Why Won't Anyone Date Me?

[Twila]

I mean, I'm not too needy. Just because he got a restraining order against me doesn't mean the medicine is helping now. Okay, so he didn't call me back. Boiling his chinchilla was only my way of telling him that it is unacceptable to pretend he doesn't know me when it is SO OBVIOUS THAT I AM THE ONE WHO IS SENDING ALL THOSE INSTANT MESSAGES TO HIM. I am 33, look 18, act like grown-up. I expect someone to give me lots of cheese at all times. Do you like cheese? Sometimes I take the 38 Geary even though I don't live on that line. I hear that is called the "Husband Express" because of all the husbands on it. I guess that is what I am looking for. A husband. Here is a husband haiku:

where is my husband
i last saw him on polk street
in some stranger's car

That's another thing. I have no time for *****s. Are you a *****? Then don't call me. Are you planning on being a *****? Call me, but when you become a ***** don't call me anymore. Are you from Nebraska? Don't call me because you will creep me out because Nebraska has such a strange shape. I have shape issues, and I cannot deal with anything remotely Nebraska-shaped. Also, Nebraska is just chock-full-of-*****s. I think my feelings are best-expressed in the following haiku:

i hate nebraska
****ing creepy nebraska
die mother****ers

..................................... okay the medicine is kicking in. Now where was I? Oh yeah, husbands. Does anyone want to go on a date with me? Please? I'll give you a dollar. I am 5 feet 1 inches tall (look 6' 3"). Licky licky licky licky licky. I love you long time until News Radio comes on at 11:30 because I love Andy Dick.

No freaks.


Other ways to contact poster:
Throwing your toys on the sidewalk and screaming
PostingID: 2389671

best of craigslist : Why won't anyone date me?

Too Funny!

 

[EagleSmack]

This could be a good thread to talk about those "crazy/psycho" relations we have had.

 

[Spade]

YouTube - Dating Losers

 

[VanIsle]

Alright Spade - fess up - Which one are you?

 

[Spade]

Alright Spade - fess up - Which one are you?

YouTube - Dating Losers: Frustrated Video Dater - Blooper

 

[lone wolf]

The scary part is, that COULD be a plentyoffish profile....

Thanks Twila

 

[Nuggler]

:lol: Thanks for that, Twila:

I read the rest of them. ROFL.

good'uns

I'd let you do my hair, if I had enough left to do.:-(

:laughing8:

 

[Twila]

I'd let you do my hair, if I had enough left to do.

hmmm, how about a scalp massage instead then? They feel like heaven...Never underestimate the power of a good massage.

 

[VanIsle]

YouTube - Dating Losers: Frustrated Video Dater - Blooper

Thanks - I thought so. By the way - 26 yrs. old. You are so funny!;-) You did forget that I know you and I are the same age. Never tell what you don't want other people to remember. :lol::lol:

 

[hermite]

Yo, Twila, I'd date ya, babe. LOL. Too funny. Thanks for a good laugh.

 

[Twila]

Yo, Twila, I'd date ya, babe. LOL. Too funny. Thanks for a good laugh.

ahhhhhh! thanks! everyone needs a little positive affirmation now and again...

 

[Nuggler]

:-(Awwwwwww poop

You mean that scalp massageeee thing there was a joke??

Holeeeeeeee crap!!

Them lice'l be all pissed off eh. They is usual dormant eh. But, they's like recreation. Dodgin fingernails n'all

dandruff'l be flakin up a storm.

speekin of flakes
time fer bed

niteall.