A spanked child may be a better adult
- Thread starter JLM
- Start date
No you don't.
You simply know that you lucked out, like every other parent that raised decent kids.
I have absolutely no problem with you raising your kids without physical punishment.
Perhaps you could be so decent as to practise tolerance of the other point of view.
It was the same in our household, VanIsle. Misdeed never went unpunished in our house either. If our son did something that deserved discipline, I would explain to him what he did wrong and that he was going to be punished. Then I would wait 24 hours, I didn’t want to give excessive punishment out of anger. When you are close to the event, you may not be able to think objectively.
I would think over it for 24 hours. The next day I would let him plead his case. Only after that I would hand down the punishment (it did happen once, after listening to his pleadings, I saw that there were extenuating circumstances and I reduced the punishment as a result). It was never spanking, of course. But withdrawal of privileges, no television for a few days (those were the days before the computer) etc.
But misdeed never went unpunished in our house as well.
Yup. The "experts" in BC also came up with the idea of passing kids whether they produced good school results or not. We pulled our kids and taught them mostly ourselves and then edged them back into the school system after the "experts" had decided it was a bad idea to begin with.
The "experts" also had people convinced everything was going along well .... right before 2008's economic slide downhill.
Although this Marjorie Gunnoe has a PhD in psychology, I would research more into her idea that some spanking MAY be a good thing and see if other psychologists agree. But that isn't to say that she isn't onto something; she may be dead right.
Definition of spanking is very simple, countryboy. Spanking is inflicting physical pain of any kind, whether it be by hand, cane, belt or a switch.
that is my opinion, countryboy. And also that of most child experts, child psychologists.
I see, so you agree with me that most parents spank their children out of anger. If they did not spank it on the spur the moment, out of anger, why would they regret it later on?
The rules that you outline are all very well, and do make sense. But how many parents do you think follow through with the rules? Most parents hit their kids out of anger, are happy when the child stops the behavior (temporarily) and move on. In my opinion, the whole idea of spanking is wrong.
Anyway, it has been fun, I don’t think I have quite caught up with the thread yet (my previous posts seem to have generated plenty of response), but I am working towards it. Later, Bye.
How limited in scope you are. There are 4 tools a parent can use to increase good behavior and decrease bad behavior and you only used one. Positive punishment. tsk tsk Well, I hope your kid uses his brain more than you did when he has kids.
it doesn't? well sh*t.... yuou mean I have wasted over 30 years of my life raising over 7 kids?
Sorry.... Maybe you'd better do some reading. (Sec 43 CCC) A weapon is illegal. A bare hand and reasoned measure is legal - no matter how harsh you believe it to be.
It's not just me S.J. (nor would I be so conceited to think it should be) but there's at least half a dozen other posters here telling you the same thing, and to not listen to them is just crass arrogance. Yet you will believe someone who writes something in a book.
And that might explain some of the language I hear being used down at the mall by some of the little darlin's these days.
You can't. nesasarily, blame the parents for that. There are plenty of places for children to learn new and wonderful words and phrases when they hit school. I know, I for one, did not learn to swear from my parents. Neither said a cuss word in front of us kids when we were young but I could make a sailor blush by the time I was 9/10.
Careful with those opinions, sir. They do tend to change. I once had a child psychologist insist that my 7 year old daughter needed to be on a big program of drugs to help her along in school, as she had trouble concentrating. We disagreed with him and his expert colleague and decided to instead give her extra studies and coaching at home ourselves.
She's now in her final year at university and doing very nicely. I wonder how things would have turned out if we had started feeding her the drugs that the "experts" virtually insisted on way back when?
What's that old expression in management? Let's see...you can delegate the task, but you can't delegate the responsibility. I think that applies to parenting too.
That's one of the sadnesses about our modern day urban oriented society. Three years is not too young to teach a reasonably intelligent three year old anything
, or at very least to begin the learning process in any walk of life. There are a couple of good books that illustrate this well (non fiction books) written by British Columbia pioneers, one is "Three Against the Wilderness" by Eric Collier and another is "Never Fly Over an Eagle's Nest" by Joe Garner. (I actually knew Joe Garner when I was a young boy) Being in writing and published so I'm fairly sure these events are not "anecdotal", but I'm sure if it is that will disqualify it- but then I guess all the History books are anecdotal too.....................:smile::smile:
Not to mention all the thousands of sad cases of children who were put on that f*^)(^* Riddalin by the "experts"