Dear Durka,
I just turned 25 which is 1/4 of a century. Seeing as I most likely will not make it to be 100, I probably have roughly 35% of my life gone. I am hitting a pre, pre mid-life crisis. HELP!
My mystical powers usually need alcohol to activate them, but I'll see what I can do. :x I will get back to you on this shortly, I have to consult Absolut Vodka.
According to Absolut Vodka, you shall immediately go to the mall and purchase the following:
1. Michael Bolton's Greatest Hits
2. 40oz of Peach Liquer
3. 80's style mullet wig
4. 1 bottle of cheap perfume
5. 1 pair of leather type jeans
6. 1 Neon belly shirt
7. 1 tube of bright red lipstick
With these items you will be able to replicate a genuine cougar, go prowl young lady.
Thanks you so much Durka. I will run there now.
Want me to PM you a picture or video of me on the prowl and show you my progress.
Yes, that would be lovely. lmao.
Why is that funny. Don`t you want to know the progress of the people you help?
hehe
Of course I do. I wish you the best of luck in your pursuit of leather pants.
I am thinking about making them myself. I think that might help me feel like I am worth something. I mean, making a pair of leather pants really has always been my dream. I wondering on color tho, is yellow too flashy?
I would go with Red, and attach little tassels to the sides, they would look very 1982
Dear Durka,
With your infinite knowledge of the impaired can you tell me if it is possible to extract memories lost to an excess of LSD in youth?:?:
Durka2:
I want to be taller, thinner and better hung. Is that a sin? If so, which one(s)?
Also, is it a sin to think you are smarter than everybody else if you actually are smarter than everybody else? Isn't that kind of like being better - just a self-evident quality that should be obvious to all with eyes to see, ears to listen and a wallet to buy me a beer?
In all false modesty,
Pangloss