WOW Man, sorry to hear that.
I'm not alone. Read the stats:
According to Melissa and Joshua Hall in The Long-Term Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse: Counselling Implications, ‘twenty-eight to 33% of women and 12 to 18% of men were victims of childhood or adolescent sexual abuse (Roland, 2002, as cited in Long, Burnett, & Thomas, 2006).’
‘Survivors of sexual abuse may experience difficulty in establishing interpersonal relationships. Symptoms correlated with childhood sexual abuse may hinder the development and growth of relationships. Common relationship difficulties that survivors may experience are difficulties with trust, fear of intimacy, fear of being different or weird, difficulty establishing interpersonal boundaries, passive behaviors, and getting involved in abusive relationships (Ratican, 1992).’
https://www.counseling.org/docs/dis...ng-term-effects-of-childhood-sexual-abuse.pdf
In the online pdf article Sex Addiction on the Internet by Mark Griffith (Nottingham Trent University, UK), the author states:
‘It is hard to establish the extent of sex addiction although estimates range from 3-6% of the population (Carnes, 1999). Further, research indicates a high correlation between childhood abuse and sexual addiction in adulthood, and it is very common for sex addicts to have experienced high levels of emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse. Socio-demographic characteristics are skewed by those who turn up for treatment in specialist clinics or self-help groups such as Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA), and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA). It appears to be mostly male with an increasing number of females. However, sex addictions appear to come from all races, classes and sexual orientations.’
He goes on to state:
‘Sex addiction appears to have recognizable behaviour patterns (Carnes, 1999). This involves acting out a pattern of out of control sexual behaviour (e.g. compulsive masturbation, persistent indulging in pornography, having constant affairs, etc.) in which severe mood changes relate to sexual activity. The sex addict experiences severe consequences due to sexual behaviour and an inability to stop despite these adverse consequences. These consequences can include loss of partner or spouse, severe marital or relationship problems, loss of career opportunities, unwanted pregnancies, abortions, suicidal obsession, suicide attempts, exposure to sexually transmitted diseases, and legal risks from nuisance offences to rape. Sex addicts gradually increase the amount of sexual activity because the current level of activity is no longer sufficiently satisfying (i.e. they build up tolerance). As tolerance develops, individuals may find themselves seeking out more unusual sexual experiences, and more graphic pornography. These behaviour patterns are only indicative and do not preclude other signs that may be indicative of sex addiction.’
http://www.janushead.org/7-1/griffiths.pdf
Studies suggest not only that substance and gambling addiction afflict prostituted persons, but that sex addiction itself might permeate the sex industry through not only clients but sellers too:
‘It is argued that legalized brothels or other "controlled" prostitution establishments "protect" women through enforceable condom policies. In one of CATW's studies, U.S. women in prostitution interviewed reported the following: 47% stated that men expected sex without a condom; 73% reported that men offered to pay more for sex without a condom; 45% of women said they were abused if they insisted that men use condoms. Some women said that certain establishments may have rules that men wear condoms but, in reality, men still try to have sex without them. One woman stated: "It's 'regulation' to wear a condom at the sauna, but negotiable between parties on the side. Most guys expected blow jobs without a condom (Raymond and Hughes: 2001)."’
10 Reasons for Not Legalizing Prostitution | Vancouver Rape Relief & Women's Shelter
According to Paul Gertler, Manisha Shah, and Stefano M. Bertozzi on page 24 of Risky Business: The Market for Unprotected Commercial Sex (2003):
‘We find that sex workers in Mexico are responding rationally to financial incentives. There is strong evidence that sex workers are willing to assume the risks associated with providing unprotected sex for a 23 percent higher price. This premium increased to 46 percent if the sex worker was considered very attractive, a clear indication of her bargaining power. However, clients who preferred condom use paid an 8 percent premium to use condoms and sex workers who did not want to use condoms had to reduce the price by 20 percent to compensate clients for taking the risk.’
http://manishashah.bol.ucla.edu/papers/shah_JPE.pdf
Both buyers and sellers who know the health and pregnancy risks of unprotected sex with anonymous partners in random hook-ups offer a premium or a discount to actively seek it or even rape for it. This suggests not ignorance but rather compulsive behaviour and thus an indicator of a possible behavioural addiction. From a mental-health perspective, the relationship between a buyer and a seller is less one between two ‘consenting’ adults and more one comparable to two heroin addicts getting together to share needles to drown the pain of their trauma. While two heroin addicts may ‘consent’ to sharing needles, a behavioural addiction coerces them into that ‘consent.’ Prostitution can serve as a gateway drug leading to escalation to ever more violent behaviour for both the buyer and the seller. I don’t see how two trauma survivors getting together to have anonymous emotionally-detached sex benefits either of them.
‘Half of all women in Canada have experienced at least one incident of physical or sexual violence since the age of 16.’
http://canadianwomen.org/facts-about-violence
Furthermore, sexual violence against women can contribute to a trans-generational and inter-sexual cycle of violence: ‘A total of 43 percent of high school boys and young college men reported they had an unwanted sexual experience and of those, 95 percent said a female acquaintance was the aggressor, according to a study published online in the APA journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity®.’
http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2014/03/coerced-sex.aspx
live on cbc the ontario tories explaining why they shit canned this guy on a couple of allegations
Again, I have no qualms about:
1. a person telling me that he or she has been abused.
2. a person asking for help for abuse.
3. a person filing a criminal complaint against an attacker.
I'm in two minds about a person identifying his or her attacker to me without being willing to then make a criminal complaint against the alleged attacker. He or she might be telling the truth, I can empathize, I can understand that the person might fear going to court, I might be willing to help, but how can I judge the alleged attacker without proof?
I totally oppose a person identifying their attacker except in vague terms that don't identify a particular person in the court of public opinion and then refuse to make a criminal complaint. Not because the person is lying necessarily, but just because making such an accusation is bloody serious and not to be taken lightly.
