men and women..

[Chiliagon]

ok here's a nice update for ya'll.

I did talk to her about it this morning..

things are fine for now.

We have mutually decided to change our relationship after the weekend.. and she is aware of my concerns about this guy.

But her being her typical stubborn self, is going to basically do what she desires and I will support her on it.. it's going to be hard for me at first because it's a change that I did see coming but you could say hoped it never would.

 

[Praxius]

ok here's a nice update for ya'll.

I did talk to her about it this morning..

things are fine for now.

We have mutually decided to change our relationship after the weekend.. and she is aware of my concerns about this guy.

But her being her typical stubborn self, is going to basically do what she desires and I will support her on it.. it's going to be hard for me at first because it's a change that I did see coming but you could say hoped it never would.

A little vague on the details..... change your relationship in what way?

Are you a couple now or now determined that you're both far from it?

 

[talloola]

It seems you are living in a grey area, just a friend? not just a friend?. You should be going to
this wedding with someone else. You are wasting your time going with this woman, it's not doing you
any good at all, you need to completely let go of her, then actually 'just' be friends with her, and
not go to any social functions together, it doesn't make sense.

wouldn't it be fun to go with someone brand new, and get to know her, or just go by yourself, and have
fun with others at the wedding.

If this woman is 'just' a friend, then let her off the hook and tell her you 'don't want her to go
with you, period, so she can go out with the other guy, and convince her that you are fine 'either' way, if
she still insists on going, then it is because she wants to, so just go together and have fun, you are
just friends 'right'???????????.

 

[Chiliagon]

well for a number of years we have been in a physical type relationship, you know S e x..

we are going to officially end that after the weekend and try to move on and engage in things other than each other. I need to move on and find a new gal and she may have someone lined up..

just friends 'right'???????????.

read above.

 

[karrie]

Chili, I really think you're either lying about your age, or you need to get some help with growing up. You can simply say sex on the forum. You don't have to spell it out. At 32 years old we all assume you're having sex with her if you're getting hotel rooms together and not wanting your mom around while you visit with her. You're doing yourself a disservice if you're misrepresenting your age.

 

[Chiliagon]

ya i know Karrie, this is all intwined with the whole moving on part.. and I am definitely 32. I just haven't had the same experiences by now as some people have.

gotta realize, she's been my only GF, my first partner and I've known her longer than any female (minus family members) I know.

 

[Praxius]

The first one's always the hardest to get past, as they say and as I know..... of course looking back I shake my head and ponder about what the hell I was thinking..... but at the time it all made sense.

Sounds like you need to drop this baggage, ie: her.

Most of what I got from your descriptions of her is that she's stubborn, stuck in her ways and tends to get very defensive when someone has something to say that she doesn't agree with.... in other words, she's someone who's always trying to control the situation...... based on your additional descriptions of yourself, that's the type of person you do not need in your life and with your last description of your relationship with her..... you're not exactly friends and you're not exactly going out with her either...... you're friends with benefits..... ie: two people whom only really stay with one another out of sex and nothing more.

To be honest, you need to get her out of your life and you need to stay out of hers.... the relationship between you two is no longer there and all that remains is the old familiarity of being with one another...... but that's useless if you're continually paranoid and have issues with what she does and who she spends her time with.......

Whether you remain close friends with her and tolerate being hung up on her seeing other men, or if you break off the relationship now and move on completely...... the relationship you both had with one another died a long time ago and all this jumping through hoops is doing now is the equivalent of performing CPR on a zombie....... It's Dead Jim.

All you're doing now is dragging out the stress and pain by sticking around her with the off chance you'll get to have some sex...... chances are, she's doing the same thing, if not, then she's sticking around just to manipulate you with her vagina because she knows she can.

You can deal with the brutal and slow pain of dragging this out to what you already know is a doomed outcome, thus end up hating one another...... or deal with the pain of cutting off your leg now before the infection grows and be better off, sooner.

Either way, it's going to suck.

Such is the way of relationships and sex.

 

[Ron in Regina]

Part two to this story can be found here for some reason: http://forums.canadiancontent.net/hot-topics/95941-men-women-part-2-a.html#post1331891

 

[talloola]

this just seems to me like the end of a first marriage, but can't seem to end it. something will end
it soon, and it will hurt, you must let it hurt, by ending it now. don't be afraid to move on, it
will be good for you, and for her.

I understand how hard it must be to let go, when it has been the first one, and has been going on for
so long. Just do it, end it, and suffer for a while, you will mourn but you will move on, and you will
enjoy your new life, once you get past this one that you are stuck in.

 

[Ariadne]

well for a number of years we have been in a physical type relationship, you know S e x..

we are going to officially end that after the weekend and try to move on and engage in things other than each other. I need to move on and find a new gal and she may have someone lined up..

One last fling??? At a family wedding, while giving your mom and brother a ride to the wedding? That doesn't sound right. It sounds like you need to forget about the goodbye sex, and get it over with ... if it's over, leave her at home or tell her to go to the game with that other guy. You may meet Ms Perfect at the wedding ... don't mess that up by showing up with the girl you just dumped, or some girl she's going to set you up with. Make a clean break, go forward.

 

[Nuggler]

we're not discussing THAT anymore.. THAT has been fixed.

I'm talking about a guy who's getting on my nerves

Go and see the lad and gently tell him to F off or you'll break both his legs with a baseball bat. IF you feel the gal is worth jail time.:male:

 

[Chiliagon]

oh my.

 

[TenPenny]

One last fling??? At a family wedding, while giving your mom and brother a ride to the wedding? That doesn't sound right.

Actually, it sounds perfect. Go for it with gusto, that's the best part about weddings.

 

[Skatchie]

These are challenging issues. Self confidence, imo, is rooted in self awareness. I would say, "love yourself" but that's misleading. Of course we all love ourselves. We have no choice. The choice is to put ourselves first. That can actually be quite difficult. Being self aware is how we put ourselves first. It sounds selfish and we're taught that being selfish is wrong. That's incorrect though. Self aware people are not self involved. You can be kind, generous, and giving and come from a place of personal gratitude.

The way I see it, if this girl is a hindrance for you to be your best self, then quit trying to put a square peg in a round hole, already. Their aren't plenty of fish in the sea but 99% of people that are looking for love and not finding it need to look inside themselves first. Fix yourself and your perception of the world will change and the doors to your happiness in relationships, and anything else, will be open to you. You'll know where to go and what to do. Confusion is internal. It can be fixed.

 

[Bcool]

Nuggler kind & gentle: Go and see the lad and gently tell him to F off or you'll break both his legs with a baseball bat. IF you feel the gal is worth jail time.:male:

Actually, it sounds perfect. Go for it with gusto, that's the best part about weddings.

LOL Oh my! :::mopping spilt tea off keyboard & tears from eyes here...:::

 

[LastChance]

I think this guy is taking a piss. No way this thread has lasted this long.

 

[karrie]

It was a mere two pages and died out a week ago.... it lasts only so long as people dig it up to comment on it.