Quote: Originally Posted by Zan
Semantics. Harm is harm.
But what is harm? We do lots of things that harm us. The problem is the microscope we put ourselves under and the ridiculous height we set the bar. In the end, outside of serious abuse, children grow up and have kids of their own as we have done for thousands of years. Only in the last couple of decades, have we made a sport out of singling out poor behavior.
Many a child has benefited from splitting a couple of cords of wood or meeting the switch or leather strap behind the woodshed. Granted we are pretty far from that now, still people manage to survive and grow up to be good people.
Most of the time today, I see kids that have everything, never get a harsh word uttered at them and suffer from neglect and poor self extreme because their parents are elsewhere earning a living, decompressing from the stress of a high pressure/ high wage job. Many many more self-medicate in order to take on the roles that are demanded by kids, friends, and those who take a good look at others to make their own lives a look a little better.
Growing up, both parents drank, smoked, sister in laws drank and smoked, one brother smoked both drank both sisters drank and smoked. I don't smoke, I drink socially though rarely. I have an eating disorder. But that isn't because of what they did, it's my own mind that has created it and now starting to deal with it.
Babies used to get hauled around on their mother's back until they could be dropped and walk along themselves at which time their brothers, or sisters or any other kid in the clan would slap them around for fun and education.
Most middle class kids cry if you say no to them now.
Someone who is out of control and drinking heavily while being responsible for young children is a problem. Some mom breast feeding while snorkered in her own home after a big fight with her husband or baby daddy or whatever, is an overly nosy nanny state getting out of control.
I don't think there is any one here who could possibly be anything but a monster if we filled the home with cameras and watched every move they made night and day with the expectations we hold others to.
Parenting isn't an easy job and no one does it perfectly. No one.