Sneak preview of al jazeera america’s fall lineup

[TeddyBallgame]

Already the program development folks at the new, improved and expanded Al Jazeera America are hard at work creating an exciting fall lineup of innovative television shows intended to keep those viewers who used to watch Al Gore’s Current TV and capture other viewers bored with typical TV fare.

So drawing upon my own sources and those of blogger Lactose, here is a sneak preview of Al Jazeera America’s fall lineup. After you review it I have no doubt that you, like me, will be rushing to the phone sometime today to upgrade your satellite package.

Children’s Shows will include Dora the Exploder, Spongebomb Squarepants and, Phineas and C4

Game Shows feature Family Intifada, Wheel of Torture and, Final Jeopardy for Jews and Other Infidels

Reality Shows include Flight School, No Survivor, The Great Satan’s Idol, My Big Fat Gay Gypsy Stoning, The Biggest Honor Killing Loser and, Master Dirty Bomb Maker.

Situation Comedies will feature The Really Big Bang Theory, How I Stoned Your Mother and, Emergency Female Circumcision Ward

But it is the Prime Time Stuff of which Al Jazeera America is especially proud!

Influenced by the hit US cable drama show “Bomb Girls” comes “Suicide Bomb Boys and Girls” which takes you behind the scenes as young boys and girls, some of whom are not even mentally handicapped, are recruited, brainwashed, outfitted with hidden explosive devices while being trained and prepared to access areas populated by Infidels and are then sent to blow themselves and said Infidels up. Hidden cameras will make you feel part of the action as these brave young warriors for Islam detonate their explosives and thereby kill the Infidels and journey to Paradise.

“The Osama O’Reilly Factor” is patterned after the top rated cable news show “The O’Reilly Factor” and features segments like Infidel or Islamist reminiscent of Pinhead or Patriot and, Sharia Law and You which is much like Bill O’Reilly’s legal panel segment except that the topics and the verdicts reflect Sharia Law instead of US law and the two panelists are imams instead of young female lawyers with big boobs and low cut dresses.

- “All In the Farsi Family” with Pakistani Muslim Archie Mohammed, his four wives, his daughter and his Jewish son in law “Porkhead” will take you back to the Archie Bunker and All In The Family days and actually several centuries before that. Hilarity ensues as Archie plots the honor killing of his daughter for marrying Porkhead and gets into various other high jinks and humorous situations.

- Eat your heart out, Donald Trump (in the unlikely event that you even have a heart)! “The Apprentice Terrorist” in which 16 aspiring young Islamist terrorists compete under the ever watchful eye of Al Qaeda executives to win a senior management position in the Al Qaeda terrorist organization features more fireworks and tension and high stakes drama than your show could ever hope to have.

- Finally, there is “The Five Honeymooners” featuring Mohammed Al Shaike Gleason and his four wives living on five single person welfare cheques, Obama food stamps, and various other government handouts in the same walk up Brooklyn apartment as the original “Honeymooners “. Hilarity ensues as the happy sextet experiences life in Brooklyn and tries various con games and subterfuges to purloin as much money as possible from the hard working tax payers in their midst

 

[petros]

You're just ****ing hilarious.

 

[Spade]

He's mensa rating again. The trouble with Teddy is that he thinks he's clever, but he is dead solid stupid.

 

[earth_as_one]

Teddy Ballgame has obviously never watched Al Jazeera, because all he seems to know appears to come from cable news BS and right wing hate sites.

Al Jazeera comes from Doha Qatar.
Al Jazeera - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The Emir of Qatar approved Al Jazeera's launch in 1996. The reporters and editorial staff are mostly former BBC people. The Emir recognizes freedom of the press and allows Al Jazeera the freedom to broadcast as they please as long as they stick to defined journalistic standards. (unlike our news which abandoned journalistic stands decades ago)
Journalism ethics and standards - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Al Jazeera's format is similar to the BBC and on many issues has the same editorial slant. Their world news is actually world news like the BBC and unlike American News which only considers international news to be news worthy if it has to do with the US or someone the US hates. For example, Al Jazeera does report who won national elections in Uruguay or the death and destruction resulting from a typhoon hitting Bangladesh. They also tend to cover news in depth, rather than a short but superficial summary. their coverage of the riots in Egypt were second to none. Their reporters can go places and talk to people that are inaccessible to western news reporters can't. As a result in certain situations their news is more complete and more accurate.

Al Jazeera does have a different slant on Israel than American, Canadian or British news. The BBC and the CBC are only a hair less pro-Israeli death and destruction and screw the Palestinian terrorists than US cable news. On this issue our news tells us mostly blatant lies and deliberate omissions, which become obvious if you watch Al Jazeera. On this issue, Al Jazeera is far more objective than any western news source. BTW, Al Jazeera interviews both Israelis and Palestinians. When was the last time a Palestinian leader was given a chance to present their viewpoint on Fox News??? As far as I know that's never happened. CBC and BBC will interview moderate Palestinians. But Al Jazeera will interview anyone, let them say pretty much anything and then switch to the other side and let them say their piece. You never get point/counter-point on issues related to Israel. All we ever get from the CBC and US Cable News is an Israeli version of events and point of view, which explains why so many Canadians only know the Israeli viewpoint and know diddly-squat about who Palestinians are and what their beef is with Israel. As a result, Canadians often complain this conflict is complicated and confusing. No doubt it appears to get that way when our news leaves out so much information and lies to us. the conflict isn't really that complicated when you realize that its about ethnic cleansing and screwing over the non-Jews who had the misfortune of living on land Zionists believe G-d gave to Jews. If our news ever reported the complete truth about this conflict, reporters and editors would be fired. But you can get this information from Al Jazeera.

 

[petros]

Teddy Ballgame has obviously never watched Al Jazeera, because all he seems to know appears to come from cable news BS and right wing hate sites.

They aren't hate sites. They are fan sites for the sport known as Spastics.

 

[L Gilbert]

Already the program development folks at the new, improved and expanded Al Jazeera America are hard at work creating an exciting fall lineup of innovative television shows intended to keep those viewers who used to watch Al Gore’s Current TV and capture other viewers bored with typical TV fare.

So drawing upon my own sources and those of blogger Lactose, here is a sneak preview of Al Jazeera America’s fall lineup. After you review it I have no doubt that you, like me, will be rushing to the phone sometime today to upgrade your satellite package.

Children’s Shows will include Dora the Exploder, Spongebomb Squarepants and, Phineas and C4

Game Shows feature Family Intifada, Wheel of Torture and, Final Jeopardy for Jews and Other Infidels

Reality Shows include Flight School, No Survivor, The Great Satan’s Idol, My Big Fat Gay Gypsy Stoning, The Biggest Honor Killing Loser and, Master Dirty Bomb Maker.

Situation Comedies will feature The Really Big Bang Theory, How I Stoned Your Mother and, Emergency Female Circumcision Ward

But it is the Prime Time Stuff of which Al Jazeera America is especially proud!

Influenced by the hit US cable drama show “Bomb Girls” comes “Suicide Bomb Boys and Girls” which takes you behind the scenes as young boys and girls, some of whom are not even mentally handicapped, are recruited, brainwashed, outfitted with hidden explosive devices while being trained and prepared to access areas populated by Infidels and are then sent to blow themselves and said Infidels up. Hidden cameras will make you feel part of the action as these brave young warriors for Islam detonate their explosives and thereby kill the Infidels and journey to Paradise.

“The Osama O’Reilly Factor” is patterned after the top rated cable news show “The O’Reilly Factor” and features segments like Infidel or Islamist reminiscent of Pinhead or Patriot and, Sharia Law and You which is much like Bill O’Reilly’s legal panel segment except that the topics and the verdicts reflect Sharia Law instead of US law and the two panelists are imams instead of young female lawyers with big boobs and low cut dresses.

- “All In the Farsi Family” with Pakistani Muslim Archie Mohammed, his four wives, his daughter and his Jewish son in law “Porkhead” will take you back to the Archie Bunker and All In The Family days and actually several centuries before that. Hilarity ensues as Archie plots the honor killing of his daughter for marrying Porkhead and gets into various other high jinks and humorous situations.

- Eat your heart out, Donald Trump (in the unlikely event that you even have a heart)! “The Apprentice Terrorist” in which 16 aspiring young Islamist terrorists compete under the ever watchful eye of Al Qaeda executives to win a senior management position in the Al Qaeda terrorist organization features more fireworks and tension and high stakes drama than your show could ever hope to have.

- Finally, there is “The Five Honeymooners” featuring Mohammed Al Shaike Gleason and his four wives living on five single person welfare cheques, Obama food stamps, and various other government handouts in the same walk up Brooklyn apartment as the original “Honeymooners “. Hilarity ensues as the happy sextet experiences life in Brooklyn and tries various con games and subterfuges to purloin as much money as possible from the hard working tax payers in their midst

Al Jazeera is your typical lamestream news media. Same as CNN, CBC News, etc. AJE - Al Jazeera English

He's mensa rating again. The trouble with Teddy is that he thinks he's clever, but he is dead solid stupid.

More like mensa raVing.

 

[gerryh]

Shouldn't this be in the joke sub forum?

 

[Spade]

There should be a hate sub forum.

 

[55Mercury]

That was fun Tbg but a little more research might be in order.

Farsi is the language spoken by Persians (Iran), and they will bomb your house if you lump them in with Pakis, who speak mostly Urdu, I believe.

Consider yourself edified.

 

[Goober]

There should be a hate sub forum.

Love having a translation ability
Sub-Forum hasse für kleine denkende Menschen

 

[TeddyBallgame]

That was fun Tbg but a little more research might be in order.

Farsi is the language spoken by Persians (Iran), and they will bomb your house if you lump them in with Pakis, who speak mostly Urdu, I believe.

Consider yourself edified.

- 55Mercury ... I shall assume that you are not part of the brainless, humourless, talentless lunatic left wing fringe that overpopulates this board and invariably goes on the attack whenever anyone not to the left of Chavez or Che Guevera`s ghost bothers to post something here because you, albeit with the arrogant tone of the lunatic left here when addressing me, at least acknowledged that the piece was fun which was exactly what I had intended. Since I assume you are not part of the cracked pot cabal of lefty loons here, I shall bother to respond to your post. As to the others who are yapping at my heels, I shall regard them the same way I do dogs$it on the sidewalk by holding my nose, stepping around them and then ignoring them.

- As to doing more research, maybe you should heed your own admonition. True, 60% of Iranians speak Farsi but so do over 2 million Pakistanis including a friend of mine who now lives in Canada and who rejects the extremism and craziness and violence of the failed state of Pakistan and so do millions of others in many other countries.

- The following information will educate you on the fact that Farsi is by no means confined to Iranians:

Persian Language, also known as Farsi, is the most widely spoken member of the Iranian branch of the Indo-Iranian languages, a subfamily of the Indo-European languages. It is the language of Iran (formerly Persia) and is also widely spoken in Afghanistan and, in an archaic form, in Tajikistan and the Pamir Mountain region.


Persian is spoken today primarily in Iran and Afghanistan, but was historically a more widely understood language in an area ranging from the Middle East to India. Significant populations of speakers in other Persian Gulf countries (Bahrain, Iraq, Oman, People's Democratic Republic of Yemen, and the United Arab Emirates), as well as large communities in the USA. Total numbers of speakers is high: over 40 million Farsi speakers (about 60% of Iran's population); over 14 million Dari Persian speakers in Afghanistan (50% of the population according to CIA World FactBook & Britannica); and about 2 million Dari Persian speakers in Pakistan.

 

[L Gilbert]

- 55Mercury ... I shall assume that you are not part of the brainless, humourless, talentless lunatic left wing fringe that overpopulates this board and invariably goes on the attack whenever anyone not to the left of Chavez or Che Guevera`s ghost bothers to post something here because you, albeit with the arrogant tone of the lunatic left here when addressing me, at least acknowledged that the piece was fun which was exactly what I had intended. Since I assume you are not part of the cracked pot cabal of lefty loons here, I shall bother to respond to your post. As to the others who are yapping at my heels, I shall regard them the same way I do dogs$it on the sidewalk by holding my nose, stepping around them and then ignoring them.

That, coming from the brainless, humourless, talentless lunatic right wing fringe.
I do admit that you tend to be quite comical and entertaining even if you are a frothing-at-the-mouth rightwing extremist, Teddy. Must be fun flying around in circles with only one wing, huh?
BTW, I'm speaking from a sane and rational centrist POV, not your equally as loony leftwing extremist POV.

 

[Highball]

My son is a Iraqi war vet and he told the US media (Embedded Photo Journalists" tried to get the Al Jazeera journalists barred from that nation. No one would listen and when the reports were being made by the main stream media TV sources in the US and Al Jazeera clips were also barred. BUT there is a European media portal and those clips did get on screen. They showed what we never were being told. The fighting was bitter and the US losses were far worse than reported. Reminds me of the media game censored by MAC-V in Vietnam. The US military suicide rate in Vietnam never did reported honestly either. The US only allows the media to tell us what they want us to hear and it is their versions only.

 

[55Mercury]

hahaha

Well, I agree, TBg, people should take the time to stoop and scoop!

It's all good, kid. But don't hold your breath waiting for me to follow up your alleged facts because I really don't give a damn. But I was just going by what I had gleaned from other people from that part of the world. Sorry if you're unable to take a back-handed compliment on your attempt to imbue your humour on us without responding in volumes to deflect what may have been perceived as an attack. In future I'll just tip-toe around the emotional eggshells you have surrounded yourself with.

peace - out

 

[TeddyBallgame]

My son is a Iraqi war vet and he told the US media (Embedded Photo Journalists" tried to get the Al Jazeera journalists barred from that nation. No one would listen and when the reports were being made by the main stream media TV sources in the US and Al Jazeera clips were also barred. BUT there is a European media portal and those clips did get on screen. They showed what we never were being told. The fighting was bitter and the US losses were far worse than reported. Reminds me of the media game censored by MAC-V in Vietnam. The US military suicide rate in Vietnam never did reported honestly either. The US only allows the media to tell us what they want us to hear and it is their versions only.

- Highball ... You raise a number of interesting points here, mostly related to the old saw that "the first casualty of war is truth".

- Yes, the folks that own and also those who operate Al Jazeera have a different agenda than the folks who own and operate the US tv networks. Al Jazeera's owners are the dictators of the Arab oil state of Qatar and said dictators want to preserve the dictatorship, preserve the West's dependency on ME oil at high OPEC prices, preserve the domination of Islam in the ME and its expanded influence around the globe and, minimize and seek to eradicate the Western influences in the ME starting with Israel and the US with their strange notions of democratic, secular government and religious and racial tolerance and other Western liberal values. Accordingly, it is in their interest to play down American successes in Iraq and elsewhere and to play up US casualties and defeats or set backs. If one were to believe the religious and racial and other garbage broadcast by Al Jazeera in the ME, one would believe that the Jews and the West in general are responsible for the poverty and suffering and violence in the ME, that Western liberal values and insititions of government and other segments of society are incompatible with a correct interpretation of the Koran and Islam, that Muslims should "wage Islam through the sword", and Israel and its Jewish population are the scourge and oppressors of the ME and must be destroyed, and that the US and its allies are being soundly defeated in Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere.

- So it is understand able that Al Jazeera in the ME would seek to shore up Muslim morale and undermine US morale by falsely inflating US casualty figures and claiming vistories that did not happen.

- Yes, there is some revisionism as well by the US networks because they have a different agenda which obviously includes wanting the US to win any wars in which it is embroiled.

- Some of the naive lefties actually believe that Al Jazeera is simply just another network like all the US and other Western networks even though their interests and therefore their agendas are obviously different and these profound differences inevitably will colour their reporting and editorializing.

- Other people including even some Western citizens such as your son probably understand that Al Jazeera and the US networks have different interests and agendas but prefer for reasons that totally escape me to believe Al Jazeera when it comes to claims of American casualties and other miltary losses.

- But I'm not buying.

- The reason I'm not buying is that while US networks can and do spin some stories and events and stats, there are simply too many competitors and bloggers and politicians and bureaucrats and others in a pluralistic, open and democratic society monitoring them for them to engage in wholesale distortions and lies about casualties or anything else for any period of time. Unfortunately, this is not at all the case with the ME and Al Jazeera which can, for example, give air time to halocaust deniers and to those who claim that "The Jews" kill Palestinian babies and others without any prvocation, etc., etc.

- If you seriously think that were many more US troops slain in Iraq than the roughly 5,000 reported, then give us a more correct figure and on what evidence andéor sources you are basing said figure on.

- As to defeat in Iraq, Bush went against almost all Washington opinion including the opinions of senators such as Reid and Obama with his surge strategy and it worked to turn the tide there. But regrettably the incompetent and inexperienced and poll driven president who succeeded him may yet manage to turn a victory in Iraq for the US and the West into a mid to long term defeat by his glaring failure to negotiate a status of forces agreement there and to maintain a continuing American ground force of at least 10,000 troops in Iraq to help counter Iranian and Al Qaeda influence. Ludicrously, Obama has thousands of troops still in Europe and South Korea and elsewhere but a mere skeleton presence in the country - Iraq - where their presence would best serve to consolidate and preserve US gains in terms of strategic interests and objectives. And now Obama is considering a zero option (i.e. zero troops in Afghanistan after 2014) in the second most militarily significant country in terms of US strategic interests and objectives. But none of this was in play when Bush was president and when Al Jazeera was claiming Al Qaeda and other victories over the US and the coalition of the willing.

- So again my inclination is to regard the stats and reports and assessments coming from the US networks as more reliable than those coming out of Al Jazeera.

 

[Locutus]

Hey, ya gotta give Teddy a nod though for original content folks.

I've said it before that most crap on boards like these is simply regurgitated, re-shared and c&p articles, usually from aggregators and blogs sifted from so-called mainstream sites. He does take the time to think 'em up and write 'em out.

Not to mention that some seem to leave their goats on the front lawn where he can get 'em real easy like. :lol:

 

[L Gilbert]

Hey, ya gotta give Teddy a nod though for original content folks.

I've said it before that most crap on boards like these is simply regurgitated, re-shared and c&p articles, usually from aggregators and blogs sifted from so-called mainstream sites. He does take the time to think 'em up and write 'em out.

Oh, I definitely agree.

Not to mention that some seem to leave their goats on the front lawn where he can get 'em real easy like. :lol:

lol There's a few, yup.

 

[karrie]

Not sure what response is being looked for here. A laugh at the racist jokes. Or a serious discussion about the issue of media bias, what with it being in a political forum and not the joke one.

But, since it's in politics...

Al Jazeera is no worse than any other media outlet. They have their slant and their bias based on who comprises it. I suppose if you foam at the mouth over who comprises it, you're REALLY going to hate the network. If you get the fact that they are people like everyone else, then you're not going to care overly. Just like I don't care overly about Fox, CNN, CBC, BBC, etc. But some people LOATHE some of them, based on their political bent.

Ah well.... methinks it's apt for Loc to drag goats into the whole mess, as it just reads like a bunch of bleating.

 

[TeddyBallgame]

- Locutus ... Thanks much for the kind words!

- I actually wrote this piece for the invitation only board to which I belong because it is composed of about 120 people from around the world who are split roughly 50-50 on the left-right political continuum and who share one critical thing in common which is a sense of humour. Accordingly, when I write this kind of political satire for and on that board I can be assured of relevant feedback and usually of on topic responses that are even funnier than my original piece. So it is well worth it to me to take the 15 or 20 minutes I require to come up with an opening post and see where my fellow board members take it.

- Sadly, it is a different story here. Although you and perhaps a dozen other posters here are rational and informed and incisive about political topics and also have good senses of humour, the bulk of responses are from humourless, wound way too tight lefty loons who spend their time accusing me of racism, sexism, bad breath, halatosis, psoriasis, bad spelling, bad karma, bad nails, etc. and who add nothing whatsoever of value to the thread. This is why I no longer post any original material here unless it is something I have written for my regular board as in this case.

- What is it that causes lefties here like karrie to be so uptight, humourless and nasty when they respond to one of my posts and others like the moronic jlm to become obsessed and to stalk me around the board 24/7? Is it ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care. In any case, why don't they just act like adults and STFU, put me on ignore, and not spoil things for the discerning few who do enjoy my stuff?

 

[earth_as_one]

Wasn't I clear enough for you? Based on what you wrote, I think you don't know much about Al Jazeera.

eao: Teddy Ballgame has obviously never watched Al Jazeera, because all he seems to know appears to come from cable news BS and right wing hate sites.

I accused you of being ignorant of Al Jazeera. That's easily remedied TBG. Educate yourself. Visit Al Jazeera's website and get your own informed opinion.

AJE - Al Jazeera English

For example, while our news is reporting how the French are kicking Al Qaeda's butt in Mali, Al Qaeda has reported that the Mali Rebels have over run some government positions:

Mali rebels advance despite French airstrikes
Al-Qaeda-linked rebels overrun garrison of Diabaly in central Mali after fierce fighting with French and Malian troops.

Rebels have grabbed more territory in Mali, inching closer to the capital despite intensive aerial bombardments by French warplanes, French and Malian authorities have said.

The al-Qaeda-linked rebels overran the garrison village of Diabaly in central Mali, France's defence minister said in Paris on Monday.

Jean-Yves Le Drian said the rebels "took Diabaly after fierce fighting and resistance from the Malian army that couldn't hold them back"'.

The Malian military is in disarray and has let many towns fall with barely a shot fired since the insurgency began almost a year ago in the northwest African nation.

French military forces, who began battling in Mali on Friday, widened their aerial bombing campaign against the rebels occupying northern Mali, launching airstrikes for the first time in central Mali to combat the new threat.

Al Jazeera's correspondent Nazanine Moshiri, reporting from the capital Bamako, said: "There are reports of about 60 fighters being killed thus far while Doctors without Borders say they are very concerned about the lives of civilians in the region."....
Mali rebels advance despite French airstrikes - Africa - Al Jazeera English


Compare that with the FoxNews version of the story:
US military preparing to support French forces in Mali | Fox News

If all you knew was what Fox News reported about that conflict, you wouldn't know much.