Huntin' for Extraterrestrials - Part One
copyright 2006 – Murphy
Every week, I give local history talks at the Legion in Seemyville. It's well attended. Since it's a big hit there, I thought I would share a story with my Internets friends. Ha! Internet friends...
There are eight (8) parts to the stpry.
Stumpville has a long and fascinatin' history of alien visitations. This story has extraterrestrials, the RCAF (Royal Canadian Air Force) and Jimi Hendrix in it! Yes, it really does!
I broke it up into little chunks 'cause people these daze don't like readin' too many words. Especially you! It was proposed for a mini series on CBC, but the executives there are mostly illiterate.
---
Huntin' for Extraterrestrials - Part One
copyright 2006 - Murphy
Extraterrestrials are a subject that rarely comes up in conversation around Stumpville. I don’t think that anybody knows or cares about stuff like that. The only information we get is from television or the movies. Some of the locals say that there are aliens walkin' around town right now. That's fine, and as long as they don’t cause any trouble, then it’s okay with me too.
There is one exception to folks not mindin' about aliens - Edna. She owns the restaurant and is terrified of any movies with creatures from space in them. She can handle Frankenstein, the Mummy and the other monsters that come from earth, but no space aliens!
We didn’t really know about her phobia until after she come back from the movie theatre in Seemyville. Her husband took her out for supper and to see a movie. It was a 1958 film classic - The Blob - the main feature at the Seemyville Bijou.
Apparently nothin' could stop Edna either. As soon as she saw that gelatinous lump leap onto its first unsuspectin' earthlin', she went screamin' out the front door. And that, my friends, is precisely why you cannot get Jello at Edna’s Restaurant anymore. I shudder to think what would have disappeared from the menu if she had seen ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’.
We had a strange thing happen here a few years back. One afternoon, two green trucks filled with air force guys pulled up outside of Edna’s Restaurant. The vehicles parked in front and five guys got out for lunch. The people standin' on the sidewalk stared at this odd-looking group, as they filed into the buildin'. The diners inside all went silent and watched, as those military guys sat down.
End of Part 1.
Huntin' for Extraterrestrials - Part 2
copyright 2006 – Murphy
They didn’t talk to any of the locals, just ordered some food and quietly chatted. It was obvious that they simply wanted to eat and be left alone. On the other hand, we had a hockey sock full of questions! It was usual having military people around.
We bombarded them with questions like,
“Do those uniforms itch?”
Answer - “Only when we wear ‘em.” Or,
“Why does the air force wear blue uniforms?”
Answer - “The other colours were already taken…” And,
“Would they disband the air force if they invented a flying submarine?”
Answer - “No, we’d just take over the navy.”
Oh.
After ten minutes or so, the mayor showed up. He wanted to know what was going on, so he walked over to the person in charge and said, “Are we going to be attacked?”
“No.”
“Did a plane crash?”
“No.”
“Looking for Klaatu Barada’s necktie?”
“What?!?”
“Never mind.”
“You know, if you fellows need anythin’, just let me know. I’m the mayor. The name’s Tom Cowan (the mayor preceedin’ Charlie Davidson - Murphy). I can put you in touch with anyone locally who might be able to help with, with, well, whatever it is that you may need help with, but haven’t talked about yet…”
The air force officer in charge, stood up and introduced himself as Major John David. He seemed worried and asked if I’d seen any strangers in town.
“No, can’t say as I’ve seen anyone that doesn’t belong here…” Right then, the mayor’s face went white and he pointed right at the major. “Wait a minute! It’s aliens isn’t it? You think that we’ve got creatures from outer space here!”
Every head in the place turned to listen. Then Tom went quiet and whispered to the major,
“Do you think that they are disguised as humans? If they are, maybe they’re slowly takin’ over our bodies and substitutin’ the real people with giant zucchinis, like in that film about body snatching! We could arm some of the townsfolk, but I couldn’t be sure that they weren’t already possessed, or taken over, or whatever you call it…”
“Look, Mr. Cowan, I’m going to need your assistance, but I’d like to talk to you privately. Not in public, you know? Do you have an office?”
End of Part 2
copyright 2006 – Murphy
Every week, I give local history talks at the Legion in Seemyville. It's well attended. Since it's a big hit there, I thought I would share a story with my Internets friends. Ha! Internet friends...
There are eight (8) parts to the stpry.
Stumpville has a long and fascinatin' history of alien visitations. This story has extraterrestrials, the RCAF (Royal Canadian Air Force) and Jimi Hendrix in it! Yes, it really does!
I broke it up into little chunks 'cause people these daze don't like readin' too many words. Especially you! It was proposed for a mini series on CBC, but the executives there are mostly illiterate.
---
Huntin' for Extraterrestrials - Part One
copyright 2006 - Murphy
Extraterrestrials are a subject that rarely comes up in conversation around Stumpville. I don’t think that anybody knows or cares about stuff like that. The only information we get is from television or the movies. Some of the locals say that there are aliens walkin' around town right now. That's fine, and as long as they don’t cause any trouble, then it’s okay with me too.
There is one exception to folks not mindin' about aliens - Edna. She owns the restaurant and is terrified of any movies with creatures from space in them. She can handle Frankenstein, the Mummy and the other monsters that come from earth, but no space aliens!
We didn’t really know about her phobia until after she come back from the movie theatre in Seemyville. Her husband took her out for supper and to see a movie. It was a 1958 film classic - The Blob - the main feature at the Seemyville Bijou.
Indescribable... Indestructible! Nothing Can Stop It!
Apparently nothin' could stop Edna either. As soon as she saw that gelatinous lump leap onto its first unsuspectin' earthlin', she went screamin' out the front door. And that, my friends, is precisely why you cannot get Jello at Edna’s Restaurant anymore. I shudder to think what would have disappeared from the menu if she had seen ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’.
We had a strange thing happen here a few years back. One afternoon, two green trucks filled with air force guys pulled up outside of Edna’s Restaurant. The vehicles parked in front and five guys got out for lunch. The people standin' on the sidewalk stared at this odd-looking group, as they filed into the buildin'. The diners inside all went silent and watched, as those military guys sat down.
End of Part 1.
Huntin' for Extraterrestrials - Part 2
copyright 2006 – Murphy
They didn’t talk to any of the locals, just ordered some food and quietly chatted. It was obvious that they simply wanted to eat and be left alone. On the other hand, we had a hockey sock full of questions! It was usual having military people around.
We bombarded them with questions like,
“Do those uniforms itch?”
Answer - “Only when we wear ‘em.” Or,
“Why does the air force wear blue uniforms?”
Answer - “The other colours were already taken…” And,
“Would they disband the air force if they invented a flying submarine?”
Answer - “No, we’d just take over the navy.”
Oh.
After ten minutes or so, the mayor showed up. He wanted to know what was going on, so he walked over to the person in charge and said, “Are we going to be attacked?”
“No.”
“Did a plane crash?”
“No.”
“Looking for Klaatu Barada’s necktie?”
“What?!?”
“Never mind.”
“You know, if you fellows need anythin’, just let me know. I’m the mayor. The name’s Tom Cowan (the mayor preceedin’ Charlie Davidson - Murphy). I can put you in touch with anyone locally who might be able to help with, with, well, whatever it is that you may need help with, but haven’t talked about yet…”
The air force officer in charge, stood up and introduced himself as Major John David. He seemed worried and asked if I’d seen any strangers in town.
“No, can’t say as I’ve seen anyone that doesn’t belong here…” Right then, the mayor’s face went white and he pointed right at the major. “Wait a minute! It’s aliens isn’t it? You think that we’ve got creatures from outer space here!”
Every head in the place turned to listen. Then Tom went quiet and whispered to the major,
“Do you think that they are disguised as humans? If they are, maybe they’re slowly takin’ over our bodies and substitutin’ the real people with giant zucchinis, like in that film about body snatching! We could arm some of the townsfolk, but I couldn’t be sure that they weren’t already possessed, or taken over, or whatever you call it…”
“Look, Mr. Cowan, I’m going to need your assistance, but I’d like to talk to you privately. Not in public, you know? Do you have an office?”
End of Part 2
