Love Of Our Neighbour

selfactivated

selfactivated

Time Out
Apr 11, 2006
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talloola said:
How can I help "myself" find any peace of mind, as I think of that "horrible" man who was found
guilty today of sexually assaulting, and burying "alive" that sweet little girl in the u.s., as the hate and
fury I feel toward that man just seems far too "mild" for someone like him. I think of the little
girl "Jessica" and vusualize her "suffering", I am crying as I write this, it is so horrible. How could
anyone ever explain such a vile crime.
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I dont know what your talking about sweetheart but in my life I was abused at a very young age but without that experience I wouldnt be me, the person I am today. I forgave my step for his cruelty, I forgave my mother for her blind eye. I dont have all the answers noone does. We just have to do the very best we can within our experiences. I hope that makes some sense
 
sanctus

sanctus

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Oct 27, 2006
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talloola said:
How can I help "myself" find any peace of mind, as I think of that "horrible" man who was found
guilty today of sexually assaulting, and burying "alive" that sweet little girl in the u.s., as the hate and
fury I feel toward that man just seems far too "mild" for someone like him. I think of the little
girl "Jessica" and vusualize her "suffering", I am crying as I write this, it is so horrible. How could
anyone ever explain such a vile crime.
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It seems impossible, I know. I have no idea what goes on in the minds of these jerks as they commit such awful atrocities against other people. I do know that hatred consumes the soul. It does not ease and go away, but instead it grows and festers like an open wound. It is obviously not good for an individual.

I would pray harder for peace of mind, knowing that it will be difficult to achieve.

Once I had to work with a man whom I discovered was abusing his sons. I was unable to help him, as I have little emphathy for these type of men. I ended up having to refer him to another priest because I was unable to be objective. Being objective and uninvolved emotionally is a key to any type of counselling. One must listen, advise and not be emotionally affected. It turns out that this is one area I cannot help a person in, due to my inability to remove my personal feelings in regards to children and their abusers.

Not much of an answer, but Jesus taught us to pray for our enemies. That is what I personally do. It eventually actually helps, though to begin is not at all an easy task.
 
csanopal

csanopal

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Dec 22, 2006
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selfactivated said:
I dont know what your talking about sweetheart but in my life I was abused at a very young age but without that experience I wouldnt be me, the person I am today. I forgave my step for his cruelty, I forgave my mother for her blind eye. I dont have all the answers noone does. We just have to do the very best we can within our experiences. I hope that makes some sense
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Even though you forgave your mother, do you feel that parts of you might still resent her for her actions?
 
sanctus

sanctus

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selfactivated said:
No worries how would you know? She was diagnosed 8 years before we lost her so we were quite blessed
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You know, when I joined this forum and you brought this up I passed over it and giving advice, which I regret now.I did that because of my own failing in understanding the mindset of the perpetuator. I am just unable to feel unbiased about these matters, especially since I have two daughters myself.

I do know that forgivness is the number one priority in this issue. Forigveness not so much for the sake of the perpetuator, but as a cleansing for the self. When we harbour resentments, we harm ourselves most of all. Like a cancer, a tiny resentment can grow to a heavy stone that one carries inside of him.

for what it is worth, I pray for you all the time, and have since first coming across you here.
 
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mapleleafgirl

mapleleafgirl

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Dec 13, 2006
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fr. c. being serious. have you considered the possibilty that youre better off leaving this forum for good? im asking cos there are a group of people here whose only interest is in insulting you, attacking you and your beliefs or mocking you. snfu comes to mind first of all. you started your own forum, why not just stay with that one? this fits under this thread cos i think sometimes in loving your neighbour means you leave them to their own, especially when they are just being nasty to you. does that make sense?
 
L Gilbert

L Gilbert

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I've often wondered just why it is that people think loving and forgiving such vile creatures is some sort of a virtue. Sorry, folks but if I ever met such a being while having the knowledge that it had intentionally done harm to a child, I probably would do my best to see the critter suffer as much as the child then see the SOB gets prison. Not revenge or anything like that, it's simply what I see as justice.
I can love people in general. It's just a few specific ones I don't think are human any more.
 
sanctus

sanctus

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mapleleafgirl said:
fr. c. being serious. have you considered the possibilty that youre better off leaving this forum for good? im asking cos there are a group of people here whose only interest is in insulting you, attacking you and your beliefs or mocking you. snfu comes to mind first of all. you started your own forum, why not just stay with that one? this fits under this thread cos i think sometimes in loving your neighbour means you leave them to their own, especially when they are just being nasty to you. does that make sense?
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Thank you Maple. I am actually seriously considering doing just that.
 
T

tanakar

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Feb 14, 2007
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L Gilbert said:
I've often wondered just why it is that people think loving and forgiving such vile creatures is some sort of a virtue. Sorry, folks but if I ever met such a being while having the knowledge that it had intentionally done harm to a child, I probably would do my best to see the critter suffer as much as the child then see the SOB gets prison. Not revenge or anything like that, it's simply what I see as justice.
I can love people in general. It's just a few specific ones I don't think are human any more.
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I'm of the same mindset, to be honest with you.
 
T

tanakar

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Feb 14, 2007
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sanctus said:
St. John Vianney

All of our religion is but a false religion and all our virtues are mere illusions and we ourselves are only hypocrites in the sight of God if we have not that universal charity for everyone, for the good and for the bad, for the poor people as well as for the rich, for all those who do us harm as much as for those who do us good.

No, my dear brethren, there is no virtue which will let us know better whether we are the children or God than charity.

The obligation we have to love our neighbour is so important that Jesus Christ put it into a Commandment which He placed immediately after that by which He commands us to love Him with all our hearts. He tells us that all the law and the prophets are included in this commandment to love our neighbour. Yes, my dear brethren, we must regard this obligation as the most universal, the most necessary and the most essential to religion and to our salvation. In fulfilling this Commandment, we are fulfilling all others. St. Paul tells us that the other Commandments forbid us to commit adultery, robbery, injuries, false testimonies. If we love our neighbour, we shall not do any of these things because the love we have for our neighbour would not allow us to do him any harm.​
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This is an excellant read, just excellant. One cannot help but think this should be pasted on the entry to every church so the christians will read it!(no offence meant)
 
hermanntrude

hermanntrude

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sanctus said:
Thank you Maple. I am actually seriously considering doing just that.
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I'd like to request that you consider the benefits of this site as well as the downside. benefits to you as well as us. Having your views questioned (politely most of the time) is surely good for keeping your thoughts fresh and active. As for the less polite people (myself included sometimes... sorry), maybe they'll learn from your example that disagreements can still be a friendly affair.

Gilbert and Tanakar: forgiveness is not really an issue of virtue for me, but as mentioned several times before, a cleansing, healing issue, much more for the good of the forgiver than the forgivee. When it comes to the kind of person who commits crimes such as those mentioned above I usually take the view that no-one in their right mind would do this kind of thing and that makes forgiveness easier. Punishment is necessary but it should be impartial and if at all possible helpful. I certainly don't believe that taking into a back alley somewhere and pummelling ten kinds of excrement out of him would help at all.
 
T

tanakar

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Feb 14, 2007
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hermanntrude said:
I'd like to request that you consider the benefits of this site as well as the downside. benefits to you as well as us. Having your views questioned (politely most of the time) is surely good for keeping your thoughts fresh and active. As for the less polite people (myself included sometimes... sorry), maybe they'll learn from your example that disagreements can still be a friendly affair.

Gilbert and Tanakar: forgiveness is not really an issue of virtue for me, but as mentioned several times before, a cleansing, healing issue, much more for the good of the forgiver than the forgivee. When it comes to the kind of person who commits crimes such as those mentioned above I usually take the view that no-one in their right mind would do this kind of thing and that makes forgiveness easier. Punishment is necessary but it should be impartial and if at all possible helpful. I certainly don't believe that taking into a back alley somewhere and pummelling ten kinds of excrement out of him would help at all.
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So, should we just forgive these guys with no punishment at all? Or did I not understand your point??
 
hermanntrude

hermanntrude

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Jun 23, 2006
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you didnt even read my post. I quote myself: "punishment is neccessary, but it should be impartial and if at all possible, helpful"

By helpful I mean healing. Something to prevent further occurrence, although I am aware that in many situations this is considered impossible.
 
Curiosity

Curiosity

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Jul 30, 2005
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Hermanntrude

Quote:
Originally Posted by hermanntrude
I'd like to request that you consider the benefits of this site as well as the downside. benefits to you as well as us. Having your views questioned (politely most of the time) is surely good for keeping your thoughts fresh and active. As for the less polite people (myself included sometimes... sorry), maybe they'll learn from your example that disagreements can still be a friendly affair.

Gilbert and Tanakar: forgiveness is not really an issue of virtue for me, but as mentioned several times before, a cleansing, healing issue, much more for the good of the forgiver than the forgivee. When it comes to the kind of person who commits crimes such as those mentioned above I usually take the view that no-one in their right mind would do this kind of thing and that makes forgiveness easier. Punishment is necessary but it should be impartial and if at all possible helpful. I certainly don't believe that taking into a back alley somewhere and pummelling ten kinds of excrement out of him would help at all.


Not necessarily on topic here but it seemed a good place for me to write something to you.... since I first started reading your posts you seem to have gone through a great process of patience and understanding - perhaps before you were stressed regarding your move and a new job. For whatever reason I would like to say your posts have become far more enlightened and make a worthy read on many topics...not just forgiveness. You add much to the content of our thoughts.

Regarding forgiveness, even the horror of murder and child molestation have roots in illness of the perpetrators.... and that is what we have to forgive .... not leaving them in society to commit further acts but to forgive their illness.

It does make our journey though life a lighter one, and even though there will always be a few we cannot honestly find it in our hearts to accept .... we can move on and learn.

Anyway - didn't mean to get mushy but I like to see people grow into greater understanding on forums... as you have done... Curiosity.
 
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