Why did we stop inventing gods?
- Thread starter French Patriot
- Start date
Has this ever happened to you?
"Ugh! Another Sunday church service ruined! When are we going to get some new gods? I'm really getting tired of the old ones!"
"Geez Dave, I had no idea you were tired of the ones you had! But I have a surprise for you! You remember that guy who invents stuff and sells it on TV? His name is..."
"I know! I know! It's Ron Popeel! He's great, but I thought he was dead."
"So did a lot of other people, Dave. I saw an interview years ago when Ron told Merv Griffin or Mike Douglas, or whoever, that he wasn't going to die until he had the perfect deity."
"Wow, I had no idea! What's the perfect deity, Marg?"
"Ron says it has to be easy to prepare, worship and be suitable for the whole family. It doesn't matter how old you are, it must have the perfect blend of sweetness, fire and brimstone, compassion and love."
"That's a tall order. Have you ever read the Old Testament?"
"Goodness yes! God was a great blend of tough guy and a loving deity. Someone we could all worship and enjoy!"
"Yeah, I know what you mean. Even with the flood, the pestilence, the famine, rains of toads and the locust swarms, He still had time to add beautiful gardens, music and a land of milk and honey."
"But I didn't care for the camels..."
"Yes, but that's only because one sneezed in your face at the Toronto Zoo."
"Oh boy, how can I forget! But anyway, tell me about Ron's new invention."
"Well Dave, ancient gods were always throwing fits about worshipping idols, not following the rules and speaking IN A LOUD, ECHOING VOICE! Ron went into the kitchen, a good old kitchen in the USA, and made his latest and greatest invention, Popeel's Gummi Gods!"
"Yum, Gummi Gods. Tell me about them."
"You bet, Gummi Gods are small, easy to carry, sweet tasting chewable deities, made with love, but no sugar, so your teeth, and your soul, won't decay. So good, they are guaranteed can save the godless, like those mountain men and people hat watch the Food Network. Diabetics will love the fact that their blood glucose won't skyrocket! They're made from Splenda."
"But what about the bottom line? Are they easy to make? Can you get them premade? These days, we're all busy doing stuff!"
"Yes and yes. Gummi Gods come as an easy to make home kit or prepackaged and available at your local store. Each box comes with it's own eternal guarantee. No demons, Satanic creatures or MSG (Muslims Shooting Guns)."
"Well, just what about those Muslims, Marg?"
"I'm afraid they won't be able to partake. Gummi Gods will be flooding the market, and they aren't halal. The reason? The gummi name comes from the jelly. It's made from pig parts. No worries about Muslims stealing yor god or your lunch! But Islam isn't a true religion anyway. It was a mistake that developed because of camel sweat."
"Which means Ron will be hard at work cooking up something to take out the sweat stains of Islam! It's win/win!"
"Gummi Gods come packaged in boxes of 20, 50 or 1,000 for the weekend retreaters. At 10 cents per, they're a cheap way to salvation. Certainly less expensive than what the televangelists are offering."
"What about our friends the Jews? They aren't supposed to eat pork either."
"Funny you should say that, Dave. Ron is working on a gelatin, Star of David shaped Gummi Gods for our Shalom friends."
"Thanks Marg. I'll be watching my local grocer and church or synagogue for them!"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xi3GgoLtlWk
"Ugh! Another Sunday church service ruined! When are we going to get some new gods? I'm really getting tired of the old ones!"
"Geez Dave, I had no idea you were tired of the ones you had! But I have a surprise for you! You remember that guy who invents stuff and sells it on TV? His name is..."
"I know! I know! It's Ron Popeel! He's great, but I thought he was dead."
"So did a lot of other people, Dave. I saw an interview years ago when Ron told Merv Griffin or Mike Douglas, or whoever, that he wasn't going to die until he had the perfect deity."
"Wow, I had no idea! What's the perfect deity, Marg?"
"Ron says it has to be easy to prepare, worship and be suitable for the whole family. It doesn't matter how old you are, it must have the perfect blend of sweetness, fire and brimstone, compassion and love."
"That's a tall order. Have you ever read the Old Testament?"
"Goodness yes! God was a great blend of tough guy and a loving deity. Someone we could all worship and enjoy!"
"Yeah, I know what you mean. Even with the flood, the pestilence, the famine, rains of toads and the locust swarms, He still had time to add beautiful gardens, music and a land of milk and honey."
"But I didn't care for the camels..."
"Yes, but that's only because one sneezed in your face at the Toronto Zoo."
"Oh boy, how can I forget! But anyway, tell me about Ron's new invention."
"Well Dave, ancient gods were always throwing fits about worshipping idols, not following the rules and speaking IN A LOUD, ECHOING VOICE! Ron went into the kitchen, a good old kitchen in the USA, and made his latest and greatest invention, Popeel's Gummi Gods!"
"Yum, Gummi Gods. Tell me about them."
"You bet, Gummi Gods are small, easy to carry, sweet tasting chewable deities, made with love, but no sugar, so your teeth, and your soul, won't decay. So good, they are guaranteed can save the godless, like those mountain men and people hat watch the Food Network. Diabetics will love the fact that their blood glucose won't skyrocket! They're made from Splenda."
"But what about the bottom line? Are they easy to make? Can you get them premade? These days, we're all busy doing stuff!"
"Yes and yes. Gummi Gods come as an easy to make home kit or prepackaged and available at your local store. Each box comes with it's own eternal guarantee. No demons, Satanic creatures or MSG (Muslims Shooting Guns)."
"Well, just what about those Muslims, Marg?"
"I'm afraid they won't be able to partake. Gummi Gods will be flooding the market, and they aren't halal. The reason? The gummi name comes from the jelly. It's made from pig parts. No worries about Muslims stealing yor god or your lunch! But Islam isn't a true religion anyway. It was a mistake that developed because of camel sweat."
"Which means Ron will be hard at work cooking up something to take out the sweat stains of Islam! It's win/win!"
"Gummi Gods come packaged in boxes of 20, 50 or 1,000 for the weekend retreaters. At 10 cents per, they're a cheap way to salvation. Certainly less expensive than what the televangelists are offering."
"What about our friends the Jews? They aren't supposed to eat pork either."
"Funny you should say that, Dave. Ron is working on a gelatin, Star of David shaped Gummi Gods for our Shalom friends."
"Thanks Marg. I'll be watching my local grocer and church or synagogue for them!"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xi3GgoLtlWk
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As you command.
Where we off to this time??
[youtube]5GCSWEgZT94[/youtube]
No. None of the below.
You are neither French, nor patriot.
You only are a Zionist disguising with a pseudonym.
Humans stop fearing gods, and the people were no longer easily fooled into giving up their money for blessing by con-artists/priests
Some folks when they think of "religious " people have an inbred hillbilly who goes to tent revival meetings in mind. In the Elmer Gantry tradition.
The masses got cell phones and they all walk around praying from them during all of their waking hours.... billions of Twitter Monks walking, praying from the Face Book, meditating, ...
You can take gods away from humans but you can't stop them from following something.
What? If you don't realize your Gods you go nowhere, you have a god you should be fearful, give up your money
Sure but not educated enough to drop their foolish belief in the supernatural.
They may be educated but they are not too bright.
Regards
DL
I am a work in progress but since the so called religious run from me when I start to discuss morals, I would say that I am more moral than the average Christian who thinks his genocidal son murdering god is moral.
Muslims are in that same immoral category as they do not practice or recognize the Golden Rule which many think is the first word in morality.
Since I have a criminal mind and delinquent attitude, I would say that I have come a long way as compared to most religionists.
Are you a moral man/god Motar?
Regards
DL
On this, I agree.
Martin Luther saw the immorality of the early church selling god's favors and speaking for a god they did not know or even believe in.
We should all recognize that anyone who says anything of a supernatural god is knowingly lying.
Regards
DL
True that we have many sheeple and following is natural to them, but they should recognize that what they are following are men speaking/lying about supernatural gods when they should be following man/gods as the ancients did.
What is God? | Big Think
Strange how the ancients were wiser on this than modern man.
Regards
DL
The basic flaw in your reasoning is that you appear to think it's a matter of education.
Ah, well. I haven't really seen any signs of exceptional intelligence in your posts either.
Perhaps, one needs to be well educated to come to the realization that anything is possible. Many things are improbable but reality is mutable enough to allow for grand creators.
For the same reason conditions on earth are no longer conducive for life to just pop up out of nowhere.
Yahweh Bin Yahweh is the bearer of that great light that shines in the darkness of every mans heart. He still in jail or did they let that scoundrel loose?
Such a creator would wish to be known. Right?
Instead, he hides and threatens those who will not corrupt their minds with supernatural beliefs to a life, eh, death in hell.
If that god exists then he is quite the prick. Right?
Regards
DL
Indeed. We have learned a lot over time.
That is why belief is on such a decline in the West.
Regards
DL
The sun is the sustainer of our lives but is hardly a sentient being.
Regards
DL
If he is shining but has not the power to dispel darkness, then he is hardly a worthy light.
Such a light should be able to look about and say, where is the darkness.
Regards
DL
Nice reply there DL. I'm assuming the sarcasm went over your head. I'll also assume you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer.