Poll: Some Alberta men believe violence against women is okay

[Blackleaf]

They should do a poll to see how many women think violence against men is okay.

The results will probably be even more shocking.

Women, on the other hand, are not the same as men. Women you do not hit, period, for any reason.

Absolute rubbish.

If some mad cow started attacking me with a rolling pin, a cricket bat or a hammer I will do everything I can to defend myself, even if it means smacking her in the teeth.

 

[SLM]

They should do a poll to see how many women think violence against men is okay.

Actually the poll really doesn't say that. The newspaper article with it's attention grabbing headline does.

The results will probably be even more shocking.

I've no doubt. It's just one of the many things that there are double standards about in our society. Double standards usually cut both ways, personally I try not to buy into any of that.

 

[JLM]

My first wife (1971) was being very rude to a friend of mine so I commented on it. Her reaction was to whack me on the back of the head with a frying pan. Took me a while to recover, but I never hit her. I just walked out of the house and took my friend out for dinner. She never did that again, partly because I moved out shortly after.

Well, she certainly never did that to YOU again! :lol:

 

[Cannuck]

I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that Alberta is mostly a conservative province?

It's not a mostly conservative province. The only people that seem to think so are those that only look at the labels and don't dig a little deeper into the policies.

Personally, I think that women that dress provocatively are taking an unnecessary risk ... but that's a pretty old fashioned way of looking at things

I'm guessing the 40% of men cited in the study are at the higher end of the age scale.

 

[gerryh]

How about women hitting men, got any opinions about that?

That shouldn't happen either, but if it does, it doesn't give men carte blanche to retaliate in kind.

 

[talloola]

Not really, I think you missed the point. The difference is in what society generally perceives as what constitutes a justifiable reason for a woman to strike a man and a man to strike a woman. My experience suggests the rule is that it's okay for a woman to slap a man if he insults her, makes an unwelcome proposition, touches her inappropriately, makes a lewd suggestion, and there are probably others. Society seems to recognize that there are circumstances where it's okay for a woman to strike a man, but it's never okay for a man to strike a woman. I don't think that's right. I don't think the issue of domestic violence is violence against women, it's simply violence itself. And I can assure you, I'll never strike the first blow, but any woman who takes a swing at me is going to get it back, same as a man would. You want to be treated as equals, you got it, both the good and the bad. It also seems relevant to point out that women are less likely than men to engage in physical violence, but more likely to engage in emotional violence, which is no less damaging, it just doesn't leave any visible marks.

I knew exactly what you were expecting, I gave my answer irrespective of that because for me it is basic
and simple, bigger on smaller, smaller on bigger, attitude about physical contact so 'different' between
sexes, the decision to hit so different between sexes, didn't miss the point at all, I don't care what society thinks or perceives, and I don't think its OK for anyone to slap anyone.

 

[Dexter Sinister]

Neither do I, but a lot of people do, and there are gender differences in that, which irk me.

 

[gerryh]

I knew exactly what you were expecting, I gave my answer irrespective of that because for me it is basic
and simple, bigger on smaller, smaller on bigger, attitude about physical contact so 'different' between
sexes, the decision to hit so different between sexes, didn't miss the point at all, I don't care what society thinks or perceives, and I don't think its OK for anyone to slap anyone.

Neither do I, but a lot of people do, and there are gender differences in that, which irk me.

Interesting, yet earlier you stated

Not really, I think you missed the point. The difference is in what society generally perceives as what constitutes a justifiable reason for a woman to strike a man and a man to strike a woman. My experience suggests the rule is that it's okay for a woman to slap a man if he insults her, makes an unwelcome proposition, touches her inappropriately, makes a lewd suggestion, and there are probably others. Society seems to recognize that there are circumstances where it's okay for a woman to strike a man, but it's never okay for a man to strike a woman. I don't think that's right. I don't think the issue of domestic violence is violence against women, it's simply violence itself. And I can assure you, I'll never strike the first blow, but any woman who takes a swing at me is going to get it back, same as a man would. You want to be treated as equals, you got it, both the good and the bad. It also seems relevant to point out that women are less likely than men to engage in physical violence, but more likely to engage in emotional violence, which is no less damaging, it just doesn't leave any visible marks.

 

[Dexter Sinister]

Yeah, so? I'll defend myself if attacked. I don't think I should be attacked, but I'm not going to stand there and take it if I am. Self-defense is the lesser evil. The world isn't as black and white as you'd like it to be.

 

[petros]

If you can't take a punch from a woman......

 

[gerryh]

Yeah, so? I'll defend myself if attacked. I don't think I should be attacked, but I'm not going to stand there and take it if I am. Self-defense is the lesser evil. The world isn't as black and white as you'd like it to be.

and like every other abuser out there.... you can always rationalize.......

she deserved it.....right?

 

[JLM]

and like every other abuser out there.... you can always rationalize.......

she deserved it.....right?

If a woman wants to be treated equally to a man, that has to cover all situations. YA CAN'T SUCK AND BLOW AT THE SAME TIME! :lol:

 

[Durry]

 

[talloola]

If a woman wants to be treated equally to a man, that has to cover all situations. YA CAN'T SUCK AND BLOW AT THE SAME TIME! :lol:

visualize this situation. 120lb woman is having a all out verbal battle with her 220lb husband/boyfriend,
both are very angry, she slaps him across the face, he punches her in the face, oh well, thats the way it
goes right? If she wants to hit, I will hit back, even if he just slapped her back, it force most likely
would be much more of a blow than she was able to make.

if your wife slapped you across the face, would you do the same, or punch her in the face in return.

I have more confidence and respect for a man, and feel he would automatically know he would hurt her,
and find another way to deal with the situation, just restraint would be acceptable.

 

[Dexter Sinister]

If I can't take a punch from a woman.... what? Not the point at all. I see no reason why I should.

if your wife slapped you across the face, would you do the same...

Yes, but I'd pull it, I'm a good deal bigger than she is, and that would be the end of the relationship. There are some things you must not do to a man whose respect and affection you value, and that's one of them.

 

[taxslave]

OK there are exceptions to every rule.

 

[JLM]

visualize this situation. 120lb woman is having a all out verbal battle with her 220lb husband/boyfriend,
both are very angry, she slaps him across the face, he punches her in the face, oh well, thats the way it
goes right? If she wants to hit, I will hit back, even if he just slapped her back, it force most likely
would be much more of a blow than she was able to make.

if your wife slapped you across the face, would you do the same, or punch her in the face in return.

I have more confidence and respect for a man, and feel he would automatically know he would hurt her,
and find another way to deal with the situation, just restraint would be acceptable.

It would be a very rare circumstance where I would punch a woman (haven't done it in 69 years), but I'm not saying it couldn't happen if some 250 lb. brute that packed drill bits in the oil patch decided she was going to kill me. The point I was making was more about the woman's expectations, they should just be very careful in saying they want to treated equally to a man.

 

[talloola]

If I can't take a punch from a woman.... what? Not the point at all. I see no reason why I should.

Yes, but I'd pull it, I'm a good deal bigger than she is, and that would be the end of the relationship. There are some things you must not do to a man whose respect and affection you value, and that's one of them.

thats fine, your decision, would you slug her back before you left her, or just leave her, but one would have to wonder what had happened to actually bring a woman to
physically lash back, as I do not think it would be something she would have ever done before, and once
she 'hit' you, she probably would be even more upset as well, realizing what she had done, and if you
did not hit her back, that would be the right 'physical' ending to the battle.
I would think most people could not ever hit the other, as it is in my life with my husband.

I have been discussing this thread with him, and he said he could not ever hit me back if I hit him,
as he knows he is so much stronger than I am, he would have to think of a better reaction that that,
and he would not end the relationship either, because the matter at hand would be quite serious to have
ever brought me to that point, so it would have to be 'calmed' down, and figured out.

It would be a very rare circumstance where I would punch a woman (haven't done it in 69 years), but I'm not saying it couldn't happen if some 250 lb. brute that packed drill bits in the oil patch decided she was going to kill me. The point I was making was more about the woman's expectations, they should just be very careful in saying they want to treated equally to a man.

not talking about some 'wierd exception', i'm talking about the rule, there are always exceptions, at which time you do what you have to do.

And, in 'most' cases even a woman who is as big or bigger than a man is probably
still much weaker physically, and it doesn't take much of a physical battle for
a woman to cave in emotionally/and or physically, if she is trying to fight
with a man.

 

[JLM]

thats fine, your decision, would you slug her back before you left her, or just leave her, but one would have to wonder what had happened to actually bring a woman to
physically lash back, as I do not think it would be something she would have ever done before, and once
she 'hit' you, she probably would be even more upset as well, realizing what she had done, and if you
did not hit her back, that would be the right 'physical' ending to the battle.
I would think most people could not ever hit the other, as it is in my life with my husband.

I have been discussing this thread with him, and he said he could not ever hit me back if I hit him,
as he knows he is so much stronger than I am, he would have to think of a better reaction that that,
and he would not end the relationship either, because the matter at hand would be quite serious to have
ever brought me to that point, so it would have to be 'calmed' down, and figured out.



not talking about some 'wierd exception', i'm talking about the rule, there are always exceptions, at which time you do what you have to do.

And, in 'most' cases even a woman who is as big or bigger than a man is probably
still much weaker physically, and it doesn't take much of a physical battle for
a woman to cave in emotionally/and or physically, if she is trying to fight
with a man.

I think the rule of thumb in any situation like that is you the minimal amount of force required to control the situation. BUT that is what I would do, I still think if a woman decides she wants to be treated exactly equal to a man, she should be prepared for much more severe treatment, just so she isn't amazed when she's emerging from a coma.

 

[Cannuck]

and like every other abuser out there.... you can always rationalize.......

she deserved it.....right?

Obviously, you don't know the difference between abuse and self defense.