Just for the record, I do not have an injured, walled-off heart, nor am I brokenhearted, crushed in spirit, or any of the other things you've suggested might be reasons for my lack of faith. There's nothing significant defective about me, I am a contented, successful man who's done well so far at everything that mattered to me and I expect that will continue to the end of my life. My lack of faith, my apostasy, is due entirely to my reasoned analysis of it about 30 years ago. I've learned a lot since, but nothing that could change my mind. I lack faith because I see no reason to have it, it adds nothing to my understanding of the world--in fact it renders much of it incomprehensible and incoherent--and its claims don't make sense.