sorry Chili. Back to the topic at hand....
Men have gone to the ends of the earth and back to chase tail, so, making a move you don't want to make wouldn't be unusual in the grand scheme of things. But, it doesn't mean you SHOULD do it.
What do you do for a woman..
- Thread starter Chiliagon
- Start date
sorry Chili. Back to the topic at hand....
Men have gone to the ends of the earth and back to chase tail, so, making a move you don't want to make wouldn't be unusual in the grand scheme of things. But, it doesn't mean you SHOULD do it.
well, I've done lots for a particular gal. I am a woman pleaser! I can't say on here what that is necessarily but I love to.
I'd do it. But then I like to get out of my own skin from time to time.
In some way, no-thing is not me. But it really depends on how much I can trust the person and on the particular situation.
To eaglesmack and Bear....
one the best things about me being gay is that girls walk around me naked all the time......all shapes and sizes.....
so give it a shot.....lolololo
one the best things about me being gay is that girls walk around me naked all the time......all shapes and sizes.....
so give it a shot.....lolololo
ARRRRRGGGGH! Well welcome aboard me matey!
Tis time for some fine gun drill! Roll back ye guns me lads and stuff yer bags and balls in the holes. Grab ye rammers and ram em' home laddies! Prepare to run em' out. Mr. Bear if ye' be so kind to get yer lads to bring ye' spongers to the ready.
If we be havn' to chase ye' Mr. Dingus then you'll find your back under the lash!
Do you see that man behind the helm? That be Capt. Andem see. He be not saying much to the crew but as sure as he be standing there he'll have your back bared and lashed if ye' be malingering down the hold.
Sir? Is that cosmoline or KY on yer weapon Sir?
"or"...
Are you kidding? SCB just gave me a bath, do you know how much trouble I'd get in?
I'm moving from here to Australia at year's end.... does that count?
At what point do you do this?
There is no set period of time, you do it only if it feels right to you to do it.... you shouldn't be pressured into doing anything you don't want and if she can't understand that, or has no patience in waiting for you to be ready, then that should tell you something about her and your relationship with her.
Keep in mind that there's always risks and unknowns.... will your life be better living with her or will it be better to remain where you are at? If you move in with her, will the relationship change? Better or worse??
Is she asking you to move in with her? Did she bring it up? Did you bring it up?
If you're old enough to have your own place and/or to live with a room mate, then you're old enough to make this decision on your own..... if she feels compelled to continually pressure you over this or to sway your judgment, while she may have good intentions and just wants to live with you... the other aspect is that she could be wanting to use you to benefit her own situation of having a second person helping out with bills and rent.
Everybody moves at their own pace and if you're not ready, then you're not ready.
Having to ask the question in these forums and other opinions form members on when you think is a good time to move in/out, looks to me as a sign that you're certainly not sure if you're doing the right thing.
You won't know if you don't try, but also.... make sure you're not going to end up being a sucker and taken for granted.
If that's the case and she's trying to make you do something you're not ready in doing, then from my personal experience with such things.... she's being manipulative, knows you don't have a high self esteem when is comes to relationships and thinks she can make you do whatever she wants with a little bit of pressure.
If it was me, I'd be telling her exactly how I feel.... that I'm not ready to move in with her because I have concerns about her and living with her. If she's trying to control and pressure you into doing what she wants now.... just imagine what she'll be like when you're living with her.
Bad Medicine.
If she cared about you, she'd know this was out of character for you, and that you're not ready, thus she'd wait until you were ready..... if she's continually pressuring you to move in knowing all of this, then she obviously doesn't really give a sh*t about you.
My first serious relationship went a bit like that.... I was a sucker in many ways, and eventually it became a situation where I was doing everything for her, and she'd do very little for me..... She'd drink and smoke pot and cigarettes..... I just smoked pot.... she eventually quit smoking pot for a few months but still smoked cigarettes and drank.... one day she had the damn gall to tell me I shouldn't smoke pot anymore because she didn't like it...... I flipped on her ass and explained to her just how much of a damn hypocrite she was and that I'd break up with her before I agreed to that damn request..... I didn't like her smoking cigarettes and didn't care for her drinking, but I knew it wasn't my place to tell her what to do, so I'd be damned if I was going to let her do that to me.
This was also the same girl who cheated on me at least once and I was too young and too stupid to break it off right then and there..... I got suckered in thinking that since she came out and told me to my face and acted all sorry about it, after a break, I gave her another chance...... that was her sign that she could manipulate my sorry ass even more..... but it was also my sign that the end was near for our relationship.
Eventually we broke up, but we had a yearly signed contract with the apartment we were living in and for some stupid reason (I think it was money) we agreed to just remain as room mates. Things got worse from there, she'd bring home some pretty screwed up whackos and stalkers, she lived like a pig and the apartment was a total mess, acted as though it was my damn job to clean up after her or at least she'd leave it long enough to see if I'd get fed up and clean up after her (which I didn't) and it got to the point where she thought that because I was making more money then her crap ass Wendy's job, that I should pay for her groceries and such...... I fk'n laughed in her damn face and told her exactly where to go.
It just went worse from there and eventually when I started seeing someone else, she tried to meddle into that relationship, ruined much of my stuff in the apartment from her slobby'ness, and a conflict ensured where because I wouldn't let her use my sh*t anymore she demanded that my girlfriend at the time wasn't allowed in the apartment anymore.
That didn't fly and because my gf at the time was standing right there, she almost beat the living snot out of her since this had nothing to do with her........
right then and there was when I decided to tell her to take a friggin hike and gtf out of my life once and for all. I told her she had a week to pack up her sh*t and go..... I was taking the apartment since I could afford it and she couldn't and if she didn't agree, then I'd move out and she can deal with an apartment she couldn't afford.
After her dicking me around, I dicked her good in the end..... er..... :-? yeah, that's it.
Anyways, the moral of the story is don't be a douche..... don't be a chump..... I had some concerns and doubts but I didn't listen to them...... of course everybody has to take their own path and learn their own mistakes..... but make sure you're doing what's right for you, not what's right for her.
Ha.... now you really sound like my younger self...... and if your situation is anything like my old situation..... you snagged a girl who knows you're a "Woman Pleaser" and is taking advantage of that.
Then again, I have no idea of your age, how long this relationship has been going on, or her intentions on why she's so adamant of you moving in.
Mr. Prax! All this time to be witing ye' fancy words means less time to be swabbing me deck. Grab ye' brick and sand and get to work ye' scallywag!
Oi, I's don't 'member joining yer scurvy crew of sea-soaked squid-se'men.
Ye'said ye left yer parent's hut fer eh wench named thar sea, eh?
Brings eh whole new meaning t'eh "Hot Dog in a Bucket O' Water" donch'a rec'con?
BWWAAAA HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!!! *slams grog on the table while slapping his knee in laughter.... his crew follows suit*
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I bagsy the big butch bearded guy with the huge weapon.Oi, I's don't 'member joining yer scurvy crew of sea-soaked squid-se'men.
Ye'said ye left yer parent's hut fer eh wench named thar sea, eh?
Brings eh whole new meaning t'eh "Hot Dog in a Bucket O' Water" donch'a rec'con?
BWWAAAA HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!!! *slams grog on the table while slapping his knee in laughter.... his crew follows suit*
Mr. Prax - agree with everything you have written here.
Chiliagon...as Praxius and others have written I add my words to theirs:
You are trying to "anticipate" the event in hopes of changing its outcome.
If she was moving to another location within Canada that would be more "normal" but moving to Australia perhaps away from you makes me wonder why?
She is testing you and in order to find your own strength and desire, I would not choose to move "with her" but after the fact. Does she think she will "love you more in Australia?"
Love is unconditional and has no particular location in which it will thrive more than it does in the present.
If she feels she will "love you more if you prove yourself and follow her" - she is putting up conditions which
may not work and if it gets rough between you - you will eventually come to resent her for the "move you made". People in love just want to be near each other no matter where they live.
Nobody needs to prove their love other than being constant and wishing to be with the other person....regardless
of where you park your shoes and toothbrush and other things.
Chiliagon...as Praxius and others have written I add my words to theirs:
You are trying to "anticipate" the event in hopes of changing its outcome.
If she was moving to another location within Canada that would be more "normal" but moving to Australia perhaps away from you makes me wonder why?
She is testing you and in order to find your own strength and desire, I would not choose to move "with her" but after the fact. Does she think she will "love you more in Australia?"
Love is unconditional and has no particular location in which it will thrive more than it does in the present.
If she feels she will "love you more if you prove yourself and follow her" - she is putting up conditions which
may not work and if it gets rough between you - you will eventually come to resent her for the "move you made". People in love just want to be near each other no matter where they live.
Nobody needs to prove their love other than being constant and wishing to be with the other person....regardless
of where you park your shoes and toothbrush and other things.
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Wait, I'm confused..... I'm the one heading to Australia, not Chiliagon (I have no idea where he's moving) and after my wife lived here for three years straight and work in the Maritimes is low pay crap, we both decided to head there.... for me, I have no serious concerns about the move and am more then willing to move.... besides, we're married, so it's not like a boyfriend/girlfriend situation based on a spur of the moment idea.
no no.... us moving to Australia is a completely different situation then my previous story of my first serious relationship.... my wife and I being my third serious relationship. If I had concerns about my relationship with my wife and she was being controlling/manipulative, I wouldn't have married her, let alone agree to head to Australia.
With our plans for Australia, we both talked about it long and hard for the last year+ and we both mutually agreed to move there.... she spent time in Canada, I'll spend time in Australia, she met all of my family, yet I only met her parents, there's more job opportunities there for both of us, with better pay then here, She always wanted to see Canada, I always wanted to see Australia..... and so on.... this situation is not like the situation where my first serious relationship involved a manipulative bitch who was only out for her own benefits at everyone else's expense..... and in that relationship, I was 20-21, she was 18-19..... so overall, both of us were clueless.
Agreed, but I still think you misunderstood the situations I was previously describing.
As far as I know, Chiliagon didn't specify where he was moving, beside moving in with a "woman" from living in a place with a room mate..... but what you say does still apply.
It's one thing to admit you'd like to have someone you care about move in with you..... it's another thing when they continually pressure you into moving in with them through guilt trips and constant hounding...... as I said.... if she's like that now, just imagine what she'll be like when you move in with her.
And most just starting off will think that if they move in with someone or if they marry someone, most of their concerns and problems will magically be cured or the person you're with will somehow change......... They Won't! They might even say they'll change and all their concerns will be gone, thus a better relationship, but in my experience, that's a bucket of three day old cold horse semen.
Women like that are the one's you end up getting stuck being dragged to auctions to buy antiques and useless nick nacks, tosses out your home made coffee table & posters of movies you like and begin to redecorate your entire environmental persona with fancy smelling soaps, stuffed animals and frilly shower curtains..... all the while grooming you into a damn cuckold because after a while you begin to think you got it good and you'll never do any better, so you might as well put up with it.
Then after about 10 or 15 years of this, you gradually begin to go insane and start chopping up random prostitutes you pick up after work before you head home and package them up for your wife to cook up roasts and other meals for you and your family to eat...... just for the sake of somehow getting back at your wife because you've become to chicken'sh*t to stand up for yourself and leave the relationship for everyone's benefit.......
and before you know it, you're an episode on CSI.
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Hi Praxius
Humble apologies - I originally posted the response to you personally because when I scanned (obviously not read properly) the conversation I thought it was you who was moving because of pressure from a girlfriend....
Personal best wishes to you and your wife regarding your move - Australia must be a lovely place to live - I met many Australians in Vancouver and they have a love of life which I envied.
Thanks for sorting me out - no reason - just careless. Sorry to you and readers! Curio
Humble apologies - I originally posted the response to you personally because when I scanned (obviously not read properly) the conversation I thought it was you who was moving because of pressure from a girlfriend....
Personal best wishes to you and your wife regarding your move - Australia must be a lovely place to live - I met many Australians in Vancouver and they have a love of life which I envied.
Thanks for sorting me out - no reason - just careless. Sorry to you and readers! Curio