Why didn't Quebec go the way that you are advocating?
This is a complex question with complex answers... I don't think I can answer it but here are some thoughts.
The Quebec/Canada issue was extremely polarized in the last 25 years. You either want to seperate or remain in Canada. Or at least, that is how most of the debates go. There isn't much space in the debate for a middle-position in which one advocates a fundamental change in the structure of Canada in order to give Quebec and
all other provinces more autonomy.
In Quebec in particular, the debate has been poisoned by the extreme hardcore seperatists who have got into their minds that Quebec should be on its own
no matter what. These hard-core seperatists are like rocks. There's nothing you can ever to say to convince them that there is some good in Canada. They perceive Canada as the enemy, the invader, the evil oppressor. These people are stuck in an archaic view in which they see Quebec as their tribe and Canada as the tribal enemy. They still live in the time of the Conquest. They're born 250 years too late.
On the other hand, you've got the extreme hardcore federalists who want to stay in Canada
no matter what. They blast Quebec and use fear tactics to scare it away from any attempt to claim more autonomy. They diminish Quebec by claiming it could never survive on its own (which simply isn't true). They demonize Quebec nationalism by accusing it of being racist and intolerant when in reality, they are blindly reacting to the extreme seperatists. They accuse Quebec of tyrannically imposing French on everyone like a dictatorship. That type of federalist usually sees Quebec culture as some lowly sub-culture that ought to disappear.
These people exist. And they sadly tend to polarize the debate to a point where all the middle and moderate positions are eclipsed. And all the moderate people tend to move on either side because of how they are perceived by the other...
Most people in the ROC have grown and learned to see Quebec nationalism as a menace to Canada. This has caused a subtle but widely spread disdain for any attempt by Quebec to get more autonomy. ROCers will accuse Quebec of being selfish and thinking they're more special than anybody else, which isn't true.
In Quebec, the Canadian disdain for Quebec nationalism is met with the opposite reaction. A disdain for the concept of Canadian unity. Federalism is seen as a prison in which Quebec's freedom is hindered, which also isn't true.
All this polarization has lead to resentment and bitterness on both sides. And today we are mostly left with cynicism and exhaustion. The seperatist movement is truly numb at this moment. It's stagnating and not moving forward. But on the other hand, a good majority of Quebecers don't feel any love for Canada at all. They've come to accept the fact that they are part of Canada but simply don't relate to it (ever been in Quebec on Canada day?)
So the push for decentralization has largely been drowned by the loud bickering between seperatists and federalists. There's been arguing for years and years and not a lot of people can see that the solution to this dilemma
can only be found in the synthesis of the two opposites. We must find a way to balance the drive for autonomy with the drive for unity and I believe this can be done by giving more autonomy to the provinces. By doing this, we avoid having provinces fighting for their share in Ottawa. Instead we end up with provinces meeting together to cooperate and share.
The problem I see with Canada is that a lot of time and energy is wasted in sending money to Ottawa
for it to then be sent back to the provinces. Can you see the error? The money should be staying in the provinces in the first place. Money sent to Ottawa should not come back to provinces. Money sent to Ottawa should be spent on issues that are strictly universal to all Canadians (such as defense).
Of course, the devil is in the details and while it's not so simple, we need to clearly establish once and for all what concerns provinces and what concerns Ottawa. For example, health is supposed to be a provincial issue. But perhaps all Canadians would agree that we want a quality and public health care for everyone. In that case, perhaps it would be wiser for the federal government to manage health. That would be a big load off the provinces which could more efficiently focus on education for example.
If we manage to clearly redefine the role of provinces vs. the role of Ottawa, we'll stop wasting so much energy, time and money in doing things at both the provincial and federal level. Canada will then be more efficient and united because as every province builds and sustains its own autonomy, Ottawa will be a place where Canadian resources are really put together for the benefit of all.