The need for attachment

[china]

What is attachment? Why do we have such tremendous need for attachment? What are the implications of attachment? Why is one attached? When you are attached to anything, there is always fear in it, fear of losing it. There is always a sense of insecurity. Observe it for yourself. There is always a sense of separation. I am attached to my wife. I am attached to her because she gives me pleasure sexually, gives me pleasure as a companion; you know all this. So I am attached to her, which means I am jealous, frightened. Where there is jealousy, there is hatred. And is attachment love? I think that is one point to note in our relationships.

 

[Liberalman]

I am attached to my wife. I am attached to her because she gives me pleasure sexually

I find it interesting that you would list this as your most important attachment so are you saying that if you are not satisfied sexually then your attachment would disappear?

 

[JLM]

I find it interesting that you would list this as your most important attachment so are you saying that if you are not satisfied sexually then your attachment would disappear?

For once I agree with you Liberalman. :lol::lol: (Maybe China should quit thinking so much)

 

[SirJosephPorter]

I find it interesting that you would list this as your most important attachment so are you saying that if you are not satisfied sexually then your attachment would disappear?

Quite so, Liberalman. I wonder if China will leave her if she stops being sexually attractive to him (when they both get old, or she loses her looks because she has to get chemotherapy, for instance).

It seems a very shallow basis for marriage.

 

[china]

Liberalman

I find it interesting that you would list this as your most important attachment

Why ? Do you think that I should list Love as the most important attachment?
Love is not an attachment .

 

[JLM]

Liberalman



Why ? Do you think that I should list Love as the most important attachment?
Love is not an attachment .

No, but can you think of a better reason for attachment?

 

[Cliffy]

It is attachments that lead to misery and suffering in the world, that is why Buddhists strive to detach themselves from material things and emotions. But as a friend said recently, "Wouldn't that make you feel dead inside?" Perhaps, but isn't emotional attachment the source of all our pain and joy? It would seem that you can't isolate one from the other and remain human. How could we experience ecstasy without knowing intense pain?

 

[lone wolf]

Are you speaking attachment or addiction?

 

[Curiosity]

China

Another conundrum!

I would say basic need for attachment to another (not a thing nor ideal nor philosophy) human is our genetic wiring to ensure propagation of our species.

Hopefully we continue to improve humanity - but when I review history it seems
our "attachment" to "things" has exceeded our need to attach as a human.

Humans have created so many diversions from basic love of others I wonder
where we are headed. Yes I believe love of another is attachment whether
we choose it or not. It is a necessity.

 

[JLM]

"Humans have created so many diversions from basic love of others I wonder
where we are headed."-

That is one of the main problems in the world today. And you thought that up on your own this early on a Monday morning? Good thinking, Curio

 

[JLM]

Are you speaking attachment or addiction?

Or obsession? :lol:

 

[TenPenny]

I am attached to my wife. I am attached to her because she gives me pleasure sexually, gives me pleasure as a companion; you know all this.

Oddly enough, one of the reasons that she pleases you sexually is because she is attached to you, as a companion. Typically, that's what motivates a lot of women sexually.

 

[TenPenny]

I find it interesting that you would list this as your most important attachment so are you saying that if you are not satisfied sexually then your attachment would disappear?

I think several of you didn't read that whole sentence.

 

[Curiosity]

Ha JLM

I was up early today and came back to answer China's interesting post and saw I had already typed one!!!

Thanks for your compliment - I think I need to attach more closely to my brain!!!

curio

 

[Supreme]

A key component is habit. This is often the case with people who are so close to their partner for awhile, seeing them everyday doing everything with them will have a harder time when it comes for them to break up because suddenly you have no one to do anything with. Thus a creation of attachment. I do not believe sex is a huge component for most people. As Liberalman state "if you are not satisfied sexually then your attachment would disappear?" Does a relationship need sex to have an attachment? What about all the mormons, roman catholics out there? Are they not attached to their partner until a regular sexual encounter?

On the other hand, I do believe a positive sex live may create a stronger attachment due to openness to discussion and relate to anything else.

 

[AnnaG]

What is attachment?

From Merriam-Webster:

Pronunciation: \ə-ˈtach-mənt\
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
1 : a seizure by legal process; also : the writ or precept commanding such seizure
2 a : the state of being personally attached : fidelity <attachment to a cause> b : affectionate regard <a deep attachment to nature>
3 : a device attached to a machine or implement
4 : the physical connection by which one thing is attached to another
5 : the process of physically attaching

Why do we have such tremendous need for attachment?

Because we are a social animal and being social helps when we want to procreate, would be one reason.

What are the implications of attachment?

Pretty much anything imaginable concerning society and relationships between individuals.

Why is one attached?

I am attached to my chair because of gravity. If I stand up I am attached by gravity to the floor. Why are people attached to other people, you mean? There's a variety of reasons; friendship, love, familial, commercial, etc. reasons.

When you are attached to anything, there is always fear in it, fear of losing it. There is always a sense of insecurity. Observe it for yourself. There is always a sense of separation. I am attached to my wife. I am attached to her because she gives me pleasure sexually, gives me pleasure as a companion; you know all this. So I am attached to her, which means I am jealous, frightened. Where there is jealousy, there is hatred.

Others have different relationships. I am not jealous of Les nor is he of me. We trust each other.

And is attachment love?

It can be.

I think that is one point to note in our relationships.

That we are attached to others? I think people pretty much take it for granted that they are attached in some way or other to others.