Dear Durka:
- Thread starter DurkaDurka
- Start date
My powers seem to have been restored with this beverage I have been drinking. Ask, and you shall be heard.
Dear Durka,
I just turned 25 which is 1/4 of a century. Seeing as I most likely will not make it to be 100, I probably have roughly 35% of my life gone. I am hitting a pre, pre mid-life crisis. HELP!
I just turned 25 which is 1/4 of a century. Seeing as I most likely will not make it to be 100, I probably have roughly 35% of my life gone. I am hitting a pre, pre mid-life crisis. HELP!
My mystical powers usually need alcohol to activate them, but I'll see what I can do. :x I will get back to you on this shortly, I have to consult Absolut Vodka.
According to Absolut Vodka, you shall immediately go to the mall and purchase the following:
1. Michael Bolton's Greatest Hits
2. 40oz of Peach Liquer
3. 80's style mullet wig
4. 1 bottle of cheap perfume
5. 1 pair of leather type jeans
6. 1 Neon belly shirt
7. 1 tube of bright red lipstick
With these items you will be able to replicate a genuine cougar, go prowl young lady.
1. Michael Bolton's Greatest Hits
2. 40oz of Peach Liquer
3. 80's style mullet wig
4. 1 bottle of cheap perfume
5. 1 pair of leather type jeans
6. 1 Neon belly shirt
7. 1 tube of bright red lipstick
With these items you will be able to replicate a genuine cougar, go prowl young lady.
Thanks you so much Durka. I will run there now.
Want me to PM you a picture or video of me on the prowl and show you my progress.
Why is that funny. Don`t you want to know the progress of the people you help?
hehe
Of course I do. I wish you the best of luck in your pursuit of leather pants.
I am thinking about making them myself. I think that might help me feel like I am worth something. I mean, making a pair of leather pants really has always been my dream. I wondering on color tho, is yellow too flashy?
I would go with Red, and attach little tassels to the sides, they would look very 1982
Dear Durka,
With your infinite knowledge of the impaired can you tell me if it is possible to extract memories lost to an excess of LSD in youth?:?:
With your infinite knowledge of the impaired can you tell me if it is possible to extract memories lost to an excess of LSD in youth?:?:
Dear Durka,
With your infinite knowledge of the impaired can you tell me if it is possible to extract memories lost to an excess of LSD in youth?:?:
Well... I have been trying to extract the memories lost due to excess lsd in my youth as well. What I am thinking is:
1. Have a lava lamp running full tilt
2. Consume at least 18 beers
3. Dim the regular lights
4. Light up a fat doob
5. Throw on some doors or led zeppelin
6. Have windows media player loop trippy virtualizations
7. Lay back and enjoy the slideshow... woot
I'lll post my findings later. :?:
Durka2:
I want to be taller, thinner and better hung. Is that a sin? If so, which one(s)?
Also, is it a sin to think you are smarter than everybody else if you actually are smarter than everybody else? Isn't that kind of like being better - just a self-evident quality that should be obvious to all with eyes to see, ears to listen and a wallet to buy me a beer?
In all false modesty,
Pangloss
I want to be taller, thinner and better hung. Is that a sin? If so, which one(s)?
Also, is it a sin to think you are smarter than everybody else if you actually are smarter than everybody else? Isn't that kind of like being better - just a self-evident quality that should be obvious to all with eyes to see, ears to listen and a wallet to buy me a beer?
In all false modesty,
Pangloss
Pangloss, you need to buy subscripions to Maxim magizne if you want to look like Ben Afleck.
not sure if he is hung though, I'll have to ask J-Lo.I can't comment on whether is it a sin to think you are smarter then everyone since I have never experinced that or anything close. If you can quote literature like the dude in good will hunting you might be able to score a free beer from someone though. :angry3: