesn't seem to know that fact, and I am respectful to many old people, and
treat them very graciously, and when I think about it, some of them were probably younger than I.
my mind is back there in the 40's age somewhere.

lol


thats OK, I'll live with that.
but hey, wait a minute, i'm married to an old guy who is 72, oh well, I think of him as somewhere
in the 40's too, so that's cool.

 

[Ron in Regina]

I for one have never really been all that comfortable around very old people..

not sure if it's because they can tend to be helpless and they look like they've got one foot and one arm in the ground already.. but I've had a sense of uneasiness ever since I went to visit my grandmother at the elder center and there were a lot of really sick and old people that just made you feel totally on edge.

then my other grandma who had a stroke was totally not herself and it just was not good.

I didn't really enjoy the visits that much.

it's too bad they're both gone now but I guess it's just how much I dislike the idea of that stage.

You know, I really wish you could meet the Consultant for the Trucking
Company I used to work for. He'll be seventy-two later this year. One
of the nicest guys you would have ever meet, given the chance.

With a Grade 8 education, he raised eight children, has been married
to the same woman for over 50yrs, is a self-made millionaire, and a
wealth of information. Awesome Guy!

Without ever meeting you, I can honestly say that I'm sure that right now,
today, he could kick your arse, and mine, and still not be late for coffee.

He could most likely out-Waltz & out-Polka the two of us also....and he's
just over 30yrs older than I am.

Sorry to hear about your grandparents passing. They could have taught
you a whole lot had the circumstances been different.

 

[Goober]

Ok the saying goes "respect your older elders.

I have a problem with this saying. Why should i give someone respect for free when you are suppose to earn it? why does it matter on your age? what have you done?

I am not saying i don't respect elders, i just want them to show respect first before i give them respect. i am also told to that you earn respect you don't get it.

so why should it be any different?

I see your logic train is a tad off the rails - and yes I would qualify as getting on to be an elder - If I live so long

You want everyone else to give you respect first - then and only then do you offer respect in return -

So tell me how you earn it when others have to provide it firstly to you.

Showing repsect to others will gain respect for you from people who only see what and how you act and not even know you - Were you aware of that?

As to your other post about being an asshxloe - we all can do that at any age - the trick is as you get older, you try to do less of it.