Have/will you change(d)?

[triedit]

oh dear! Is that the state of things in Dublin?!

Listen. I think you should move to Canada immediately. Men here cook! Really. Some of them do it badly mind you, but most of them can find their way to not only the kitchen, but the vacuum, and the laundry room! It's a new millenium... tell those Irish lads over there to get with the program already!

Generalization, my dear. Ski is a born Canadian and often asks how long to warm soup in the microwave....

 

[Outta here]

Generalization, my dear. Ski is a born Canadian and often asks how long to warm soup in the microwave....

t'was just a joke....... my dear. I feel fairly confident that SwitSof, whom my post was directed to, will see the attempt at humor there... feeble as some may see it. ;-)

 

[triedit]

Sorry. My sense of humor is lacking. I just discovered that I hurt a friend and can't fix it.

 

[Outta here]

I'm sorry to hear that triedit. Give it some time... forgiveness is part of every true friendship.

 

[Dreadful Nonsense]

Bah, you made me write so long for nothing

At least that means we're cool ay? ;-)

Ha i knew u would say sumptin boud da lenght.

Hey i actually enjoy you as a poster very much.
Yup we is cool.
cheers matey
Dave

 

[Josephine]

Cheers for sharing, talloola.
Do you reckon becoming a wife and then a mother especially is the major factor for the changes happening within yourself?
I can only imagine that your stance is less selfish as you don't get to think about yourself only, unlike the singles.


Were you inspired by somebody else or something you encountered? Or it was more of a drive coming from yourself?

Had a friend who said recently she quit smoking just like that first because it's expensive (well she's from Romania that just joined EU and drove prices to go up), and second because she wants to lead a healthier life. And she said she had no trouble to quit, even physically.
Amazing how your self-drive or a state of mind can change you, ay?


Good on ya, really glad to hear that.
Hmm, if you could go back to time, what kind of big sister you would have expected to have?
As a big sis you can look up to, I suppose.

I wasn't so much inspired by anyone or anything, I just saw how my sisters behaviour was damaging and hurting my family so much. I would watch my mother cry and hear her talk about my sister to her sisters, and I just knew that I had to be the opposite. I had to be everything my sister wasn't. Of course, that's really such a good thing, because you can't be "good" all the time.

I guess I would have wanted a sister who you could trust. One who wouldn't lie or steal from you. One that wouldn't blame you and beat you. One who wouldn't drive around with her sister in a stolen car unbeknownst to her younger sister. But when I think of what my sister endured in her childhood...and of the fact she never received help, I don't know what else I could have expected. But I only understand that now. With all my volunteering and meeting new people and hearing their stories...I realized I had more understanding and compassion for strangers who had similar experiences, and yet I was so unforgiving and cold towards my sister. I feel like I have let go of the hate and the disappointment, and I can actually see my sister now as the woman she is.

 

[Josephine]

I certainly agree with you, as I have to count to ten with all the adults (over 30), who use their
childhood bad experiences as excuses for their present behavior. Bull. Get over it. It becomes
'whining' and they insist on leaving the responsibility for 'their' behavior now, on the shoulders
of their parents. I forgave my parents many years ago, and my attitude changed tremendously,
as I realized they were unhappy and confused and not very smart, and I don't have to be that way.
And, actually their behavior taught me how 'not' to behave, so 'thank you'.
So, I went through major changes as I sought the 'real' me, and the 'good' me, and the happy me.
And, yes, even though many don't change, we do have to accept them for who they are , and hope
they find their way without too much difficulty.

Hey Talloola:

It's funny, because I felt very strongly about people who used their childhood as an excuse for their bad decisions or criminal behaviour. I thought because I had made it out relatively ok, that everyone should have as well. Of course I realize now, that I was a lucky one. I didn't turn to drugs or sex or a life of crime. Now, I can have understanding and compassion for those who weren't as lucky and I can appreciate my own life even more.

 

[#juan]

this has not gone unnoticed.

Oops....

 

[SwitSof]

Generalization, my dear. Ski is a born Canadian and often asks how long to warm soup in the microwave....

IdRatherBeSkiing?
Actually sounds like my brother :lol:

Zan, if it's true that MANY Cannuck blokes can do their way around the kitchen or even just as simple as vacuum and dishes, I'd move in a heartbeat! Am having cold war with my flatmate cause he's exploiting the girls in the house to do the cleaning :angry3:

 

[SwitSof]

I guess it's obvious I often write long posts.
So what did you mean by these sentences?

That being said , useing this thread as a platform for future teacher training exercices is a bit ludicrous and makes me nauseous.

I've been a lil wary of people that are concerned with online teaching exercices.tedium teaddle do....
cheers
dd

 

[Impetus]

IdRatherBeSkiing?
Actually sounds like my brother :lol:

Zan, if it's true that MANY Cannuck blokes can do their way around the kitchen or even just as simple as vacuum and dishes, I'd move in a heartbeat! Am having cold war with my flatmate cause he's exploiting the girls in the house to do the cleaning :angry3:

maybe canadian men need to learn from their Irish brothers!;-)

way ta go, Seamus!

 

[Unforgiven]

Sorry. My sense of humor is lacking. I just discovered that I hurt a friend and can't fix it.

Traditionaly there has always been a huge difference between "can't" and "won't".

 

[triedit]

Traditionaly there has always been a huge difference between "can't" and "won't".

a) this doesnt concern you
b) this is not the thread to discuss this in
c) apologies have been made. I can't take back hurt.
d) for a thread about how people change you sure are a one trick pony.
e)if you'd like to fight this out privately Im up for that but lets not turn this forum into the grapevine with our petty nastiness.

 

[SwitSof]

b) this is not the thread to discuss this in
e)if you'd like to fight this out privately Im up for that but lets not turn this forum into the grapevine with our petty nastiness.

I personally don't see the harm to have an off topic post from time to time as long as it doesn't go too far, well I do that too in threads I started or others too anyway.
But yeah, if you two are going to talk or even argue about this further, it's better to keep it private between you 2, especially seems there is some personal info that obviously triedit wouldn't or even shouldn't disclose since an incoming legal battle is involved.

a) this doesnt concern you

Hmm this sentence reminds me what I just did that I usually didn't do at least not when I was in Asia.
I was telling my colleagues my short travel plan to France since some weeks before my departure date and a colleague annoyed me by first asked the same question again as why France, doh(!); second, by being rude as to dare throw my stress ball from my desk to me who was checking my small suitcase I put in the office when he was asking!
So I just said firmly,"It's none of your business!"
The funny thing is he was the one who got offended(!) and didn't talk to me for about 2 weeks.
Well, I don't reckon I was the wronged here, plus it's actually nice not to have to hear him telling his bad jokes to me :lol: So it was a peaceful 2 weeks.

But in Japan, people are so polite as it has the culture where you have the mindset you shouldn't trouble people and be polite no matter what. So yeah in Japan, I wouldn't say anything like that even though it's true it's nobody's business.
I think I changed after noticing that well some people don't even have the common sense to figure out what good manners are so recently I react in the same way how the other person acts to others.

 

[Unforgiven]

a) this doesnt concern you
b) this is not the thread to discuss this in
c) apologies have been made. I can't take back hurt.
d) for a thread about how people change you sure are a one trick pony.
e)if you'd like to fight this out privately Im up for that but lets not turn this forum into the grapevine with our petty nastiness.

Who says so, you? heh heh
A thread is a thread is a thread. Where they go, nobody knows.
I don't find you or Dave very sincere about this whole apology business. But aside from that, there is a difference between saying sorry and making amends. Maybe you needed a real friend long ago to teach you that. But then there is that whole thing about sabotaging things before they develop so that you won't get hurt later, right.
I don't think that I'll ever change in that I'm direct and upfront about somethings. I can't think of a thing wrong with that.

I don't think there is anything to fight our Robin. I'm good with all of it. That you feel you had to announce how terrible you feel about the hurtful things you've chosen to do doesn't change any of it. You can put your fingers in your ears and hum all you like but that's always going to be there.

You removed my ability to post on your board to save Dave any criticism and that's fine, it's your world over there, I'll leave you to it. But you can't have things both ways. Not to mention that it's about all of us, not just Robin.

I don't think you're a bad person, and there are things about you that I like, but you, like everyone, have things to learn. One of them seems to be loyalty in friendship. And if I didn't like you, I wouldn't tell you.

 

[Walter]

The only guarantee we have while we're alive is that things will change. A good education will allow you to survive the changes in a positive way. Education never stops but it is up to you to make sure it is a good one.

 

[jimmoyer]

He said when people are lectured to change, they most likely would resent.
But it is more effective to make or to expect people to change if you give a good example of the other alternative (what the change should lead to). Cause then it'd motivate people to change from their inner self.

Have you changed or will you change, you reckon? I suppose personality-wise, habits or ways, principles, values, the core stuff.
If you have or you will, what did or will cause this?

----------------------------------Poster who began this thread---------------------------------------------------

I'd like to return this thread to the original point.

Tommorrow will be 11 months since I quit smoking. Tambien, estoy estudiante de espanol. Also changed my diet to at least 5 softball quantities of fruit per day and vegetables, looking each month for one new mystery fruit to check out. Also excercise. I've always swum alot, but now regularly swim a mile a day with weight excercises alternating every other day.

It's hard to make many changes at once, but this combination of changes tends to feed on the success of each of the other changes. Eating well gives you better energy. Excercise gives you that buzz cigarettes used to give. And finally I really work at discipline of getting more sleep, having had a habit of shortchanging sleep, burning the candle at both ends.

Anyway, it's still a mystery to me why I went so long with bad habits and what that magical moment of change was. I do not ascribe it to will power at all. Hypnosis carried me over the initial hump.

But that combination of events that lead you to change almost seems as accidental as watching the French Open where just one point can change the direction of the match.

Logic is always secondary to this process.

In fact we only use logic after the fact to falsely explain the original impulse.

 

[SwitSof]

maybe canadian men need to learn from their Irish brothers!;-)

way ta go, Seamus!

Well actually no.
The majority will win inside the house I'm living in.
2 girls against 1 lazy Irish lad.

I don't get what is wrong with you lazy men.
Nowadays we, women work too.
Plus, not all women enjoy cooking and cleaning and not all women are neat, so this assumption that women would be so neat and like cooking etc. is outdated in places where both genders work as hard, actually for some careers, women have to work harder to prove themselves.
About the neat part, it's just common sense to live in a clean place at least and that needs some work which goes for both genders too.
Am not a hard-core feminist actually, but some things have changed in case you haven't noticed...

 

[SwitSof]

I don't find you or Dave very sincere about this whole apology business.
[truncated]
I don't think there is anything to fight our Robin.
[truncated]
You removed my ability to post on your board to save Dave any criticism and that's fine, it's your world over there, I'll leave you to it. But you can't have things both ways. Not to mention that it's about all of us, not just Robin.

You guys must have some history before.

 

[Unforgiven]

You guys must have some history before.

Yup spanning years and thousands of messages.