Ugly American Goes Into Hiding After Killing Cecil The Lion

B00Mer

China Joe
Sep 6, 2008
37,225
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Canada
www.DFWClassifieds.com


I murdered Cecil – Big Frigging Deal!

Get Over it Bunny Huggers – I’m a Dentist, so Shut Your Mouth


In early July, I was feeling sexually inadequate and really damn tired of poking around in the mouths of boring people, so I flew over to Zimbabwe to satisfy my need to kill. The voices inside my noggin were bugging me, repeating over and over, "Nimrod, you’ve got to kill something." I found this outfitter in Zimbabwe who knew the right people to bribe. He said he would handle all the red tape, and thus I need not worry about silly restrictions like National Park boundaries. I had no idea that the lion was a favourite. It’s not like he’s the frigging Lion King for God’s sake. My guide said, hey that’s Cecil, he’s a very famous lion, he’ll look good in your den and what a conversation piece he will be. I thought wow, how many hunters have a trophy kill with a name. Neato.

I had no idea the lion was collared, I thought he was carrying his lunch in a pack on his back. I relied on the expertise of my shifty eyed guides. They told me that they could get this Cecil out of the park by dragging another animal we had just quickly killed. I got a bit of a rush with that but I needed the big rush that only a dead lion could give me.

The bait kill was good foreplay, I was starting to get really excited seeing them drag the bloody carcass across the ground. When I saw this lion they call Cecil, I just knew I had to have him in my den. I took out my bow, you know I once skewered a playing card at a hundred yards, so I’m a pretty damn good shot. I let the arrow fly, felt that delicious feeling in my pants and watched as the arrow penetrated deep inside the lovely beast. He roared. My guide said, “Bwana, you peed your pants.” I snapped back. “Shut the hell up, that’s not pee.” But then the lion was gone leaving a trail of blood.

The lion should have placed a playing card over his heart. He did not, so it was his own fault he was not dead. We trailed him for 40 hours, well not a total of 40 hours. I needed to get some sleep, change my pants and have a few drinks but immediately afterwards we picked up the trail and found him.

Mr. big-shot King of the Beast was whining like a little cub. It was pathetic. I had to put a bullet in him to shut him up. We then took his pelt and cut off his head. That was really thrilling I have to admit. I had to go change my pants again right after. I told the guides to send the head off to me in the mail and I raced to the airport to get home.

Now I hear everyone’s pissed. I don’t see why, I’m a real conservationist. It's men like me who make it possible for animals to have a purpose. All hunters do more for wildlife than the wimpy hippie bunny huggers. I think people are just jealous. And now they’re bringing up all sorts of stuff from my past like that bear I killed illegally or that annoying sexual harassment case. Damn woman, It’s her fault you know, perhaps if she the decency to had put out, I would not have had to go all the way to Africa to murder Cecil. Oh well with this lion bagged I may have a chance with that murderous Jones girl or the one who likes to pose lying next to a dead giraffe.

And hell, now even some of my patients are upset, you would think they would appreciate a dentist who loves the sight of blood and yes I do go a little lenient on the pain-killers. People should not use drugs and it deprives me of the screams. I love the screams. They drown out the voices, at least for awhile until the need to kill rises again in my gut. What is really sad for me is that the Zimbabwean bureaucrats confiscated my lion. Bastards, It’s my lion, I killed it, it’s mine dammit and I want it, I want my precious, I do.

Source
 

skookumchuck

Council Member
Jan 19, 2012
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Van Isle
So you're defending the dentist??

You're defending a couple of low life trackers baiting a lion out of a Conservation area to kill it?

Please be more clear.. you think people are being to mean to the dentist?

Let him live his life, rather than acting like a leftwinger...........what i do is ok but not you.
 

#juan

Hall of Fame Member
Aug 30, 2005
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What bothers me the most about this turkey is his habit of shooting an arrow into animals first so they can suffer for an hour or so before it is killed with a high powered rifle, . And they call this a "sport"????
 

skookumchuck

Council Member
Jan 19, 2012
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Van Isle
'What lion?' Zimbabweans ask, amid global Cecil circus

What bothers me the most about this turkey is his habit of shooting an arrow into animals first so they can suffer for an hour or so before it is killed with a high powered rifle, . And they call this a "sport"????

Good grief juan, he made a bad shot with his crossbow and had to track then use his rifle, it happens. It was not planned that way for cripe sakes! You are a fool.
 

#juan

Hall of Fame Member
Aug 30, 2005
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'What lion?' Zimbabweans ask, amid global Cecil circus



Good grief juan, he made a bad shot with his crossbow and had to track then use his rifle, it happens. It was not planned that way for cripe sakes! You are a fool.

Bull!!! Taking clients bow hunting is one of the "services" offered by this A-- ho--. But hell, there are almost 22,000 lions left in the wild and if you have $50,000.00 you can go kill one and be a big hero like your dentist friend.
 

skookumchuck

Council Member
Jan 19, 2012
2,467
0
36
Van Isle
Bull!!! Taking clients bow hunting is one of the "services" offered by this A-- ho--. But hell, there are almost 22,000 lions left in the wild and if you have $50,000.00 you can go kill one and be a big hero like your dentist friend.

You are so far off topic, how can you do that and follow an OP? What part of a bad shot do you not get? I have no interest in hunting Lions, in the context of legally allowed sport, i also have no interest in telling other people what they can and cannot do. You have obviously declared him guilty without a trial, typical.
 

Curious Cdn

Hall of Fame Member
Feb 22, 2015
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Let him live his life, rather than acting like a leftwinger...........what i do is ok but not you.

I'm try to decode what "Let him live his life, rather than acting like a Leftwinger" means.

Does that mean that someone who stops you from doing anything you want to anything, anywhere, anytime for any reason that you can come up with including killing them makes you some sort of a Commie hippy fag?

"Ya must be a pinko if you weren't raised in the jungle by wolves, like I wuz" ?

I'm waiting for Sarah Palin to weigh-in on the side of the dentist.
 

#juan

Hall of Fame Member
Aug 30, 2005
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You are so far off topic, how can you do that and follow an OP? What part of a bad shot do you not get? I have no interest in hunting Lions, in the context of legally allowed sport, i also have no interest in telling other people what they can and cannot do. You have obviously declared him guilty without a trial, typical.

Who was talking about being off topic?

You talk about lion hunting as a sport. There is no sport in killing animals with a high powered rifle. While I have no authority over hunters, I am certainly free to disagree with their practices as we all are.
 

skookumchuck

Council Member
Jan 19, 2012
2,467
0
36
Van Isle
I'm try to decode what "Let him live his life, rather than acting like a Leftwinger" means.

Does that mean that someone who stops you from doing anything you want to anything, anywhere, anytime for any reason that you can come up with including killing them makes you some sort of a Commie hippy fag?

"Ya must be a pinko if you weren't raised in the jungle by wolves, like I wuz" ?

I'm waiting for Sarah Palin to weigh-in on the side of the dentist.

Your little spittle rant ignores the law. How do you go there, you did not read the actual story did you? He is legally entitled to hunt a Lion, have you also described him as guilty without a trial? I thought so, no surprise, now you know a little more about left wingers, surprise, they are you.
Too bad you are so stupid.

If he had been Canadian, would tay have called him "an ugly Canadian"?
 

Tecumsehsbones

Hall of Fame Member
Mar 18, 2013
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Your little spittle rant ignores the law. How do you go there, you did not read the actual story did you? He is legally entitled to hunt a Lion, have you also described him as guilty without a trial? I thought so, no surprise, now you know a little more about left wingers, surprise, they are you.
Too bad you are so stupid.

If he had been Canadian, would tay have called him "an ugly Canadian"?
Not legally entitled to poach one by luring it off a protected reserve.
 

JLM

Hall of Fame Member
Nov 27, 2008
74,806
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Vernon, B.C.
Who was talking about being off topic?

You talk about lion hunting as a sport. There is no sport in killing animals with a high powered rifle.

Not to mention 4 wheel Drives, A.T.V.s, helicopters etc. I'm in favour of allowing hunting for the sole purpose of feeding ones family and be prepared to provide proof the meat was actually eaten.
 

#juan

Hall of Fame Member
Aug 30, 2005
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Not to mention 4 wheel Drives, A.T.V.s, helicopters etc. I'm in favour of allowing hunting for the sole purpose of feeding ones family and be prepared to provide proof the meat was actually eaten.

Would that involve a stool sample?
 

Curious Cdn

Hall of Fame Member
Feb 22, 2015
37,090
2
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Your little spittle rant ignores the law. How do you go there, you did not read the actual story did you? He is legally entitled to hunt a Lion, have you also described him as guilty without a trial? I thought so, no surprise, now you know a little more about left wingers, surprise, they are you.
Too bad you are so stupid.

If he had been Canadian, would tay have called him "an ugly Canadian"?
I suppose but few of us would see him as exhibiting "Canadian Values" ... but few of us have much trouble believing that there are tens of millions of this kind of Yahoo in the United States, proud that they "don't take no crap from nobody" and that if you don't agree with them, you must be commie scum.


... or perhaps one of the furriners that's a NAYSHUNALIST! [gaaaasp! Not one of those!!]
Git ma gun, Myrtle! Thar's Naytionalists up thar in Kyanada!"
 

damngrumpy

Executive Branch Member
Mar 16, 2005
9,949
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kelowna bc
This animal was lured from a protected area as I understand. Besides we are
in a new era of social license just because its legal does not mean it is
acceptable anymore. Right and wrong no longer has anything to do with it.
People will hound you for you perceived behavior now
 

JLM

Hall of Fame Member
Nov 27, 2008
74,806
334
83
Vernon, B.C.
Would that involve a stool sample?

That would be an extreme case. Checking the deep freeze might suffice. :)

This animal was lured from a protected area as I understand. Besides we are
in a new era of social license just because its legal does not mean it is
acceptable anymore. Right and wrong no longer has anything to do with it.
People will hound you for you perceived behavior now

I think a line should be drawn at endangered species. It's a little different from shooting rats at the garbage dump.