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He looks better'n that herd of dairy cows on The View now.

Oil production at an all-time high and gazillions of oil workers out of work. Or so we're told.

How could they tell?

Yeah, well, y'all Canadians don't do violence much. Not like it's the Stanley Cup or nothing. Now, don't get riled. When you do violence, you're pretty damn good at it.

Was the dark of the moon on the fifth of June In a Kenworth hauling logs Cab-over Pete with a reefer on And a Jimmy hauling hogs We was headed for bear on I one-oh 'Bout a mile outta Shakytown I said "Pigpen, this here's the Rubber Duck And I'm about to put the hammer down" --C.W. McCall

I think he's saying "rioting is hard work." Hard to dispute that.

You don't know the Irish very well.

Would that be Ottawaapolis, Ottawasota? You do understand that's a painting, right? As in. . . fiction. Washington didn't stand up in the boat, Jesus wasn't blond, and la Giocanda didn't have a captivating, ambiguous smile.

So. . . milling about a border crossing and whining about how hard-done-by you are is the Road to Freedom? Damn. Why did we bother to fight a desperate revolution if it's that easy?

It's one of those statements that's true under any circumstances, like "This too shall pass" and "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Well, after two years of farting around, they finally announced the new name of the Washington NFL franchise. The Commanders. Woo. Hoo.

The whole thing is like the bad movie Convoy. The convoy leader (Kris Kristofferson) denied that he was "leading" anything, and honestly had no agenda at all. But reporters interviewing the convoy members found every one of 'em had a different bitch: the 55-mph speed limit, the cost of fuel...

It seems that the twuck pwotest has turned into a temper tantrum. "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!" "So what, exactly, is this 'it' you're so upset about?" "Duuuuuh. . ." Somebody needs a nap.

I know you'd rather be lied to.

Nah, he's pretty skinny. Better get Dagoo, Tashtego, AND Queequeg on it.

Yep, we're a bunch of little bast. . . ions.

That fact that you don't believe anybody does anything without being paid off says more about you than it does about other folk.

So, Moosie, how long until the number of jobs in the U.S. hits zero, according to your slobbering idiot websites?

Y'know, Thomas Jefferson stole the election.

Well. . . it's been awhile since there was a good freak show in Coutts.