YOU honour them! The bastard molested me and she allowed it........YOU honour them!
You make a very good point.
Cases like these are the most difficult trial for the children and they need help through prayer. Something similar occured in my own family, but the girl placed it aside even though the torment still lingered, and now she expresses longing for her elderly father who passed on many years ago. In her charitable way I was taken in admiration of her when out of the blue she requested a mass be said for him and her mother; "...and mother" caught my attention. It occured to me that even though she could justifiably disconnect from him, she still saw them as one. This seemingly weak woman displayed a remarkable strength and will to remain in relation with her father, and it meant so much for her even though she had nothing to lose by just forgetting about him, even to keep it secret from her younger sibling males who would have immediatlely have direspected him. that is not to say that on occasion she doesn't display some bitterness, but now it is fleeting and she can quickly collect herself.
It is a misconception that there is no effect to the male members of the family in such a case. As role model the males find theselves shattered, and left without a foundation. All the mores they have been taught is taken in review and restudied. The effects are disasterous.
I myself was shocked when one day she confided in me after he had passed on, and that went to a feeling of coldness for a while. Then I came to reflect on the good he did, and that he was always a good provider and had many good traits. I can honestly say I miss him and would welcome him with open arms.
Personally, I don't know how victims can obtain consolation in such a disaster, but I imagine perserverance and giving oneself a timeout to reflect and bringing the problem to the Blessed Virgin through the Rosary is guaranteed to assist one greatly.
AndyF