Then don't tell us how it is, because "You know because you raised 4 girls" because you don't.
Sorry that approach isn't working, I know lots about boys, for years, had experiences with boys, have grandsons, yadda yadda, shallow arguement.
Apparently you never clued into the point I was making. Anybody can deal with someone else's kids, grandsons, and the sort for a short period of time.... when they get completely out of line, it's ok, because you'll be passing them back to their parents soon enough.
Now deal with them day in and day out from the moment they're born, to when they hit 18 years of age and beyond..... let them screw with your head, let them test your authority and rules, let them gradually break them all and learn your own limitations you set yourself to and see what happens...... the only limitations boys have are when we don't want to do something..... I don't want my ass smacked, so I won't do such and such to avoid that.
You can speak of your experience, not mine.
Sucks doesn't it? Cuz that's exactly what you're doing when you try and tell me what boys go through when they're spanked/smacked...... you're not one, so how the hell do you know?
That's like me trying to dictate to you how it feels to give birth. I don't know.
Well that would definitely avoid having to 'hit' you lol
Hmmm..... I think if I tried hard enough I might get a couple of pistol whips out of ya before you shot me ;-)
Putting kids in corners is an old fashioned move, and it is ridiculous, my kids would have done the same thing as you did in that situation.
Fair enough, but you see how many alternatives will not work, or have very little chance of working.
Seems like they were just trying to get rid of you, that's no punishment at all.
...
Fair enough, I imagine my parents wouldn't mind a few moments away from the kids once in a while..... I don't blame them if that was the case.
Right, totally agree with that analogy.
So what other alternative suggestions do you believe would work without resorting to physical?
I survived, I still talk to my parents.... they no longer hit me by the way..... the system technically worked. I am employed, creative, free thinking, don't drink, and I contribute to scoeity..... I smoke weed, but hey, you can't win them all.
I think that is the point they made, it does allow you to physically handle a child in
a dangerous situation, thats only sensible, and I'm sure you will not have to hit your
children, I can see that you don't want to, and I can see that you have the intelligence
to seek other methods that work. Good luck with that.
Well, time will only tell.
Of course one thing I'll be telling them often is that if they don't want to live in my house with my rules, then they can always live with a foster family or be given up for adoption and see if their lives are any better..... I'm sure the kids in class will treat them lovely knowing they don't have real parents who love them, etc.
Yeah I know, harsh, evil and puts a negative image on those who honestly want to help children who have no parents, but the end result is the same..... they'll straighten up and fly straight or they're gone.
Of course, if they decided to call my bluff about sending them to a foster family, I'll just pack up all their stuff, put them in the car, tell them that's what I'm doing, only to drop them off to military school..... hey, parents do it with Disney Land, only to take them to the dentist :lol:
If you read my posts you know that I said that I did physically handle my kids, but I
never 'hit' them, ever. I did restrain them, occasionally, not often, and make them
sit and face me while I explain the situation, while still angry, but no hitting, or
bruising, or scaring, but definitely tough parenting, and keeping respect by them.
Fair enough, but as an honest question, have you had to deal with a child who was physically violent and wouldn't cool down?
The law is to protect kids from parents who hit them often and the child has no way out, and the parent is protected behind closed doors, children need that, as there
are too many parents who think they 'own' their kids and can do whatever they want
to them. Sorry, not true, and I'm glad.
I understand, and I also grew up with kids with those types of parents.... but current laws already cover this.
You are being far too general, each situation should be judged on its own merit.
Indeed it should... but you're also generalizing towards those who will use physical punishment.... each situation should be judged on it's own merrit. Is this parent causing too much pain and suffering on their child for something trivial and is considdered assault? Or did this parent's physical actions prevent this child from doing something very stupid that they have yet to fully understand the consequences of?
It's usually the parent who is out of control, hitting the kid in the frenzy of anger,
if seen it often, and with belts that leave welts and bruises. Poor parent my ass.
See that's the other problem..... you have the courts setting laws and rules for how to parent one's child, they're restricted by what they can do for dicipline for their kid, as a previous example, the courts just overturned a parent's grounding of their daughter from a friggin trip of all things, because they thought it was too harsh....... And yet, when you no longer have any rights as a parent to actually parent your kids and give them some sort of authoritive struture in their lives, they'll start doing all these bad things and get out of control..... and then it's still the parent's fault because they're so out of control and didn't give them any authoritive structure they respected or at the very least, feared.
I believe the exact opposite, many of those kids are ignored, beaten, some of them have been sexually abused, and many of them are pampered and given too much
money, it takes all sorts of poor parenting to wreck a child.
Granted, but all those things you just listed (Except the sexual abuse) can easily be related back to the children being able to walk all over their parents. They always get what they want, they get too much money, they can hang out with anybody they want, they can start having sex in jr high..... all because they'll threaten their parents that if they lay a hand on them or if they do anything to them, they'll call the cops and press charges, so parents are scared of their own kids now, they're afraid of being labeled a bad mother or a bad father in their community, they're afraid they'll goto jail for only doing what they thought was right, and time and time again I hear in the news here in the Halifax area, of some youth beating some other kid up for their money, or ganging up on another because they're different, or robbing corner stores, or swarmming old ladies in the Commons, beating them with metal table legs....... and then they're caught, and the parents are on the news saying they're glad the system caught them, because they were at their wits end, their child never listened to them, attacked them, and they were simply afraid of doing anything because they'd be arrested themselves.
The name calling you are doing just proves that you know no other way to balance
this discussion.
What name calling? Calling your 4 daughters "Princesses?" I didn't think that'd be considdered name calling.... but then again, this politically correct world has gone down the crapper as of late, so it doesn't suprise me.
I called them little princesses in comparison to my own past..... I was a hellion..... you've seen me comment about myself in the past just in this thread alone and myself calling myself far worse then princess (Pr*ck, Asshole, etc.) ..... don't take it so personally. Your children were respectful enough to follow your structure of discipline in a manner where you didn't feel physical punishment was required..... to me, that's pretty
"Angellic" if you don't like
"Princess."
I'm sure they're perfectly fine ladies.
The last I checked I no relative of the royal family, so my kids are
not princesses.
Ok.... shall I think of another name to identify them as? Heck I'm technically from Irish royalty from centuries past..... yet I still call myself an asshole..... in fact, I'm a Royal Asshole.
People gotta lighten up.
Many parents use corporal punishment on a steady basis, it's their lifestyle.
Then those are the people that require stricter rules and guildlines.... but an out right ban on the practice due to other's who abuse the system isn't the answer.
The ones who abuse are doing just that, what they think is the proper measures.
Then enforce the already existing laws to protect those kids from those parents.... spanking a child for being way out of line is not abuse.... closed fist punching and causing long term physical harm is not acceptable and to me that is abuse.
I'll just say the same as I said to that last guy, there is a huge spectrum, my points
are directed to those who live their lives constantly smacking and hitting their
children, and then hitting their teenagers, a perfect way to teach your kids to
do the same to their friends and later their own children.
If my friends started hitting me around, not only would they be in a pool of blood, but they wouldn't be much of a friend.
But as it goes for the long term spectrum of how it's passed down through family, I guess my dad got it a lot worse from my grandfather then I did from my dad (Although it's hard to believe.... he's such a friendly and peaceful fella.... of course he's no longer raising kids, so that could be a part of it.) But I remember when I was younger I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't do to my kids what was done to me.... but that still doesn't mean I might not have to raise my hand to them once in a while.
The Irish rage grows strong in my family, and I know my kids, much like my siblings and myself, will have a hard time keeping it under control as I have gradually learned how to do.
I say again, 'lazy' as they have no interest in learning a better method, 'controlling' as they like to show their child how powerful they are, and 'stupid' cause they haven't
grown with the times, as we have learned so much through the years, and those
types of parents 'just' didn't bother, or as I said before they came from the same kind
of homes. I 'had' one significant other of my daughter's, who brought out the belt 'once', as he had done that with his older son, and tried to do that with my grandson, sorry, she
took one look at that belt, and made him realize that he would 'never' ever hit their
son with it, it never came out again. He just thought it was a 'normal' way to show 'him' who is the boss. Forget that.
Well I have an issue with step parents getting physical with the children that are not their own..... and chances are if I had a step father when I was younger attempting to do that to me, he'd be in for one hell of a fight.... but when it came to my own family, respect was given where it was due, I owe them my life for bringing me into the world, and no, it's got nothing to do with fear instilled in me..... I'll explain below.
I will speak my opinion just as tough as you speak yours, doesn't make me 'allmighty' or anything else you might like to call me, it is 'what I believe', and have found to be true.
Then so be it.
But for a general explaination of my own background and upbringing, I come from an Irish, Roman Catholic, Military and a Father as a School Teacher background..... to say the least, authrotiy structure and dicipline were high priorities in my upbrining.
^ I also attribute this to my ability to accept any and all of the consequences which come from any and all of my actions through my life. I have learned to think things through first, before taking action, and making sure I am willing to accept the outcomes from my actions. I learned to respect my parents and respect my grandparents even more so. I learned to repect my elders, and respect police authority.
I am sure other methods of upbringing can come to similar outcomes in other's lives, but I have no regrets for my life, and I hold nothing against my parents before, now or in the future. What I went through clearly worked to make sure I'm not some raving lunatic on the streets.
