Recent Forum Immigrants Cause Stir
Cousin Spade, November 24, 2008
Immigrant posters from canada.com to the Canadian-Content-Forum homeland have provoked a backlash among CC old timers. “Why can’t these newcomers be more like us!” a CC spokesperson declared. “If they don’t like it here, why’d they come! If I went to their forum, I would adapt to their ways - strange as they are!”
Another CC member observed: “Every wave of immigration here seems to present the same problems. Remember the Viners? They were a consummate pain in the arse! Mind you, the smart ones assimilated, but thank God, the others were deported or went back home when they realized they didn’t fit in.”
A third CC member pointed out that he had been on these pages practically from their formation. “We have a culture here,” he added, “I don’t like having their ways shoved down our throats! You won’t catch me saying ‘Happy Holidays’ instead of “Merry Saturnalia! Merry-Saturnalia believers built these pages!”
“Why one of these posters,” a CC hard liner hissed, “even tried to post a two-word response to one where it was obvious a one-worder was de rigueur. I bet he was posting with a ball cap! And I reckon it was on backwards!”
“How do we even know who these ‘People’ are? Geez, they don’t even use their real names,” another cautioned. “Why they could be terrans! I think Homeforum Security should be notified! Where’s See Sis when we need her?”
A representative from the Mennonite Centre for Newposters said they were aware of the problem and were working 24/7 to calm the situation. “We have workers handling the newcomers and are offering canada.com accent-reduction courses.” He added, “I hope the backlash will be contained, but I can’t make any promises. After all, these immigrant posters are rather pushy!”