Wow, you've got your girlie bits in a bind.
If you ask a person their name, they give it, and you refer to them by it, then there's no issue. What the issue is, for trans people, is people who decide "No, your name isn't that, it's this" and "this" is the name they used to go by before their transition.
Kind'a like someone calling you Bob when your name was Robert; you don't go by Bob, but the other person decided to call you Bob anyway. And you would be AMAZED how many people do get pissed by things like that. I get it a lot registering people to see the emerg Doctor.
Same goes with pronoun use; if someone says that they go by whatever pronoun, it's only respectful to go by that, because you don't know what it should be. Some people care, some don't. And if a person is, say, gender fluid, ace, nonbinary or whatever, they may not have a specific gender, hence the 'they/them'.
That said yeah, when it starts going into xe/xer it's annoying as shit, but whatever, why does it matter?
Just be respectful.
And more people really should do that. If it's an honest mistake - and even I've misgendered a trans person before so it's damned easy, especially if they're in early transition - usually trans people are pretty lenient about it. It's the assholes who misgender on purpose and continually even after asked not to, that are the issue. And frustration.
Again, more people should be like that.
Depends what you mean by jumping through hoops: if it's honest mistakes that when corrected you respect, there shouldn't be issues.
That said, give the trans person a bit of a break because you don't know the last time they encountered someone who 'made a mistake', only that person DIDN'T take it well and got all butthurt, caused issues or maybe even beat the shit out of the person. A trans person getting pissed at mistakes likely is reacting out of a trauma response.
Keep that in mind and you'll be fine.
And yet people don't get that's all that trans people are asking for.
They're asking for the right NOT to be abused.
They're asking for the right NOT to get beat up just because they're trans women in a dress.
They're asking NOT to be kicked out of a place because someone thinks they're a man, when they're not, or a woman, when they're not (though the latter happens less frequently).
They're asking NOT to be fired because they're trans.
They're asking NOT to have housing denied to them for being trans (yes, that is happening).
They're asking just for the right to fucking exist, which people want to deny them (calling for their annihilation, conversion therapy, denial, repression; all that pushes trans people to not exist).
Nah dude.
View attachment 26801
The Peacock himself.
There can be only one.