The Inner Narrative

[jimmoyer]

Everyone has an inner story line.

An unspoken presumption we have of ourselves.

A lot of people don't even know they have an ongoing inner narrative.

That's why repeating patterns occur in our lives.


For example:
Do you know of people who always contradict you and contradict everyone else if they are presented an idea they have not thought of themselves ? Doesn't their inner story line about themselves dictate that they themselves are the teacher, the one who comes up with the new idea ? They cannot hear any suggestion or change from someone else. It must come from themselves.

If the thought or change or new idea comes from someone else, they look at you, at first not comprehending, and then forcing a mis-interpretation or misunderstanding of your point so that the inner story line of their lives does not change.


How about another example:
If your dream is not realized then you are ordinary, a failure, a thing not to be loved or liked.
Know anyone like that ? They would be surprised if you asked them, "What happened to you?" This kind of question leads them to meet for the first time their inner narrative, their unspoken and unchallenged presumption.

 

[darkbeaver]

:lol::-(8O:x:lol: not me Jim

 

[jimmoyer]

You're just another "tabula rasa" rascal.

 

[karrie]

That's an interesting way of viewing personality. A lot of people don't really understand their own makeup. And those who do, would likely doubt their own interpretation of themselves if you asked them what it is about themselves that brings about recurring patterns like you talk about.

 

[jimmoyer]

Inner narratives are often heavily tied to ego.

Meaning:

You can't be happy unless or until this or that happens.

The story of your life must follow this script you set for yourself. If it does not follow
that script, that inner narrative, then something is wrong. The scene before you does not
compute. You are very liable at that moment to misunderstand or misinterpret.

If your inner storyline says that person "A" can never explain or teach you because they are dumb, then you will most likely miss that moment when they can teach you something.

 

[Unforgiven]

Inner narratives are often heavily tied to ego.

If your inner storyline says that person "A" can never explain or teach you because they are dumb, then you will most likely miss that moment when they can teach you something.

I wonder if that is tied in some way to the moment? In that the type of mood someone is in at that particular moment has some influence, perhaps on a subconscious level, of whether or not they will pick up on what is being put down. Even if it is posed by some on thought of as inferior.

Interesting concept to consider and reflect upon Jim. :smile:

 

[karrie]

If your inner storyline says that person "A" can never explain or teach you because they are dumb, then you will most likely miss that moment when they can teach you something.

I have a friend who fits your example perfectly. She's told herself for so long that she will marry someone with a similar career path to hers, that she can't see the possible men who exist outside of her field.

 

[darkbeaver]

A books cover will often prevent the potential reader from learning, like uncle Jim says, we are all victims of our own judgement ain't we. Haha I is.haha:smile:

 

[MikeyDB]

As long as the inner narative is a monologue then you'll be considered OK but as soon as you start asking yourself questions and then answer them....

Merry Christmas Jim..

 

[jimmoyer]

I wonder if that is tied in some way to the moment? ------Asks Unforgiven

The Inner Narrative is a separate entity. It of course influences the moment, and vice versa the moment impinges on the Inner Narrative, my grasshopper.

Glib answer of me. But let's sidestep your question for a moment and look at our unspoken and unchallenged assumptions about ourselves, our inner story line.

Last Sunday night was a B-grade Made For TV movie on ABC.
In it was a 40something year old at his wit's end and raises a 38 to his temple, after being not invited to his daughter's wedding, after a couple years separation from the wife, after many incidents spawned by his alchoholism and after just walking away from a car accident.

Notice the Inner Narrative gets tripped up by the moment, by an incident.

In this case the inner narrative was triggered by both the non-invite to the daughters wedding compounded by just being in a car accident.

The inner narrative is just one accident away, so to speak.

This man's inner narrative : YOU'RE A LOSER IF YOU HAVE AN ORDINARY JOB.
Also, all losers are to receive no mercy, no love, no friendship AND no respect.

The inner narrative is similar to the idea : If only this and that happens can you ever be allowed to be happy. The corrolary to the Inner Narrative is: You will misunderstand and misinterpret and deny all that confronts you if life does not correspond to your inner story line script.

This man had an ordinary job.

A lot of teenagers coming of age and facing a graduation fear this. A lot of them have this innner narrative.

 

[Nuggler]

Everyone "should" :roll:8O be able to learn "something" from everyone they meet, and every situation they're in.

Either that, or yer a dumb ****, and stay the hell away from me, cause yer probably a boring dick too.............."Confusedus Say".............gotta be.

Ya think?

:read2:I hate this book. Taking forever to finish it. S'got all this inner narritive sh!t in it. Christ, what a load a crap........(little smiley)

 

[hermite]

Wow. I'm so glad I found this site. Great and thought-inspiring points there, everyone. Thanks for thinking and saying.

 

[karrie]

Everyone "should" :roll:8O be able to learn "something" from everyone they meet, and every situation they're in.

I took away a lovely lesson from a (possibly drunken) mentally handicapped man who fell over his bike in an intersection the other day while I was walking with a friend and my kids. Erik and I got him picked up (he kind of fell so that he was tangled in his bike and couldn't move), dusted him off, and helped him to the curb. He turned and looked at us, his face split into a gigantic grin and he said, "all you can do is smile once you're through it!" And off he went.

I wonder just how many people would have ignored him and left him floundering in the street on his own, or hurried off without hearing what he had to say, or just dismissed it as idiotic rambling.

 

[jimmoyer]

A lot of teenagers coming of age and facing a graduation fear this. A lot of them have this innner narrative.


How many teenagers do you believe have this inner narrative :

If I graduate and don't get to college to learn a skill for an interesting job then I will become ordinary and boring just like all the people I scoff at. Therefore I will be a loser, to be shown no mercy, no love, no respect, no admiration.

And if I'm not to be admired, then I will not be happy.

You wonder about the depression that hits all the kids. Might be good. Might be bad.

 

[MikeyDB]

Gosh Jim you raise a lot of really interesting questions but I don't think that the inner narrative is the where the focus should be....

 

[darkbeaver]

A lot of teenagers coming of age and facing a graduation fear this. A lot of them have this innner narrative.


How many teenagers do you believe have this inner narrative :

If I graduate and don't get to college to learn a skill for an interesting job then I will become ordinary and boring just like all the people I scoff at. Therefore I will be a loser, to be shown no mercy, no love, no respect, no admiration.

And if I'm not to be admired, then I will not be happy.

You wonder about the depression that hits all the kids. Might be good. Might be bad.

That's a terrible inner narrative to have Jim. I mean I know teens have insecurity but are these the perverse thoughts that prevade the minds of American youth? If they are I would hope that it is not something instilled by thier parents, or is it? At that age twenty-five years ago I was invinceable and full of piss and vinigar. Have things become so bad that self-esteem is a commodity to be picked off the shelf? That's a horrible state of affairs.:-(

 

[MikeyDB]

We have created a perspective among children born out of our ambitions to re-make the world in the delusion we've come to believe. Respect is earned not a defacto element of human interaction. Self-esteem is used by the merchantile mentality to tell youngsters how they should look...what's expected from them out of the pages of fashion magazines and through movies and television. We support individual rights up to the point where those individual rights conflict with prejudices we inculcate in our children against those who aren't "beautiful" or who are "fat" or who belong to some ethnic minority that's "deserving" of our contempt and our fear....

That inner narrative doesn't spontaneously arise in the minds of children or anyone else...it is product of far much more than personal anxieties about peer acceptance and "fitting-in". Unless we take the time to share other people's self-view and we can encourage openness and tolerance, that narrative becomes the gestalt upon which the horrors of history wait to be repeated...

 

[jimmoyer]

Dark Beaver posted:
That's a terrible inner narrative to have Jim. I mean I know teens have insecurity but are these the perverse thoughts that prevade the minds of American youth? If they are I would hope that it is not something instilled by thier parents, or is it? At that age twenty-five years ago I was invinceable and full of piss and vinigar. Have things become so bad that self-esteem is a commodity to be picked off the shelf? That's a horrible state of affairs.
--------------------------------posted by Darkbeaver-----------------------------------------------------


Actually, I had that similar inner narrative right up to my 30th birthday, which is why my 30th birthday was the worst ever.

We all accumulate certain benchmarks we hope to achieve by a certain age. If not achieved, then gloom entails.

 

[karrie]

You wonder about the depression that hits all the kids. Might be good. Might be bad.

Is that an inner narrative or brain washing?

 

[darkbeaver]

I'm grateful my kids didn't get hurt like that. I always encouraged them to get out and see the world before they committed themselves to the grind, two of the three graduated from highschool and took of for a few years to various parts of the world, I always believed that at eighteen or nineteen most young prople didn't really know enough about the world to make an informed decision about carreers, and that a little experience would serve them well.
What pressure kids must be under these days from the machine! It isn't fair and it isn't right. Christ look what's considered normal for a univercity student, they're saddled with debt up to and exceeding a hundred thousand dollars before they even get a degree or a trade, they've been made to sell thier futures and the futures of thier children. Attached to the foul breast of the stinking bankers before they have a chance to say no.Fornicate everyone of the slimey basturds.