Man robs store with Vibrator.

DurkaDurka

Internet Lawyer
Mar 15, 2006
10,385
129
63
Toronto
I bet this guys girlfriend isn't too pleased with him. "Honey... where is my plastic tower of pleasure? Sorry babe, I used it as a concealed weapon while robbing a convenience store."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/crime/article/0,,2152787,00.html?gusrc=rss&feed=networkfront



Robber jailed for sex toy 'armed' raid



[FONT=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif] Press Association
Monday August 20, 2007
Guardian Unlimited


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[FONT=Geneva,Arial,sans-serif]CCTV image of Nicki Jex holding up a bookmakers shop using a concealed sex toy
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A robber who held up a bookmakers with his girlfriend's vibrator was jailed today.Nicki Jex concealed the Rampant Rabbit sex toy in a carrier bag and pretended it was a gun during the raid on the Ladbrokes shop in Leicester on December 27 last year.
A member of staff at the branch handed over more than £600 in cash when he pointed the bag at her, Leicester crown court was told.
Jex, 27, of Braunstone, pleaded guilty to the robbery, which was captured on a CCTV camera inside the shop.

Sentencing him to five years behind bars, the judge, Philip Head, said: "It's right to record that you did not have a firearm but you pretended you had and intended that those you confronted believed that you did, and it must have been truly terrifying for them at the time."The surveillance camera recorded Jex striding into the shop brandishing the "firearm" minutes before staff were due to close for the day.
Tim Palmer, prosecuting, told the court: "The defendant pointed the item in the carrier bag at the cashier. She immediately assumed it to be a firearm. In fact, what was contained within the carrier bag was the defendant's girlfriend's vibrator."
The cashier retreated behind the counter and he turned the imitation weapon on the shop manager, demanding cash. She handed over £613 in till contents and other money, the court was told.
As Jex made his escape, the shop's only remaining customer, Wayne Vakani, followed him outside.
"The defendant pointed the vibrator in the bag at Mr Vakani and warned him to back off," said Mr Palmer. "Mr Vakani then kept a discreet distance but kept an eye on the defendant and watched where he went."
Jex visited a local pub "obviously flush with money" to buy friends a drink. Thanks to Mr Vakani, the defendant's hat worn in the robbery and containing his DNA was discovered nearby.
Jex also tried in vain to sell the distinctive camel-coloured coat he had been wearing during the raid.
When he was arrested he denied any involvement in the robbery, but he later owned up.
The court was told that Jex, a drug addict, had a string of previous convictions dating back to February 2002, including shoplifting, failing to surrender and possession of heroin.
In mitigation, Phil Gibbs, defending, said Jex, a qualified chef and engineer, had fought a battle against drug addiction and had a "fragile" state of mind.
The judge awarded £500 to Mr Vakani for his "very considerable courage".
 

Curiosity

Senate Member
Jul 30, 2005
7,326
138
63
California
WOW - bet that shook up the court system !! Did he know what it was ?? I guess they are cheaper than handguns eh? :smile:

 

Twila

Nanah Potato
Mar 26, 2003
14,698
73
48
k, that's just plain weird...a concealed sex toy...How embarrassing...sitting around the common room in jail talking about doing your time....using a concealed sex toy!
 

#juan

Hall of Fame Member
Aug 30, 2005
18,326
119
63
It could have gone differently:

Uhh.....Give me all the money or I'll have you spasming uncontrollably before you can move.....Don't think I won't do it........Stop laughing..........I said stop laughing......Damn....I should have brought a real gun......:smile::smile:
 

Kreskin

Doctor of Thinkology
Feb 23, 2006
21,155
149
63
If it isn't his girlfriends he's got some splainin' to do.
 

Nuggler

kind and gentle
Feb 27, 2006
11,596
141
63
Backwater, Ontario.
tigation, Phil Gibbs, defending, said Jex, a qualified chef and engineer, had fought a battle against drug addiction and had a "fragile" state of mind.""

the chorus is:

What in the world's come over me?
What in heaven's name did I think?
Robbin the bookies with honey's sex toy
Then off to the pub to get a drink.

Oh I walked in straight and I walked in curly.
I told the clerk to bust the till
But ma hand was a shurly shakin
Couldn't keep the damn thing still

Chorus:

Lost me hat in me get awaway
Coppers got me dna
Looks like I'm a phuckin loser
What in heaven's name can I say?

With apologies to John Prine "Broken the speed of the sound of lonliness"

:read2:
 

Robert_Strain

Nominee Member
Apr 1, 2007
78
2
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:love9::love10::love4::love5::love6::love8:I Love You!:love9::love10::love4::love5::love6::love8:
 
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