Darwin Awards
- Thread starter #juan
- Start date
The Darwin winner(s) in the Walmart story was not the person who died but the people who caused his death over something meaningless and their ignoring of company rules....
An Instagram star, known for photographing extreme views of the New York City skyline, has died while "subway surfing", according to police.
Instagram star Christopher Serrano dies 'subway surfing' in New York - BBC Newsbeat
They were about to eat Taco Bell, then they dropped dead, and nobody knows why
Postmedia Network
First posted: Thursday, October 20, 2016 12:47 PM EDT | Updated: Thursday, October 20, 2016 01:02 PM EDT
Authorities in Michigan are trying to figure out why a young couple suddenly dropped dead in their apartment moments before they were set to eat dinner.
Cameron Hulet, 28, and his wife Courtney Hulet, 20, were discovered in their Dundee, Mich., apartment Tuesday night. According to Monroe News, police believe the pair were about to eat dinner from Taco Bell when they suddenly died.
“It’s really a puzzle,” Dave Uhl, their apartment manager, told the newspaper. “There is no indication as to what happened. It’s a mystery.”
Police say drugs could be involved. A pound of marijuana was found on a nearby kitchen table. Other drug paraphernalia was found inside the apartment, Dundee police chief Todd Opperman told Monroe News.
He also confirmed that pair’s two young children had recently been removed by Child Protective Services.
According to Monroe News, a neighbour had visited the couple’s apartment around 9 p.m. and found them lying on the floor but thought they were asleep. She checked up on them again about three hours later. When she found them in the same position she called police.
There were no obvious signs of trauma to the bodies and no indication that foul play was involved. Police are awaiting an autopsy and toxicology results.
Courtney and Cameron Hulet. (Facebook Photo)
They were about to eat Taco Bell, then they dropped dead, and nobody knows why |
Postmedia Network
First posted: Thursday, October 20, 2016 12:47 PM EDT | Updated: Thursday, October 20, 2016 01:02 PM EDT
Authorities in Michigan are trying to figure out why a young couple suddenly dropped dead in their apartment moments before they were set to eat dinner.
Cameron Hulet, 28, and his wife Courtney Hulet, 20, were discovered in their Dundee, Mich., apartment Tuesday night. According to Monroe News, police believe the pair were about to eat dinner from Taco Bell when they suddenly died.
“It’s really a puzzle,” Dave Uhl, their apartment manager, told the newspaper. “There is no indication as to what happened. It’s a mystery.”
Police say drugs could be involved. A pound of marijuana was found on a nearby kitchen table. Other drug paraphernalia was found inside the apartment, Dundee police chief Todd Opperman told Monroe News.
He also confirmed that pair’s two young children had recently been removed by Child Protective Services.
According to Monroe News, a neighbour had visited the couple’s apartment around 9 p.m. and found them lying on the floor but thought they were asleep. She checked up on them again about three hours later. When she found them in the same position she called police.
There were no obvious signs of trauma to the bodies and no indication that foul play was involved. Police are awaiting an autopsy and toxicology results.
Courtney and Cameron Hulet. (Facebook Photo)
They were about to eat Taco Bell, then they dropped dead, and nobody knows why |
They were about to eat Taco Bell, then they dropped dead, and nobody knows why
Postmedia Network
First posted: Thursday, October 20, 2016 12:47 PM EDT | Updated: Thursday, October 20, 2016 01:02 PM EDT
Authorities in Michigan are trying to figure out why a young couple suddenly dropped dead in their apartment moments before they were set to eat dinner.
Cameron Hulet, 28, and his wife Courtney Hulet, 20, were discovered in their Dundee, Mich., apartment Tuesday night. According to Monroe News, police believe the pair were about to eat dinner from Taco Bell when they suddenly died.
“It’s really a puzzle,” Dave Uhl, their apartment manager, told the newspaper. “There is no indication as to what happened. It’s a mystery.”
Police say drugs could be involved. A pound of marijuana was found on a nearby kitchen table. Other drug paraphernalia was found inside the apartment, Dundee police chief Todd Opperman told Monroe News.
He also confirmed that pair’s two young children had recently been removed by Child Protective Services.
According to Monroe News, a neighbour had visited the couple’s apartment around 9 p.m. and found them lying on the floor but thought they were asleep. She checked up on them again about three hours later. When she found them in the same position she called police.
There were no obvious signs of trauma to the bodies and no indication that foul play was involved. Police are awaiting an autopsy and toxicology results.
Courtney and Cameron Hulet. (Facebook Photo)
They were about to eat Taco Bell, then they dropped dead, and nobody knows why |
At least they didn't have to eat from the Bell.
Falling on rock while fleeing RCMP claimed life of fugitive Sheldon Thunderblanket, B.C. police watchdog says
By Damien Wood, Postmedia Network
First posted: Saturday, October 29, 2016 07:15 PM EDT | Updated: Saturday, October 29, 2016 09:02 PM EDT
It wasn’t police action or inaction that killed a fleeing murder and cop shooting suspect — it was falling head-first onto a rock while trying to get away.
Friday, Independent Investigation Office of B.C. released findings of its look into Sheldon Kyle Thunderblanket’s death near Revelstoke earlier this month.
“At 10:10 a.m., Oct. 12, 2016, the affected person was found deceased in a river,” the IIO report said.
“An autopsy was completed and attended by an IIO forensic investigator.
“The autopsy concluded the cause of death to be a head trauma consistent with an impact against a rock.”
Thunderblanket was wanted in the Oct. 11 shooting of an RCMP officer during a traffic stop near Golden, B.C., and the shooting death of his ex-girlfriend in Saskatchewan a couple of days earlier.
He was suspected of breaking into his ex-girlfriend’s home, before gunning her down and leaving her sister badly wounded on the Little Pine First Nation in Saskatchewan.
The officer shot outside Golden underwent reconstructive surgery on her hand and arm and is recovering.
Thunderblanket was also fired on and struck in the incident, the IIO said, but was thought to be armed and dangerous as a manhunt began. He fled the shooting scene on foot then hijacked a vehicle and headed towards Revelstoke, the IIO said.
“Police set up a road block and deployed two spike belts in an attempt to stop the vehicle. The vehicle failed to stop and shots were fired by police. Eleven expended casings from police carbines were recovered from the scene in the vicinity of the spike belts; it can be confirmed one of the bullets struck the vehicle on the driver’s wing mirror. The affected person was not hit by any police bullets,” the report said.
“The male continued to drive until he was out of sight of the police ... The police held observations at a distance of 75 metres for 41 minutes until the Police Emergency Response Team arrived. By then, the affected person had exited the vehicle, crossed the highway and made his way down a steep embankment. A police service dog was then deployed with no success. Police concluded the search at 11:42 p.m. when they set up containment around the forest.”
Thunderblanket was found dead soon after the search resumed the following morning.
He had a wound to his forearm when found, believed to be the result of the first exchange of gunfire outside Golden.
dwood@postmedia.com
On Twitter: @DamienWood_
Sheldon Kyle Thunderblanket is shown in this undated RCMP handout image. The search continues for the suspect wanted in connection with a series of events near Golden, BC on Tuesday, October 11th. THE CANADIAN PRESS
Falling on rock while fleeing RCMP claimed life of fugitive Sheldon Thunderblank
By Damien Wood, Postmedia Network
First posted: Saturday, October 29, 2016 07:15 PM EDT | Updated: Saturday, October 29, 2016 09:02 PM EDT
It wasn’t police action or inaction that killed a fleeing murder and cop shooting suspect — it was falling head-first onto a rock while trying to get away.
Friday, Independent Investigation Office of B.C. released findings of its look into Sheldon Kyle Thunderblanket’s death near Revelstoke earlier this month.
“At 10:10 a.m., Oct. 12, 2016, the affected person was found deceased in a river,” the IIO report said.
“An autopsy was completed and attended by an IIO forensic investigator.
“The autopsy concluded the cause of death to be a head trauma consistent with an impact against a rock.”
Thunderblanket was wanted in the Oct. 11 shooting of an RCMP officer during a traffic stop near Golden, B.C., and the shooting death of his ex-girlfriend in Saskatchewan a couple of days earlier.
He was suspected of breaking into his ex-girlfriend’s home, before gunning her down and leaving her sister badly wounded on the Little Pine First Nation in Saskatchewan.
The officer shot outside Golden underwent reconstructive surgery on her hand and arm and is recovering.
Thunderblanket was also fired on and struck in the incident, the IIO said, but was thought to be armed and dangerous as a manhunt began. He fled the shooting scene on foot then hijacked a vehicle and headed towards Revelstoke, the IIO said.
“Police set up a road block and deployed two spike belts in an attempt to stop the vehicle. The vehicle failed to stop and shots were fired by police. Eleven expended casings from police carbines were recovered from the scene in the vicinity of the spike belts; it can be confirmed one of the bullets struck the vehicle on the driver’s wing mirror. The affected person was not hit by any police bullets,” the report said.
“The male continued to drive until he was out of sight of the police ... The police held observations at a distance of 75 metres for 41 minutes until the Police Emergency Response Team arrived. By then, the affected person had exited the vehicle, crossed the highway and made his way down a steep embankment. A police service dog was then deployed with no success. Police concluded the search at 11:42 p.m. when they set up containment around the forest.”
Thunderblanket was found dead soon after the search resumed the following morning.
He had a wound to his forearm when found, believed to be the result of the first exchange of gunfire outside Golden.
dwood@postmedia.com
On Twitter: @DamienWood_
Sheldon Kyle Thunderblanket is shown in this undated RCMP handout image. The search continues for the suspect wanted in connection with a series of events near Golden, BC on Tuesday, October 11th. THE CANADIAN PRESS
Falling on rock while fleeing RCMP claimed life of fugitive Sheldon Thunderblank
Russian couple die from carbon monoxide poisoning while having sex in car
Postmedia Network
First posted: Thursday, November 10, 2016 02:39 PM EST | Updated: Thursday, November 10, 2016 02:55 PM EST
A young Russian couple having sex died when they were overcome by carbon monoxide in a garage.
According to Russian media, the lovers -- identified only as Artem S., 18, and Anna D., 20 -- the pair had settled in their garage-parked car for some hormone-charged hijinks when they decided to turn on the ignition.
The twosome were apparently looking for some warmth as temperatures had dropped below freezing.
The Daily Mail, quoting Russian media, said the couple told family members they were going for a walk but instead ended up in the garage.
They had been dating two months and he had just graduated from catering college and hoped to open a garage.
Reports say that relatives found the tragic pair naked and locked in a loving embrace.
Commentators on social media claimed such tragedies were far too common.
According to the Daily Mail, one user said: “Such things happen pretty often. It is a lot safer to have sex behind trash cans than in a garage.”
Another added: “That’s a good death, as they both fell asleep in a good mood.”
A young Russian couple - Artem S., 18, and Anna D., 20 - died of carbon monoxide in a garage. The twosome were having sex in a running car when they died. (Twitter Photo)
Russian couple die from carbon monoxide poisoning while having sex in car | Worl
13-year-old boy killed by police while holding BB gun shot 3 times: Autopsy
Andrew Welsh-Huggins, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
First posted: Thursday, November 10, 2016 03:32 PM EST | Updated: Thursday, November 10, 2016 07:50 PM EST
COLUMBUS, Ohio — A 13-year-old black boy fatally shot by police during an investigation into a robbery report was struck three times on his left side, according to autopsy results released Thursday.
The report from Franklin County coroner Dr. Anahi Ortiz listed Tyre King’s cause of death as gunshot wounds to the head and torso and the manner of death as homicide, which is standard in the county when a person is shot, regardless of the circumstances.
The case will go to a grand jury following a police investigation to determine whether officers will face charges. It remains under investigation, police spokeswoman Denise Alex-Bouzounis said.
Tyre’s death heightened tensions over the safety of black people in Ohio’s largest city and added to a list of killings of black males by police that have attracted national attention. Dozens of demonstrators protesting the killing brought a city council meeting to a halt with chants including “Black lives matter!”
The results of the autopsy, done the day after the Sept. 14 shooting, were consistent with a review of Tyre’s body on Sept. 18 by a medical examiner hired by his family.
Because Tyre was shot on the left side, the results indicate he was running away at the time and not posing a threat to police, family attorney Sean Walton said. The medical examiner the family hired came to the same conclusion. Columbus police have declined to comment on this finding.
The family continues to believe the case should be investigated by an outside agency, Walton said.
Tyre was shot after he ran from an officer investigating a reported armed robbery and pulled a BB gun that looked like a real firearm, police said.
The police officer who shot Tyre has returned to the force, although not in his prior assignment as a patrol officer.
Officer Bryan Mason was just two days into a new assignment when he responded to a robbery call in the city’s Olde Town East neighbourhood. There he encountered a 19-year-old and Tyre, who fled.
Mason’s personnel file is full of commendations. He had been involved in other shootings, including another fatality, in which he was cleared of wrongdoing.
13-year-old boy killed by police while holding BB gun shot 3 times: Autopsy | Wo
Postmedia Network
First posted: Thursday, November 10, 2016 02:39 PM EST | Updated: Thursday, November 10, 2016 02:55 PM EST
A young Russian couple having sex died when they were overcome by carbon monoxide in a garage.
According to Russian media, the lovers -- identified only as Artem S., 18, and Anna D., 20 -- the pair had settled in their garage-parked car for some hormone-charged hijinks when they decided to turn on the ignition.
The twosome were apparently looking for some warmth as temperatures had dropped below freezing.
The Daily Mail, quoting Russian media, said the couple told family members they were going for a walk but instead ended up in the garage.
They had been dating two months and he had just graduated from catering college and hoped to open a garage.
Reports say that relatives found the tragic pair naked and locked in a loving embrace.
Commentators on social media claimed such tragedies were far too common.
According to the Daily Mail, one user said: “Such things happen pretty often. It is a lot safer to have sex behind trash cans than in a garage.”
Another added: “That’s a good death, as they both fell asleep in a good mood.”
A young Russian couple - Artem S., 18, and Anna D., 20 - died of carbon monoxide in a garage. The twosome were having sex in a running car when they died. (Twitter Photo)
Russian couple die from carbon monoxide poisoning while having sex in car | Worl
13-year-old boy killed by police while holding BB gun shot 3 times: Autopsy
Andrew Welsh-Huggins, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
First posted: Thursday, November 10, 2016 03:32 PM EST | Updated: Thursday, November 10, 2016 07:50 PM EST
COLUMBUS, Ohio — A 13-year-old black boy fatally shot by police during an investigation into a robbery report was struck three times on his left side, according to autopsy results released Thursday.
The report from Franklin County coroner Dr. Anahi Ortiz listed Tyre King’s cause of death as gunshot wounds to the head and torso and the manner of death as homicide, which is standard in the county when a person is shot, regardless of the circumstances.
The case will go to a grand jury following a police investigation to determine whether officers will face charges. It remains under investigation, police spokeswoman Denise Alex-Bouzounis said.
Tyre’s death heightened tensions over the safety of black people in Ohio’s largest city and added to a list of killings of black males by police that have attracted national attention. Dozens of demonstrators protesting the killing brought a city council meeting to a halt with chants including “Black lives matter!”
The results of the autopsy, done the day after the Sept. 14 shooting, were consistent with a review of Tyre’s body on Sept. 18 by a medical examiner hired by his family.
Because Tyre was shot on the left side, the results indicate he was running away at the time and not posing a threat to police, family attorney Sean Walton said. The medical examiner the family hired came to the same conclusion. Columbus police have declined to comment on this finding.
The family continues to believe the case should be investigated by an outside agency, Walton said.
Tyre was shot after he ran from an officer investigating a reported armed robbery and pulled a BB gun that looked like a real firearm, police said.
The police officer who shot Tyre has returned to the force, although not in his prior assignment as a patrol officer.
Officer Bryan Mason was just two days into a new assignment when he responded to a robbery call in the city’s Olde Town East neighbourhood. There he encountered a 19-year-old and Tyre, who fled.
Mason’s personnel file is full of commendations. He had been involved in other shootings, including another fatality, in which he was cleared of wrongdoing.
13-year-old boy killed by police while holding BB gun shot 3 times: Autopsy | Wo
Man falls in Yellowstone park hot spring, dies: Report
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
First posted: Tuesday, November 15, 2016 06:26 PM EST | Updated: Tuesday, November 15, 2016 06:58 PM EST
BILLINGS, Mont. — An Oregon man who died after falling into a scalding Yellowstone National Park hot spring in June was looking for a place to “hot pot,” the forbidden practice of soaking in one of the park’s thermal features, officials said.
Sable Scott told investigators that she and her 23-year-old brother, Colin, left a boardwalk near Porkchop Geyser and walked several hundred feet up a hill in search of “a place that they could potentially get into and soak,” Deputy Chief Ranger Lorant Veress told KULR-TV in an interview.
As Sable Scott took video of her brother with her cellphone on June 7, he reached down to check the water temperature and slipped and fell into a thermal pool about six feet long, four feet wide and 10 feet deep, according to a National Park Service incident record first reported by KULR.
Park officials did not release the video or a description of it, but the report said it also chronicled Sable Scott’s efforts to rescue her brother.
Search and rescue rangers spotted Colin Scott’s body floating in the pool the day of the accident, but a lightning storm prevented recovery, the report said.
The next day, workers could not find any remains in the boiling, acidic water.
“In very short order, there was a significant amount of dissolving,” Veress said.
The report included images of several signs warning people of the dangers of the park’s geothermal features and of travelling off walkways in the area where Colin Scott died.
The National Park Service did not issue any citations in the case.
Scott was on a college graduation trip with his sister at the time of his death, which came a day after six people were cited for walking off-trail at the park’s Grand Prismatic Spring.
A week later, a tourist from China was fined US$1,000 for breaking through the fragile crust in the Mammoth Hot Springs area, apparently to collect water for medicinal purposes.
Porkchop Geyser. (Getty Images)
Man falls in Yellowstone park hot spring, dies: Report | World | News | Toronto
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
First posted: Tuesday, November 15, 2016 06:26 PM EST | Updated: Tuesday, November 15, 2016 06:58 PM EST
BILLINGS, Mont. — An Oregon man who died after falling into a scalding Yellowstone National Park hot spring in June was looking for a place to “hot pot,” the forbidden practice of soaking in one of the park’s thermal features, officials said.
Sable Scott told investigators that she and her 23-year-old brother, Colin, left a boardwalk near Porkchop Geyser and walked several hundred feet up a hill in search of “a place that they could potentially get into and soak,” Deputy Chief Ranger Lorant Veress told KULR-TV in an interview.
As Sable Scott took video of her brother with her cellphone on June 7, he reached down to check the water temperature and slipped and fell into a thermal pool about six feet long, four feet wide and 10 feet deep, according to a National Park Service incident record first reported by KULR.
Park officials did not release the video or a description of it, but the report said it also chronicled Sable Scott’s efforts to rescue her brother.
Search and rescue rangers spotted Colin Scott’s body floating in the pool the day of the accident, but a lightning storm prevented recovery, the report said.
The next day, workers could not find any remains in the boiling, acidic water.
“In very short order, there was a significant amount of dissolving,” Veress said.
The report included images of several signs warning people of the dangers of the park’s geothermal features and of travelling off walkways in the area where Colin Scott died.
The National Park Service did not issue any citations in the case.
Scott was on a college graduation trip with his sister at the time of his death, which came a day after six people were cited for walking off-trail at the park’s Grand Prismatic Spring.
A week later, a tourist from China was fined US$1,000 for breaking through the fragile crust in the Mammoth Hot Springs area, apparently to collect water for medicinal purposes.
Porkchop Geyser. (Getty Images)
Man falls in Yellowstone park hot spring, dies: Report | World | News | Toronto
At first I thought you were just a tad late posting this. Nobody goes to Wisconsin in December to use an outdoor waterslide. But I see he used it for a purpose other than what it was intended.
E 2016 DARWIN AWARDS
Eighth Place
In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.
Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.
Sixth Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
Fourth Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.
The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.
HONORABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice that the window was closed.
RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more excited, and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.
AND THE WINNER IS....
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.
The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... '$hit happens'
IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL.
Just think! They won't be voting in the future!!
Eighth Place
In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.
Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.
Sixth Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
Fourth Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.
The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.
HONORABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice that the window was closed.
RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more excited, and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.
AND THE WINNER IS....
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.
The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... '$hit happens'
IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL.
Just think! They won't be voting in the future!!
hope they haven't bred yet
the laws of reality dictate that blackleaf could only know what he himself was thinking
probably that would be that you have lied again
well i doubt that could happen
the laws of reality dictate that blackleaf could only know what he himself was thinking
probably that would be that you have lied again