Positive Affirmations!

dancing-loon

House Member
Oct 8, 2007
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That is the path I decide to follow as well Loon, I do things now because they amuse me, I very rarely get angry at anyone for no reason(unless their arseholes lookin for a fight), I don't fold my laundry, I have a clean pile and a dirty pile -sometimes I get them mixed up. I fart around my workshop when I get a notion to build something, I work when I want to and hope to retire early- when I do I will buy a small piece of land build a nice small house and garden to laze away the rest of my life blissfully ignorant of the turmoil in this world.
Hi, Lester, how modest you are! I hope you get to that stage soon and still be in good health to enjoy the moose and deer in your backyard!!
I'm already there, and every year the perennial flower garden grows over my head!!! Unlike you I still want to know what's going on in the world. I love my computer, am married to it!!:smile:
 

dancing-loon

House Member
Oct 8, 2007
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This I pass on to you, Lester! It just flew in from Alberta. :-D
This explains why I forward jokes.A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.



When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as
he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side



When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'



'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.



'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.



'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.'



The man gestured, and the gate began to open.



'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked.



'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'



The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.



After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.



As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.



'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'



'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'



'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.



'There should be a bowl by the pump.'



They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.



The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.



When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.



'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.



'This is Heaven,' he answered.



'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'



'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'



'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'



'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'



Soooo.



Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.



Maybe this will explain.



When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.



When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.



When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes.



Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?



A forwarded joke.



So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.;-)



 

dancing-loon

House Member
Oct 8, 2007
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I love my body!

Wearing just bowling shoes and a smile:lol::lol::lol:


http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servl.../lifeMain/home
---------------------------------------------------------------------
I LOVE my body... it is beautiful!!!
 

dancing-loon

House Member
Oct 8, 2007
2,739
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LEMONS and SUGAR
This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror
Where one could read it every day.
You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world
That you would die for.

2. At least 15 people in this world
Love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you
Is because they want to be just like you.


4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone,
Even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you
Before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. You are special and unique.

8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

9. When you make the biggest mistake ever,
Something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you
Take another look.


11. Always remember the compliments you received.
Forget about the rude remarks.



And always remember....
When life hands you Lemons,
Ask for Sugar and call me over!

Good friends are like stars.
You don't always see them,
But you know they are always there.

'Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway'

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Hmm... thinking... wondering...
Someone loves me?
 

dancing-loon

House Member
Oct 8, 2007
2,739
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Again, something great from out West! It belongs in the positive rather than in the joke column, I've decided. Reading this on a bleh morning it has given me an uplift and joy, when thinking back over the years raising five lively children!!:lol: Poor Dad, he seemed always broke!
Looking back now as a grandmother I must say, those were my best years!!!

I hope all you parents will have a good chuckle reading this....oh, God, it is so true!!!

Job Description
PARENT
This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!


POSITION
:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Mamie
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop, Papa, Vati, Va.


JOB DESCRIPTION
:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and

endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES
:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
and embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION
:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,

without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE
:
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION
:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS
:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Forward this on to all the
PARENTS you know,
in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the jo
b.

** AND A FOOTNOTE? **
THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER! **
If you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents!

HAVE A GREAT DAY!
 

talloola

Hall of Fame Member
Nov 14, 2006
19,576
113
63
Vancouver Island
What a happy place this is. I am a grandparent, and I am lucky for that. I am lucky to
have come to this place, and to have read the posts sent.

I am lucky to have four beautiful daughters, and a good man.

OK, now out to my garden,
which is also a happy place.

Just let the small things in life bring you much joy.
 

look3467

Council Member
Dec 13, 2006
1,952
15
38
Northern California
The only things we can control is our actions.
How we react to life's stimuluses is what we can control.
Submit, fight and or die choosing.

Other than that, we have no control over what may befall on us.

Peace>>>AJ
 

dancing-loon

House Member
Oct 8, 2007
2,739
36
48
I can do it!!!.... And so can YOU!!!!!!

What an example! A 76 year old man has just climbed Mount Everest.
He says he wanted to inspire other seniors!

It is only 8,850m (29,035ft) to the very top!8O

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7419064.stm
-----------------------------------------------------------
I'm only 73! Unfortunately, I'm a little short on cash, but... I have a set of stairs I could climb every day! How long do you think it would take me? There are 15 steps from the bottom to the top. It's probably 10'. If I went up 10 x a day = 100', how many days would 29,035 ft take me??
Quick, tell me, before I figure it out myself!:lol::lol::lol:


I wonder, if he is still single?;-);-)
 

dancing-loon

House Member
Oct 8, 2007
2,739
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An Update:

Mr. Bahadur sure has inspired me! His spirit has touched me!:sunny:

Since May 25th I have every day gone up my stairs 10 times, that is 12 days x 10 x 10 = 1200 feet closer to the top!!.... Hurrah, Hurrah!:lol:
 

dancing-loon

House Member
Oct 8, 2007
2,739
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Life Philosophy

The MayonnaiseJar and 2 Cups of Coffee

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'

The coffee just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Please share this with someone you care about!

I JUST DID!.... YOU:sunny::sunny::sunny:
 

quandary121

Time Out
Apr 20, 2008
2,950
8
38
lincolnshire
uk.youtube.com
Life Philosophy

The MayonnaiseJar and 2 Cups of Coffee

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'

The coffee just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a
couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Please share this with someone you care about!

I JUST DID!.... YOU:sunny::sunny::sunny:
i love coffee loon :lol: lol
 

talloola

Hall of Fame Member
Nov 14, 2006
19,576
113
63
Vancouver Island
Other than my obligations to 'pay my way' in life, (as everyone should),no one is controlling my life, I do what I
want, when I want, so for me, that is being in control of my life.
 

scratch

Senate Member
May 20, 2008
5,658
22
38
I am in control of the remote.

That's all I need.

Oh, and the beer supply.

Totally agree. The beer. The remote. What I do.
But as someone once said ` the moment that you are born, you start to die`.
No control there.
 

#juan

Hall of Fame Member
Aug 30, 2005
18,326
119
63
Self-Sufficiency Is The Key To Empowerment And Freedom

I shovel my own snow!:lol:

Anyone can shovel snow. It takes real control to just ignore it. We had almost a foot and a half overnight during the Winter. What I can't control or ignore is the city snowplows that deposit a five foot high snowbank across the end of my driveway.
 

dancing-loon

House Member
Oct 8, 2007
2,739
36
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Anyone can shovel snow. It takes real control to just ignore it. We had almost a foot and a half overnight during the Winter. What I can't control or ignore is the city snowplows that deposit a five foot high snowbank across the end of my driveway.
Oh, gawd... same thing happens to my driveway... e v e r y t i m e !!!:lol:

I turn it into something POSITIVE.... I say, "what a great cardiovascular workout!!!" and have the better laugh! Haha... a shovelful at a time.;-)