You sound worried.
Speaking of obsessions.
BTW: I'm more apt to litigate than Ford, so make sure you don't infringe on my copyrights.
Toronto Police obtain crack video of Ford
- Thread starter mentalfloss
- Start date
BTW: I'm more apt to litigate than Ford, so make sure you don't infringe on my copyrights.
Interesting to see how these budgets really get done. It doesn't seem like Ford has any clue how to actually implement his vision of a 1.75% tax increase with a new subway and a lower LTT. All he can do is yell at staff to tell them to cut more, but he is very light on specifics as to what should be cut.
A number of publications are picking up on the fact that he hasn't identified any gravy yet.
Rob Ford scandal gets porn parody flick, bus tour
By Don Peat ,City Hall Bureau Chief
First posted: Monday, November 25, 2013 08:56 PM EST | Updated: Monday, November 25, 2013 09:04 PM EST
TORONTO - Mayor Rob Ford’s ongoing crack cocaine scandal got even weirder Monday with a porn parody movie hitting the Internet and an Etobicoke bus tour organized by self-proclaimed evangelical Satan worshippers.
Ford has been under a cloud of controversy since he admitted to smoking crack while in a “drunken stupor,” but despite the admission he has refused to resign and denied he is a drug addict or an alcoholic.
“The Rob Ford Sex Tape — A Parody!” was released online by woodrocket.com on Monday.
In the strangest and most sex-filled turn of the Ford saga so far, the almost half-hour video mocks the mayor of Canada’s largest city with several none-too-subtle references to many of his gaffes including blurting out the word “p----” on live TV, smoking crack and walking into a camera. All those jokes come in the first three minutes ahead of more than 20 minutes of X-rated scenes.
The half-hour parody video written and directed by Canadian Lee Roy Myers features a portly actor with a Canadian accent who drinks himself into a drunken stupor, smokes some crack cocaine and then — spoiler alert — has sex with a prostitute.
Ford, the porn parody character, is played by two actors — Peter O’Tool plays the mayor while another actor plays the mayor’s private parts.
The video opens with O’Tool in a rumpled suit, sitting on a couch, watching TV and drinking.
“Holy crud, all Canadian Netflix has on is the Trailer Park Boys, what kind of example is that for the Canadian people?” he starts out.
Someone off camera asks him if he wants to smoke crack.
“No way, I’m not nearly inebriated enough,” he says, before finishing his drink.
“Alright, I’m ready.”
The porn parody of Ford dropped the same day the Clovenpath Ministries, an outreach ministry dedicated to worshipping Satan, started the “RoFo bus tour” through Etobicoke with stops at the scandal hot spots including the Windsor Rd. home frequented by the mayor and the Esso station where police surveillance chronicled his meetups with alleged drug dealer Sandro Lisi.
Pastor Morgan Wilkes — who identifies himself as an “evangelical prophet of Satan” — said they had five tours Monday for around 25 people.
“I understand this kind of harassment and such that RoFo is going through right now,” Wilkes told the Toronto Sun.
“I want to dispel right now any ideas that we are doing this to ridicule the mayor because that is not at all the case. We are doing this to honour him because the mayor and I, we share a lot of the same virtues, a lot of the same agenda ... we both have keen interest in lust, fantasy, desire, extreme wealth, influence, power.”
Wilkes hopes the tour can raise money for an outreach centre in Las Vegas.
He denied repeatedly that the tour was a joke.
“I’m an evangelical prophet of Satan,” Wilkes said.
Rob Ford scandal gets porn parody flick, bus tour | Toronto & GTA | News | Toronto Sun
Porn star wants to film with Mayor Rob Ford
By Don Peat ,City Hall Bureau Chief First posted: Tuesday, November 26, 2013 12:28 PM EST | Updated: Tuesday, November 26, 2013 06:07 PM EST
TORONTO - Call it the naughty side of Ford Nation.
Mayor Rob Ford has been offered a starring role in an X-rated movie.
TMZ revealed Tuesday that Vivid Entertainment star Brandy Aniston wants to co-star in an adult video with Ford — who has made worldwide headlines in the wake of his crack cocaine scandal.
The news came just a day after a porn parody video of Ford was posted online by woodrocket.com.
In an interview with Newstalk 1010’s Jim Richards on Tuesday afternoon, Aniston said she thinks Ford is “cute.”
“He’s like a big teddy bear. Who couldn’t think he is cute?” she told Jim Richards Showgram.
Aniston was asked if she would “really go through with this” in the unlikely event Ford agreed.
“I don’t think my bosses would give me much of a choice,” she said.
Asked how she thought Ford would perform, the porn star said she didn’t know.
“Maybe if he was having one of those nights … maybe he would be great,” she said.
Aniston has starred in several adult movies including Breaking Bad XXX.
Ford’s office didn’t respond to a media request about the offer.
Porn star Brandy Aniston wants to co-star in an adult video with Mayor Rob Ford. (Toronto Sun files)
Porn star wants to film with Mayor Rob Ford | Toronto & GTA | News | Toronto Sun
Draft script of Rob Ford porn Crackalicious 2
By Mike Strobel ,Toronto Sun First posted: Tuesday, November 26, 2013 06:21 PM EST | Updated: Tuesday, November 26, 2013 06:30 PM EST
TORONTO - I warned you for weeks. There’s a Rob Ford sex tape out there, somewhere.
I’ve been on my knees, praying I’m wrong.
But now porn star Brandy Aniston, of Vivid Entertainment, has dangled a starring role in our mayor’s face. Rob is “kinda cute, in a big, teddy bear kind of way,” she tells TMZ.
That’s just dandy, Brandy. It’ll be the next Deep Throat. As a public service, I’ve written a draft script.
Title: Crackalicious 2.
Scene 1: The living room of a bungalow on Windsor Dr. in Etobicoke. Brandy Aniston lounges on a puffy black leather couch. She wears nothing but an Argos jersey, #69, and nine-inch glass heels. A Bob Marley poster looms on the wall behind her. The doorbell rings. She bounces up and opens the door. (Sound of small airplane overhead.)
Brandy: “Well, hello there, big boy. You come to fix my plumbing?”
(It’s Rob Ford, in a pinstriped suit, NFL tie and a toolbelt jangling about his waist.)
Rob: “You betcha, little lady. You’re my 809th returned call of the day. Man, I’m tired.” (He mops his brow.) “Two hundred potholes, 75 sewage complaints, 101 tax screwups, 420 bylaw beefs, nine weed pickups and a *****cat stuck up a tree. You’re my third plumbing job. Phone never quits.” (More mopping of brow, pulls veal sandwich from jacket pocket.) “I sure picked a bad day to cut down on my eating.”
Brandy. “Poooor baby. What can I get you?”
Rob (brightening): “How ’bout some fried chicken?”
Brandy (winks seductively). “Leg or breast?”
Rob: “Whoa, forget it, little lady. I’ve got more than enough to eat at home.”
Brandy: “Whatever you say, sugar. But man cannot live on veal parmesan alone. Anything else I can do?” (She hikes up her jersey.)
Rob (licks his lips, suggestively): “Well, I need a new director of logistics and operations. There’s just so much to do. Damn that Gravy Train. So little time.” (Mops brow again, pulls vodka mickey from other pocket.) “I sure picked a bad day to cut down on my boozing.”
Brandy: “Pinch my bum.” (He obliges.) “There, feel better?”
Rob: “What? That’s a complete and total, 110% lie. I never TOUCHED you.”
Brandy: “Easy, Robbie. No one’s watching.” (Camera pans to police officer peeking in window.)
Rob (stammering.) “OK, I did it. Just once. Maybe. I don’t remember. Drunken stupor. Sorry, sorry, sorry.”
Brandy: “Don’t be sorry, stud, I’m not some party-pooper in sensible shoes. Do it again?” (He does.)
Rob (grinning sheepishly): “First fun I had all day. You shoulda seen budget committee. They’re all against me, especially that sneaky “The New Norm” Kelly. Mammoliti’s all I got left, other than 40% of voters.” (More mopping, pulls joint from pants pocket.) “Jeez. I sure picked a bad day to cut down on my weed.”
Brandy (purring admiringly): “Nice tools you got there, Mr. Mayor.” (She unbuckles his belt, and a couple of shirt buttons, curls a tanned leg around him.)
Rob: “Maybe you could fix it so you’re in a cellphone photo with some of those damn councillors. A couple of them are heavy-duty party animals, you know. Bloody hypocrites. Makes me crazy.” (Mops some more, pulls pipe from shirt pocket.) “I sure picked a bad day to cut down on my crack cocaine.”
Brandy: “I know just what you need, you 330 pounds of fun, you. C’mere.” (They undress. Camera zooms to her dropped jaw, the shock and awe in her eyes.)
Rob (grinning proudly): “Andy Donato was wrong, sugarplum. They took all my powers, but I still got <i>that.</i>”
Scene 2: The bedroom. Another window, another cop. Camera pans to … (assorted improvised physical activity, much too much for a family newspaper. Assorted moaning, groaning, ending with a cry of “subways, subways, SUBWAYS!”
Brandy (close-up, sighing contentedly, smoking cigarette): “Well, you got my vote.”
(Fade to black.)
Draft script of Rob Ford porn Crackalicious 2 | Toronto & GTA | News | Toronto Sun
Ford porn parody sequel not out of the question
By Don Peat ,City Hall Bureau Chief First posted: Tuesday, November 26, 2013 10:11 PM EST | Updated: Tuesday, November 26, 2013 11:22 PM EST
TORONTO - The man behind the Rob Ford porn parody says the embattled mayor was “ripe for parodying.”
Lee Roy Myers, the director and writer of “The Rob Ford Sex Tape — A Parody!” said they couldn’t resist the story of the mayor that has been under a cloud of controversy since he admitted to smoking crack while in a “drunken stupor.”
The parody was released Monday on woodrocket.com and features a portly actor playing the mayor, includes several Ford-related jokes and then jumps into around 20 minutes of X-rated action.
“His recent explosion of scandals has put him in the public eye worldwide and as a public figure he’s expected to be more conservative and represent his city and his province and his country better,” Myers told the Toronto Sun Tuesday. “This to me is probably a great time to look at the fact he’s living this … drug lifestyle and add the aspect of the sex to it ourselves.
“We know he’s been quoted using the p-word … we thought as a parody website and comedy site and adult site, it was probably the right time for us and we were the right place for it to show the world what we think is probably going to happen next to Rob Ford.”
While the video is a parody, Myers — who lives part-time in Toronto — wouldn’t rule out it could be a sign of things to come.
“I would not say that it is not possible that a celebrity sex tape is in the future of Rob Ford,” Myers said.
A day after the video was posted online, Myers said the reaction has been “absolutely insane.”
“I get e-mails from fans, from media, from angry people, from happy people,” he said. “There are a lot of people watching the video, there are a lot of people requesting the video and there are a lot of people commenting on the video. There is a lot of ‘Oh, gross’ and a lot of ‘This is so silly.’”
He said their original intention was to show viewers something they didn’t want to see and yet “they still want to see it.”
So far, Myers hasn’t heard from Ford about the video.
“I’m waiting for my key to the city,” he said. “I’m not holding my breath though.”
He wouldn’t rule out a possible porn parody sequel but admitted that’s partly up to Ford’s antics.
But Myers hoped Ford does see the video and changes his ways.
“Maybe he will wake up and realize that this video is a sign of hey, maybe I’ve gone too far as a public servant and public representative,” he said.
Ford porn parody sequel not out of the question | Toronto & GTA | News | Toronto Sun
By Don Peat ,City Hall Bureau Chief
First posted: Monday, November 25, 2013 08:56 PM EST | Updated: Monday, November 25, 2013 09:04 PM EST
TORONTO - Mayor Rob Ford’s ongoing crack cocaine scandal got even weirder Monday with a porn parody movie hitting the Internet and an Etobicoke bus tour organized by self-proclaimed evangelical Satan worshippers.
Ford has been under a cloud of controversy since he admitted to smoking crack while in a “drunken stupor,” but despite the admission he has refused to resign and denied he is a drug addict or an alcoholic.
“The Rob Ford Sex Tape — A Parody!” was released online by woodrocket.com on Monday.
In the strangest and most sex-filled turn of the Ford saga so far, the almost half-hour video mocks the mayor of Canada’s largest city with several none-too-subtle references to many of his gaffes including blurting out the word “p----” on live TV, smoking crack and walking into a camera. All those jokes come in the first three minutes ahead of more than 20 minutes of X-rated scenes.
The half-hour parody video written and directed by Canadian Lee Roy Myers features a portly actor with a Canadian accent who drinks himself into a drunken stupor, smokes some crack cocaine and then — spoiler alert — has sex with a prostitute.
Ford, the porn parody character, is played by two actors — Peter O’Tool plays the mayor while another actor plays the mayor’s private parts.
The video opens with O’Tool in a rumpled suit, sitting on a couch, watching TV and drinking.
“Holy crud, all Canadian Netflix has on is the Trailer Park Boys, what kind of example is that for the Canadian people?” he starts out.
Someone off camera asks him if he wants to smoke crack.
“No way, I’m not nearly inebriated enough,” he says, before finishing his drink.
“Alright, I’m ready.”
The porn parody of Ford dropped the same day the Clovenpath Ministries, an outreach ministry dedicated to worshipping Satan, started the “RoFo bus tour” through Etobicoke with stops at the scandal hot spots including the Windsor Rd. home frequented by the mayor and the Esso station where police surveillance chronicled his meetups with alleged drug dealer Sandro Lisi.
Pastor Morgan Wilkes — who identifies himself as an “evangelical prophet of Satan” — said they had five tours Monday for around 25 people.
“I understand this kind of harassment and such that RoFo is going through right now,” Wilkes told the Toronto Sun.
“I want to dispel right now any ideas that we are doing this to ridicule the mayor because that is not at all the case. We are doing this to honour him because the mayor and I, we share a lot of the same virtues, a lot of the same agenda ... we both have keen interest in lust, fantasy, desire, extreme wealth, influence, power.”
Wilkes hopes the tour can raise money for an outreach centre in Las Vegas.
He denied repeatedly that the tour was a joke.
“I’m an evangelical prophet of Satan,” Wilkes said.
Rob Ford scandal gets porn parody flick, bus tour | Toronto & GTA | News | Toronto Sun
Porn star wants to film with Mayor Rob Ford
By Don Peat ,City Hall Bureau Chief First posted: Tuesday, November 26, 2013 12:28 PM EST | Updated: Tuesday, November 26, 2013 06:07 PM EST
TORONTO - Call it the naughty side of Ford Nation.
Mayor Rob Ford has been offered a starring role in an X-rated movie.
TMZ revealed Tuesday that Vivid Entertainment star Brandy Aniston wants to co-star in an adult video with Ford — who has made worldwide headlines in the wake of his crack cocaine scandal.
The news came just a day after a porn parody video of Ford was posted online by woodrocket.com.
In an interview with Newstalk 1010’s Jim Richards on Tuesday afternoon, Aniston said she thinks Ford is “cute.”
“He’s like a big teddy bear. Who couldn’t think he is cute?” she told Jim Richards Showgram.
Aniston was asked if she would “really go through with this” in the unlikely event Ford agreed.
“I don’t think my bosses would give me much of a choice,” she said.
Asked how she thought Ford would perform, the porn star said she didn’t know.
“Maybe if he was having one of those nights … maybe he would be great,” she said.
Aniston has starred in several adult movies including Breaking Bad XXX.
Ford’s office didn’t respond to a media request about the offer.
Porn star Brandy Aniston wants to co-star in an adult video with Mayor Rob Ford. (Toronto Sun files)
Porn star wants to film with Mayor Rob Ford | Toronto & GTA | News | Toronto Sun
Draft script of Rob Ford porn Crackalicious 2
By Mike Strobel ,Toronto Sun First posted: Tuesday, November 26, 2013 06:21 PM EST | Updated: Tuesday, November 26, 2013 06:30 PM EST
TORONTO - I warned you for weeks. There’s a Rob Ford sex tape out there, somewhere.
I’ve been on my knees, praying I’m wrong.
But now porn star Brandy Aniston, of Vivid Entertainment, has dangled a starring role in our mayor’s face. Rob is “kinda cute, in a big, teddy bear kind of way,” she tells TMZ.
That’s just dandy, Brandy. It’ll be the next Deep Throat. As a public service, I’ve written a draft script.
Title: Crackalicious 2.
Scene 1: The living room of a bungalow on Windsor Dr. in Etobicoke. Brandy Aniston lounges on a puffy black leather couch. She wears nothing but an Argos jersey, #69, and nine-inch glass heels. A Bob Marley poster looms on the wall behind her. The doorbell rings. She bounces up and opens the door. (Sound of small airplane overhead.)
Brandy: “Well, hello there, big boy. You come to fix my plumbing?”
(It’s Rob Ford, in a pinstriped suit, NFL tie and a toolbelt jangling about his waist.)
Rob: “You betcha, little lady. You’re my 809th returned call of the day. Man, I’m tired.” (He mops his brow.) “Two hundred potholes, 75 sewage complaints, 101 tax screwups, 420 bylaw beefs, nine weed pickups and a *****cat stuck up a tree. You’re my third plumbing job. Phone never quits.” (More mopping of brow, pulls veal sandwich from jacket pocket.) “I sure picked a bad day to cut down on my eating.”
Brandy. “Poooor baby. What can I get you?”
Rob (brightening): “How ’bout some fried chicken?”
Brandy (winks seductively). “Leg or breast?”
Rob: “Whoa, forget it, little lady. I’ve got more than enough to eat at home.”
Brandy: “Whatever you say, sugar. But man cannot live on veal parmesan alone. Anything else I can do?” (She hikes up her jersey.)
Rob (licks his lips, suggestively): “Well, I need a new director of logistics and operations. There’s just so much to do. Damn that Gravy Train. So little time.” (Mops brow again, pulls vodka mickey from other pocket.) “I sure picked a bad day to cut down on my boozing.”
Brandy: “Pinch my bum.” (He obliges.) “There, feel better?”
Rob: “What? That’s a complete and total, 110% lie. I never TOUCHED you.”
Brandy: “Easy, Robbie. No one’s watching.” (Camera pans to police officer peeking in window.)
Rob (stammering.) “OK, I did it. Just once. Maybe. I don’t remember. Drunken stupor. Sorry, sorry, sorry.”
Brandy: “Don’t be sorry, stud, I’m not some party-pooper in sensible shoes. Do it again?” (He does.)
Rob (grinning sheepishly): “First fun I had all day. You shoulda seen budget committee. They’re all against me, especially that sneaky “The New Norm” Kelly. Mammoliti’s all I got left, other than 40% of voters.” (More mopping, pulls joint from pants pocket.) “Jeez. I sure picked a bad day to cut down on my weed.”
Brandy (purring admiringly): “Nice tools you got there, Mr. Mayor.” (She unbuckles his belt, and a couple of shirt buttons, curls a tanned leg around him.)
Rob: “Maybe you could fix it so you’re in a cellphone photo with some of those damn councillors. A couple of them are heavy-duty party animals, you know. Bloody hypocrites. Makes me crazy.” (Mops some more, pulls pipe from shirt pocket.) “I sure picked a bad day to cut down on my crack cocaine.”
Brandy: “I know just what you need, you 330 pounds of fun, you. C’mere.” (They undress. Camera zooms to her dropped jaw, the shock and awe in her eyes.)
Rob (grinning proudly): “Andy Donato was wrong, sugarplum. They took all my powers, but I still got <i>that.</i>”
Scene 2: The bedroom. Another window, another cop. Camera pans to … (assorted improvised physical activity, much too much for a family newspaper. Assorted moaning, groaning, ending with a cry of “subways, subways, SUBWAYS!”
Brandy (close-up, sighing contentedly, smoking cigarette): “Well, you got my vote.”
(Fade to black.)
Draft script of Rob Ford porn Crackalicious 2 | Toronto & GTA | News | Toronto Sun
Ford porn parody sequel not out of the question
By Don Peat ,City Hall Bureau Chief First posted: Tuesday, November 26, 2013 10:11 PM EST | Updated: Tuesday, November 26, 2013 11:22 PM EST
TORONTO - The man behind the Rob Ford porn parody says the embattled mayor was “ripe for parodying.”
Lee Roy Myers, the director and writer of “The Rob Ford Sex Tape — A Parody!” said they couldn’t resist the story of the mayor that has been under a cloud of controversy since he admitted to smoking crack while in a “drunken stupor.”
The parody was released Monday on woodrocket.com and features a portly actor playing the mayor, includes several Ford-related jokes and then jumps into around 20 minutes of X-rated action.
“His recent explosion of scandals has put him in the public eye worldwide and as a public figure he’s expected to be more conservative and represent his city and his province and his country better,” Myers told the Toronto Sun Tuesday. “This to me is probably a great time to look at the fact he’s living this … drug lifestyle and add the aspect of the sex to it ourselves.
“We know he’s been quoted using the p-word … we thought as a parody website and comedy site and adult site, it was probably the right time for us and we were the right place for it to show the world what we think is probably going to happen next to Rob Ford.”
While the video is a parody, Myers — who lives part-time in Toronto — wouldn’t rule out it could be a sign of things to come.
“I would not say that it is not possible that a celebrity sex tape is in the future of Rob Ford,” Myers said.
A day after the video was posted online, Myers said the reaction has been “absolutely insane.”
“I get e-mails from fans, from media, from angry people, from happy people,” he said. “There are a lot of people watching the video, there are a lot of people requesting the video and there are a lot of people commenting on the video. There is a lot of ‘Oh, gross’ and a lot of ‘This is so silly.’”
He said their original intention was to show viewers something they didn’t want to see and yet “they still want to see it.”
So far, Myers hasn’t heard from Ford about the video.
“I’m waiting for my key to the city,” he said. “I’m not holding my breath though.”
He wouldn’t rule out a possible porn parody sequel but admitted that’s partly up to Ford’s antics.
But Myers hoped Ford does see the video and changes his ways.
“Maybe he will wake up and realize that this video is a sign of hey, maybe I’ve gone too far as a public servant and public representative,” he said.
Ford porn parody sequel not out of the question | Toronto & GTA | News | Toronto Sun
It is kind of sad that they seem to think that the massive media interest in them is a positive thing. Do they understand why Dr. Phil and Oprah want to interview them, or why someone wants to produce a reality show about them?
It sure as hell isn't because of their fight against "gravy".
Oh oh, they're ignoring the gravy wreck again, lol.
Oops, I struck a gravy train engineer nerve.
