I was shunned by my family when I married her and by her family when we split up. If you think this kind of disfunction is limited to Mormons you need to give your head a shake. :roll:
B.C. Supreme Court upholds ban on polygamy
- Thread starter SLM
- Start date
I was shunned by my family when I married her and by her family when we split up. If you think this kind of disfunction is limited to Mormons you need to give your head a shake. :roll:
Does this have anything to do with the topic, which was about polygamy in Bountiful B.C.?
Just showing how your complaint and depiction of the disfunctionality in Bountiful can apply to non-polygamists also.
No, the topic is about polygamy, and whether it is legal or not.
It is not specific to Bountiful, BC.
I think the decision said polygamy brought harm to women and children from the news report was last night. They also said though, that the law cannot stop several people from living under one roof so to speak so from those words, I would take it that this sick way of life may bring about some form of living together where they could possibly create their own wording to make things binding without using the term "married". They say it will take years to straighten this out. If Mr. Harper is to stay true to his words, he better enact some law that puts a dead end to this fast.
I can't believe anyone would even ask that quesiton.
Don't you think the more appropriate term would be "relative" - They all look relative in Bountiful!!!
And that is exactly the reason for a one on one marriage. Being a wife in every legal right. So a guy has 5 - 10 wives all legally married to him. (her to him/him to her whatever way anyone wants to call it), just how many ways does anyone get to split the sheets anyway? What if wife #1 feels rejected and wants out? Does she get 1/5 of everything? So they are stopped from marrying 14 year olds. So Mommy #1 leaves and wants to take the children she is the biological mother to, with her. Do you think at this point any of this changes and becomes any different than any other divorce? I'm sure it would. The other 4 wives would probably have to stick up for husband #1 and only, and say that she was a bad mother and should not be allowed to remove her children from their father, their siblings, their "other" mothers. How messy can all of this get? Just about as messy as anything can with kids so mixed up they won't know where to go, what to believe or who to believe. You couldn't be more right when you say they risk losing everything.
I always took you for a conservative. I always figured social engineering was the realm of the lefties.
Maybe, just maybe, you are the type that just begs for shunning.
A one on one marriage has the capacity, with extended family and the influence of zealous belief systems, to do all those same things to women. It's when they can no longer turn to the law without facing charges themselves that things get REALLY risky for the women involved, and that's exactly what these polygamy laws perpetuate.
I'm not surprised. You've never really struck me as somebody that attacks a problem logically.
Because it becomes a mind game. Who does he love best? Whose children are the most important to him? If he was forced to choose, who would he choose? Who will he sleep with tonight? The list goes on. What about the men who want to add in the 14 year olds? How does an older woman feel about her husband using a child? Should we say abusing a child and what can be done about it? The whole thing is revolting. My very strong opinion is - if you cannot be monogamous - don't get married. If you are a person who cannot commit to one person, don't put the illusion out there by getting married. I made a commitment 45 years ago that I have never broken. I believe my husband made and has kept that same commitment. Can I prove he has - of course not. I have no reason to suspect otherwise and no reason to go digging. He comes home everynight to me. He goes out - with me. If he's not with me, he's with our sons. He has always said that he could never cheat based on knowing how he would feel if I cheated on him. Is life perfect? Of course not. We have some real screaming matches sometimes and we always have. I never fear that he is going to leave me because I know he's not. He's also never going to have another woman. That's what making a commitment is about. That's what vows are about. Where we promised to be true unto each other, forsaking all others. True unto each other does not mean until someone else I'm attracted to comes along -even if it's a one night stand.
These are my feelings. I claim ownership for myself but while others might not own up to their true feelings, I'm pretty certain that I am far from being alone in my feelings.
But Bountiful was where this whole cluster---k started. If there were no Bountiful, we
wouldn't be talking.
Who said polygamy only means one man with several wives?
Who said polygamy means marrying a 14 year old?
Who said that monogamous marriages are all committed and faithful?
None of what you said is necessarily applicable to polygamy.
There is a woman with two husbands who'se been chalenging the laws as well, so I think that's a flawed assertion. The issue of polygamy isn't new, and it's not confined to Bountiful. Bountiful is unique only in that it applies to chidlren in their minds.
Are you saying that the BC Supreme Court ruling only applies to Bountiful? The law about polygamy only applies to that one community?
True for the most part. However, it's not just Bountiful. I have spoken at other times about a family our church sponsored. They came from Albania. In one apartment bldg. in Vernon, one family took up most of the units. I'm talking cousins here also. The single family our church took on (many churches took part) had just one mother and one father but included all children and their spouses (again one on one marriages) and grandchildren. Some of the cousins had two wives and children by both. Now that got confusing. The apartments were all 2 bedrooms. They were set up where one wife and children lived in one apartment and the other wife and children lived in another. It wasn't up to anyone to ask where "Daddy" lived. Because they were refugees, it was overlooked on a legal basis. It was overlooked period. One other family had two mothers and two grown children. Both "children" were from one woman. The first wife was barren so, her husband married another one. She was treated with respect by both the second wife and the adult children. She was clearly un-comfortable with visitors at least. But - that might simply have meant she was just shy. She was shown respect but that's not the same as being shown love and at no time (and I was there a lot) did I ever see any of the other 3 show her any emotion of any kind. I always felt bad for her because she would say hello and then go to her room like someone who had been dismissed. She could not speak english (niether could the other wife) and the husband had been killed before they came to Canada. At least in their case there wasn't any children married to old men. Where there was more than one wife, the wives appeared to be about the same age.
Bountiful has brought this to the attention of the public. I don't believe they can suddenly start arresting people for it or even dissolving the marriages. I think they will have to draw a line and set an end date. I think they will do something like annul all marriages to children and the children will be sent back home to the parents. Because they have now stated they will up-hold the law in this matter, anyone marrying another woman from this day forward, would likely be considered arrestable.
Society has a right to ban practices that harm people. Polygamy harms young men who are forced to leave their families while teens, this is a burden on society and an abdication of family reponsibilities.
You can count on one hand the number of women with more than one husband in Canada. Size matters here. Its smaller than swinging clubs.
You can count on one hand the number of women with more than one husband in Canada. Size matters here. Its smaller than swinging clubs.
If someone said polygamy only applied to men, it wasn't me. This whole thread has been using the term "he" but I think we all know two things without it being an issue here. 1. Polygamy applies to a person with more than one spouse. 2. You'll find a lot more men with multiple wives than you will find women with multiple husbands.
No one said polygamy means marrying a 14 year old. It can and does include marrying a 14 year old as one of your spouses, particulary in Bountiful. You are nitpicking.
No one said monogamous marriages are all commited and faithful. I said they should be. I also said that was MY opinion. I despise those who cheat and are too weak to keep their commitment.
Polygamy doesn't harm them. Forcing them to do things they don't want to harms them