There's a huge difference between a still nude photo of a woman, and a live moving picture complete with penetration, and that's just adressing the mainstream stuff. If you're searching for that sort of thing, you won't only turn up mainstream stuff. You'll turn up all sorts of fetish stuff. Young boys shouldn't be looking at that. Young adults, fine. but not young boys.
1 In 3 Boys Heavy Porn Users
- Thread starter marygaspe
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There's a huge difference between a still nude photo of a woman, and a live moving picture complete with penetration, and that's just adressing the mainstream stuff. If you're searching for that sort of thing, you won't only turn up mainstream stuff. You'll turn up all sorts of fetish stuff. Young boys shouldn't be looking at that. Young adults, fine. but not young boys.
Sorry about it being a bad day for you, hun.
Um, yeah, having a very traumatic experience at a younger age could have devastating effects on later life, fersher.
Well, that takes care of what your kids can see at your house. But how do you talk to your kids about not looking at this sort of stuff when friends are excitedly calling them to come see what they found on the net? I think individual people tend to regulate their sexual desires fairly well, and as Hermann pointed out, will stick to stuff that doesn't freak them out or make them uncomfortable. But, when they have an outside force pushing fetish stuff on them, it worries me. Yet, how can you ever make sure that doesn't happen?
They do say that self report data is heavily flawed for a variety of reasons. I did a unit on it not too long ago for statistical analysis. One of the other things that struck me about it is the possibility that if the boys reporting it don't mentally tally it ahead of time, that's an easy answer.
We told them flat out that they would probably encounter friends who want to talk them into or lead them to things that would be harmful. There were several discussions about it. I think the first discussion about their interaction with friends was about drugs. Maybe it was sex. But anyway, we probably fed them probably more info than was necessary about whatever traps they could find themselves in, but a couple of the main traits my wife and I built into this marriage was openness and trust. We told them all we could and trusted them to do whatever they knew or felt was right. It was reciprocated; they trust us and will tell us anything if we ask.
lol
Back in my childhood it was National Geographics and a rare Playboy someone had scooped off their dad's collection.
My kids don't seem as interested in porn as my wife and I do. Wife asked them just outta curiosity. Both are in their 20s so we don't really mind whether they do or not, it's up to them. Shelley and I look at and discuss softcore porn now and then. Makes us hot. (Not going to go into details)
Thankyou:laughing7::laughing7::wave:
You went the right route IMO. When I was growing up, mom had many a frank discussion with us about sex. But, her knowledge was limited to what she could get in books at the local library, and the issues that she was aware of. She had no knowledge of some of the pitfalls that awaited us. I can't really say I blame her for that, she tried, she tried really hard. She was raised to ignore anything to do with any of the goings on south of the belt, unless it was marital, menstrual, or maternal. She fought really hard to not pass on that kind of attitude. But, certain things, like disease transmission, were just outside of her realm of knowledge. She put her daughters on birth control, and she told her son how to use condoms, but there were some high risk activities she never adressed. She talked about the importance of 'the m word' for a healthy psyche. She talked about the importance of an open and frank sex life as a corner stone for marriage. She gave me a lot. But, I just can't believe that I'm going to have to sit my kids down one day to explain to them why they shouldN'T watch gang bangs and donkey sex. *sigh*.
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Yeeah, everyone finds difficulties somewhere in life, kinda makes me wonder sometimes why our parents were so puritanical. Anyway, We explained to them about bestiality and group sex, but explained that those activities could be physically harmful, psychologically harmful, and that society pretty much frowns on it. There's no way in hell we'd have told them they had to see it. (They probably would have upchucked at the first sight of bestiality anyway).
Okay, that was my absolutely WORST typing mistake ever. I've fixed my post. Sheesh. I'm gonna go back to bed, this strep throat is taking more out of me than I thought.
So you're the guilty culprit. I've got a sore throat. Probly you gave it to me.
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.Kidding. Mine's due to a cold.
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.Kidding. Mine's due to a cold.
So you're the guilty culprit. I've got a sore throat. Probly you gave it to me.
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.Kidding. Mine's due to a cold.
Mine's due to being a mom. I made the mistake of taking my son to that pitre dish called McDonald's playland. For any mom with a hyper boy in a cold snap, this is necessary for peace and quiet. But, within a day, his throat started swelling. His sister's the only one who hasn't caught it yet. This is his 6th day off school, 9th day with the swelling. No cold symptoms, just massively swollen tonsils. Nasty.
I think the secret to keeping curiosity and over-indulgence - especially at another's home - when your own child is more carefully monitored is keeping your window of communication comfortable and always open.
A child who will be exposed to many things you would not necessarily allow in your own home may have some questions, even some repugnance towards what he or she saw, and if your child knows you are
available to answer any and all questions no matter how pornographic in detail - without a lecture or anger - you will have taken the mystique away ...
Kids have great imaginations and once the door is opened to sexuality ... the questions and desire to know more just keeps going.... if you want to be the source of good information.... welcome the queries... and maybe keep the conversation a two-way street, not shutting down the questions...
A child who will be exposed to many things you would not necessarily allow in your own home may have some questions, even some repugnance towards what he or she saw, and if your child knows you are
available to answer any and all questions no matter how pornographic in detail - without a lecture or anger - you will have taken the mystique away ...
Kids have great imaginations and once the door is opened to sexuality ... the questions and desire to know more just keeps going.... if you want to be the source of good information.... welcome the queries... and maybe keep the conversation a two-way street, not shutting down the questions...
L.Gilbert
Saying AND doing too! Sometimes parents scare their kids away because they feel awkward talking about the seamy side of life.... but it's out there... we can meet the challenge or hope it never comes up....
Saying AND doing too! Sometimes parents scare their kids away because they feel awkward talking about the seamy side of life.... but it's out there... we can meet the challenge or hope it never comes up....
Also, good point. We brought up a couple issues to talk about before the kids had a chance to. Drugs was one subject we brought up. The kids brought up the sex thing. Tobacco was one the kids asked about: specifically they said, "What would you do if we started smoking?" I said, "not in the house", and wife said, "only if you want your lungs to turn into used ashtrays".
L.Gilbert
God it's good to read about aware parents and those who practice it... your kids are very lucky!!
God it's good to read about aware parents and those who practice it... your kids are very lucky!!
dont you think you old people are kinda overreacting? my brother has tons of porn that he dosent think we know about, mostly under his mattress. it seems normal to me.