Torn

[karrie]

I lie in bed and can feel it
More clearly than anything else in the world
The line down my chest
Where I've been torn open

It screams in my mind
Red bloodied and vivid
Angry harsh and chaotic
Pulsing with pain and anger

Where I've been torn open
Examined and ridiculed
My contents pored over
Ultimately dismissed and discarded

My stomach replaced with ice
My heart a cold and angry stone
My mind a tangled mess of pain
All stitched back together with what remains of a soul

I can see it, this wound
I can feel it daily
It oozes and weeps, dirties me
How can no one else see it?

Where I've been torn open
Children have rested their tired heads
Lovers have placed their hands
And I fear their realization every time

That they'll finally see
A fraud, a shell, a mere puppet
Strings of habit making me dance
And move through the world

As if I'd never been torn open.

 

[Cliffy]

Very true. The reason nobody sees your wound is that they are too caught up in their own pain, hoping that you will heal them. This is the planet of the walking wounded. We have come here to heal ourselves.

 

[karrie]

An interesting analysis Cliffy.

 

[Cliffy]

An interesting analysis Cliffy.

It is only when we can embrace our pain, own it that we can forgive and begin to heal. Pain is holding on to blame. We are the only one who suffers, so first we have to forgive ourselves. The wounds are mostly self inflicted.

 

[SLM]

Very eloquent, Karrie.

I'm struck, as I often am at moments like this, with how many of us, if not all of us, relate so well to another person when these thoughts and feelings are expressed. We get it, we are "together" on it. Yet when we ourselves have these thoughts, we are convinced no one else understands. We feel utterly and completely alone.

The irony of the human condition?

 

[karrie]

I think somehow it is easier to listen to strangers about such things, and talk to strangers about them. The expectation, the dependence, just isn't the same. If my husband were to read what I'd written here, it would make him too sad to discuss it with me, because it would be wrapped up with his experience, his world, his pains, and his perception of me. He'd feel the need to 'solve' it, to heal the imaginary, the intangible, and that is simply too much. You are unencumbered by any impression of who I am, who I should be, unburdened by any need to heal what I show. I think it's why we will readily seek out poetry, for example, written by famous authors, while not wanting to delve into the poetry of those we know.

 

[SLM]

I think somehow it is easier to listen to strangers about such things, and talk to strangers about them. The expectation, the dependence, just isn't the same. If my husband were to read what I'd written here, it would make him too sad to discuss it with me, because it would be wrapped up with his experience, his world, his pains, and his perception of me. He'd feel the need to 'solve' it, to heal the imaginary, the intangible, and that is simply too much. You are unencumbered by any impression of who I am, who I should be, unburdened by any need to heal what I show. I think it's why we will readily seek out poetry, for example, written by famous authors, while not wanting to delve into the poetry of those we know.

Too true. Like the song that means different things to different people.

 

[karrie]

Tapestry

You sigh and stare into me
Whisper what you wish I would be
This patchwork soul
Stitched together with uncertainty

Clumsy fingers untangling
Chaotic thread
I try to piece together
What I think is in your head

But no one can recreate
Images from another's dreams
It all unravels again
Accusations, tears, and screams

I lie on the floor imagining
The cuts to make, pieces to measure
To change this tattered tapestry
Into something someone will treasure

 

[darkbeaver]

I hear that Karrie. That old book I'm reading talks about treasure and what souls have to do to find it.

 

[karrie]

Thanks beaver

 

[shadowshiv]

You should create a book of poetry, Karrie. I imagine that it would sell very well.

 

[karrie]

You should create a book of poetry, Karrie. I imagine that it would sell very well.

Aw, you're sweet shadow

 

[gerryh]

completely agree with shadow.

 

[karrie]

completely agree with shadow.

He's being sweet, you're just flirting

 

[In Between Man]

I lie in bed and can feel it
More clearly than anything else in the world
The line down my chest
Where I've been torn open

It screams in my mind
Red bloodied and vivid
Angry harsh and chaotic
Pulsing with pain and anger

Where I've been torn open
Examined and ridiculed
My contents pored over
Ultimately dismissed and discarded

My stomach replaced with ice
My heart a cold and angry stone
My mind a tangled mess of pain
All stitched back together with what remains of a soul

I can see it, this wound
I can feel it daily
It oozes and weeps, dirties me
How can no one else see it?

Where I've been torn open
Children have rested their tired heads
Lovers have placed their hands
And I fear their realization every time

That they'll finally see
A fraud, a shell, a mere puppet
Strings of habit making me dance
And move through the world

As if I'd never been torn open.

I think your poetry skills are outstanding, but honestly speaking, this poem here is kinda depressing. I respect you too much not to tell you my honest opinion. I'm still giving it an positive post rating though, and I want to hear more!

Tapestry

You sigh and stare into me
Whisper what you wish I would be
This patchwork soul
Stitched together with uncertainty

Clumsy fingers untangling
Chaotic thread
I try to piece together
What I think is in your head

But no one can recreate
Images from another's dreams
It all unravels again
Accusations, tears, and screams

I lie on the floor imagining
The cuts to make, pieces to measure
To change this tattered tapestry
Into something someone will treasure

Ah! I really liked how this one ended. "To change this tattered tapestry
Into something someone will treasure".

Awesome!

 

[karrie]

lol... alley, if Torn made you happy I'd worry about your mental health and possibly call the cops on you.

I'm glad you liked Tapestry.

 

[shadowshiv]

Aw, you're sweet shadow

Thanks Karrie. I expect to see an autographed copy in my mailbox some day.

He's being sweet, you're just flirting

You're so pretty, it's hard not to.

 

[gerryh]

He's being sweet, you're just flirting

Ya....and your point is? How else do I get in your pants if I don't flirt?