"You will not be punished for your anger. You will be punished by your anger." Buddha

[SirJosephPorter]

You don't recall telling me I was a right-wing religious nut? I suppose you think you did that with a cool head.
Liar.

Why, certainly, Anna. And I stand by my opinion. I have already given my reasons for saying that. When somebody quotes religious right websites one after the other (at least four of them, by my count) as Gospel truth, chances are that that person is a religious right nut.

So yes, I did it with a cool head. After that we had a fiery discussion as to whether calling somebody a right wing nut is an insulting term, and I am not convinced that it is (it is used in serious journalism, CNN, the major Canadian newspapers such as Post, Globe and Mail, Star permit its use, it has been used in Star in a serious article).

So no way was the statement made out of anger.

 

[AnnaG]

I knew you'd say that. But, whatever.

 

[SirJosephPorter]

They do not deserve anger unleashed at them, Anna; they deserve to be slapped with a lawsuit for substantial damages. Isn’t that better than getting angry? That is what I would do anyway, rather than get angry. - SJP


That would be the revenge part. - Anna

That is not revenge Anna, that is holding him accountable for his actions. Perhaps you misunderstand the concept of forgiveness, many people do. Forgiveness does not mean that the forgiven person goes scot free, he still must be held accountable for his actions. The way to hold him accountable for his actions is to sue him for substantial damages.

Revenge would be if I put rat poison in his chicken coop (because he put some in mine), or I kill his dog to get even. That would be revenge. But suing him in a court of law is simply trying to hold him accountable.

As I said, I forgive him for my sake, not his sake. But I will do my best to try to hold him accountable. But forgiveness means that I am not obsessed by it, if at the end of the day I cannot hold him accountable, I won’t be consumed by rage, anger or hatred towards that person. I simply put him out of my life (when I forgive him). But he still must be held accountable.

So make up your mind, either anger is good or its bad.

Anger is always bad, I canto think of any circumstances where anger would be good.

 

[AnnaG]

Blah blah. You're right. You're never wrong. Yeah yeah, whatever.

 

[SirJosephPorter]

Anger is good, it's what keeps a lot of us sane, also it can make positive things happen.

Anger rarely leads to anything positive, JLM. The kids who get lesson in anger from childhood (in the form of corporal punishment), I really feel sorry for them.

 

[karrie]

imo, anger should not be an emotion. It should be relegated in our lives to being a mere reaction, like jumping, or running, when something drastic happens. React, fine, but then get logical rather than reactive. Living with anger as an everyday emotion can be damaging.

 

[AnnaG]

I agree, Karrie. Not good to hang onto it.

 

[JLM]

Anger rarely leads to anything positive, JLM. The kids who get lesson in anger from childhood (in the form of corporal punishment), I really feel sorry for them.

I disagree, sometimes when a person sees something like filth and squalor, it makes him angry enough to do something about cleaning it up.

 

[JLM]

"When somebody quotes religious right websites one after the other (at least four of them, by my count) as Gospel truth, chances are that that person is a religious right nut."
Or perhaps he is just religious.

 

[SirJosephPorter]

I disagree, sometimes when a person sees something like filth and squalor, it makes him angry enough to do something about cleaning it up.

Anger wouldn’t do that, JLM, concern, care and compassion would. Anger would make you feel like killing the person responsible for it. Care and compassion would make you feel like cleaning it up.

 

[SirJosephPorter]

"When somebody quotes religious right websites one after the other (at least four of them, by my count) as Gospel truth, chances are that that person is a religious right nut."
Or perhaps he is just religious.

To me it is the same thing, JLM. In my opinion, ‘religious right’ and ‘religious right nut’ are synonymous.

 

[JLM]

Anger rarely leads to anything positive, JLM. The kids who get lesson in anger from childhood (in the form of corporal punishment), I really feel sorry for them.

I suppose different people react to anger in different ways, I can only speak on how it affects me.

 

[SirJosephPorter]

imo, anger should not be an emotion. It should be relegated in our lives to being a mere reaction, like jumping, or running, when something drastic happens. React, fine, but then get logical rather than reactive. Living with anger as an everyday emotion can be damaging.

I agree, if due to some reason you get angry, release a few expletives and be done with it. The last thing you want to do is act out of anger.

Actually I do that on the rare occasions when get I angry. I sit down, write a nasty letter to the person I am angry at. I use the most vicious words imaginable. When I am finished, I tear up the letter and throw it away.

That helps release the anger and then I am free to think over the situation logically and act accordingly.

 

[SirJosephPorter]

I suppose different people react to anger in different ways, I can only speak on how it affects me.

Oh, anger causes you to do good deeds? I find that rather surprising.

 

[karrie]

I suppose different people react to anger in different ways, I can only speak on how it affects me.

Anger can be a powerful tool. Ultimately, the desire to not cause negative emotions is what moulds our moral conscience. Anger is undeniably one of those negative reactions. When a child breaks something of someone's, ignoring it teaches the child nothing. Being angry that they were careless or reckless, does teach them something. It's an important part of human learning.

 

[JLM]

To me it is the same thing, JLM. In my opinion, ‘religious right’ and ‘religious right nut’ are synonymous.

There again we differ, "nut" to me has the connotation of mentally unbalanced or a lunatic or fanatic, whereas some religious people (my old great aunt for instance) are very sane people.

 

[JLM]

Oh, anger causes you to do good deeds? I find that rather surprising.

Why?????? I think anger can be one of the biggest motivators. Other opinions??

 

[El Barto]

this thread is pissing me off :angryfire:

 

[SirJosephPorter]

Anger can be a powerful tool. Ultimately, the desire to not cause negative emotions is what moulds our moral conscience. Anger is undeniably one of those negative reactions. When a child breaks something of someone's, ignoring it teaches the child nothing. Being angry that they were careless or reckless, does teach them something. It's an important part of human learning.

I disagree here, karrie. You are giving ignoring it or getting angry as the only alternatives. Both are inappropriate. Anger teaches the child nothing. On the part of the parent, it may lead him to administer corporal punishment to the child, to give the child a swat or a good beating. That would be the worst possible outcome.

When our son was a little kid and if he did something like that, I would sit him down and talk to him about it. I would tell him that what he did was wrong, explain to him how it was wrong and tell him that he will be punished.

Punishment would never involve physical beating, that was out. I would wait for 24 hours before I hand down the punishment, which would be denial of privileges.

So the two alternative you gave, ignoring it or getting angry, both are totally unacceptable to me.

 

[karrie]

this thread is pissing me off :angryfire:

lol. leave it to Bart.