Things Men Wish Women Knew

[damngrumpy]

The only reason women want to know what men think is so they can use it as a weapon, lol
Why is it when my wife and I are in a state of dispute, she can remember some little thing I said or did going back ten or twenty years ago and I have a hell of a time remembering what happened last week. No the women don't want us to share what we're thinking because I think they already know what we're thinking

 

[Dexter Sinister]

Can't presume to speak for all men, but here are some things *I* wish women knew.

There is no true or useful information about what men want or what men think in Cosmopolitan magazine or any of its imitators. Never has been, never will be. You really think you need to know "16 Secret Sex Moves That'll Have Him Begging For More?" They're not secret, we're not that complicated (really, all you need to do is show up and be willing), and no man worth having a long-term relationship with will beg you for anything. If Cosmo's editors were honest, they'd run articles like, "Lose Those Unwanted Brains."

Mere words cannot express how much I despise that magazine.

Don't ever ask us if something makes you look fat. If something makes you look fat, it's because you're fat. Deal with it.

Don't hold up two outfits and ask us to pick one for you to wear, and when we do, ask what's wrong with the other one. Nothing's wrong with the other one, we just like the first one better. No further explanation is possible.

No sexual teasing. You put out an ad, the man tries to answer it, you reject him, you deserve a 2x4 upside the head. There are some things you must never do to a man whose respect and affection you value, and if that's not at the top of the list, it's certainly in the top 3.

Say what you mean, and mean what you say. We're not good with hints and innuendo. You want something? Ask. You don't like something? Say so.

You can tell us what you want us to do, when you want us to do it, or how you want us to do it. Pick one. Two is annoying, three is infuriating, and repeated often enough is a relationship killer.

We're not stupid, insensitive, thoughtless, selfish, chronically horny, aggressive, violent... Well, okay, some of us are. So are some of you. Avoid such people. Most of us are pretty decent, just know that we don't think the same way you do and that doesn't mean we're wrong or don't understand you or don't love you. We're just different. Celebrate that with us instead of trying to make us think like you do. That's a hopeless task.

Ah, maybe I'm being a little more serious than this thread really expected. I have been personally deeply wounded by what I now think of as the lunatic fringe of the women's movement--and don't anybody try to pretend there isn't one, any social movement spawns a certain amount of over the top lunacy--while trying to be supportive of its broader goals and objectives, and it hasn't been easy.

 

[El Barto]

I tend to believe that men are only thinking of two things consecutively: food and sex.

Therefore, most women are safe within a two-block radius of any restaurant.

Not with me , I don't mind a manage a trios.

 

[Niflmir]

Nothing like venting that pent up gender frustration.

The hard to get thing is terrible. I had one girlfriend do that to me, and naturally I just went on my merry way. I don't want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with me, or doesn't want to show me that they want to be with me. I assumed she just wasn't interested. Cosmo definitely has it wrong there. One of my friends (a girl) pointed out that Cosmo's strategy is simple: their readers want dating advice, if they had a successful relationship they wouldn't read Cosmo, therefore, ensure that the readers relationships fail.

 

[thomaska]

Secrets to bliss...

1. A man should have a woman who is a great cook.

2. A man should have a woman who is classy and is great for any kind of elegant occassion that pops up.

3. A man should have a woman who isn't afraid to act $lutty either, and is a firecracker in the sack.

4. A man should have a woman who loves to clean and is meticulous in every sense of the word.


Now listen up men...to achieve bliss, it is imperative that your wife or girlfriend never meet any of these other women!!!!

:lol::lol:

 

[Curiosity]

Wow What A Topic !!!

Don't stop - I'm making notes....

 

[Impetus]

1. The "courtesy mirror" behind the visor in your car is for a quick check of your look before you leave the car, not for the application of makeup during stop and go traffic. Men use them for checking out the babe in the other car without the wife catching them.

2. Tools get put away in the tool box or the work bench, not stashed in boxes of "other junk" you can't find a place for. Also, if the job's still in progress....don't move our tools.

3. Basic car maintenance. Don't wait until the red light on the dash lights up before you check the oil and if you don't know where the oil goes, ask a man.

4. Opening the bathroom door and letting a cold draft come in when we're in mid-shave ruins the shave, as does using my razor on your legs.

5. Always let a man take your car in for service unless you're really hot.

6. A man would prefer to be stuck in a room with tax auditors than be stuck in a small boat with three woman and no fishing rod.

 

[eh1eh]

This is the number one guys rule. It should clear some thing up.


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't w ant to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,orgolf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.

 

[gopher]

You forgot the absolute bestest: Chicks who show up naked with beer to watch the game.

Many women believe that men like female nudity and that the more exposed skin, the better.

Actually, it's the opposite: guys like a little mystery and to use their imagination. That's why Playboy magazine loses its readership beyond the 25 year old demographic. True, teenage boys and very young men who lack maturity like exposed skin. But older, more mature guys prefer a little more coverage.

Most women don't know it but it's true.

 

[Impetus]

You forgot the absolute bestest: Chicks who show up naked with beer to watch the game.

Many women believe that men like female nudity and that the more exposed skin, the better.

Actually, it's the opposite: guys like a little mystery and to use their imagination. That's why Playboy magazine loses its readership beyond the 25 year old demographic. True, teenage boys and very young men who lack maturity like exposed skin. But older, more mature guys prefer a little more coverage.

Most women don't know it but it's true.

S'truth!
A garment that covers, but promises a peek at the right angle, or looks as though it could fall off at any second is far sexier than stark nudity.

 

[Vereya]

. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the

</B>other one.

Really? I mean, really-really?? :lol:

 

[Curiosity]

Vereya

Yup really really.... is there anything new to you here? Hehehe

I'm making copies in case....if you don't have time....

 

[DurkaDurka]

Here is my contribution. MuHaHaHa :angryfire:


Guide On How To Keep A Girl For Gamers

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better."
This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness.
If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this
will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).

3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls
are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If
she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will
show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be
her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and
every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then
when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because
jewelry is for wussies and Asian ladies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When
she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words "**** you" and grab the other
girl's ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she
thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard.
When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you're
really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she
starts crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and
whisper very quietly into her ear "…because I can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those
special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold…and not by giving her your jacket,
because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say
"if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now, you're going to be
bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she'll have to go to the
bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the
party is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all
night.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet.
Kick the pet. Guys always find stuff like that funny…why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10
minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes
home and you can use your arms for more important things (like basketball).

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give
her self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep
down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings
or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This
way, she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order, interrupt
and say "no, she's not hungry." Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy
that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls
love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell on
it (but not a sexy cologne smell…a bad smell. You know what I'm talking
about).

21. When it's raining, keep asking her if she's crying. She'll say
"no, it's just the rain." Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at
her to stop crying. Girls like a tough man.

22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

23. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her
no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

24. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her that
material objects arent important. The only thing that's important is
that she keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present she
can ever get.

25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or just
whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know
she's coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the
present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one
that much, but guys think it's funny.

26. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will,
promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will
make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you're
going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Don't
call

 

[Kreskin]

All lies. The real lists would need to be in Wreck Beach, away from the kids.

 

[Impetus]

All lies. The real lists would need to be in Wreck Beach, away from the kids.

Well...perhaps a second list.

You wanna go first?

 

[Twila]

Most of us are pretty decent, just know that we don't think the same way you do and that doesn't mean we're wrong or don't understand you or don't love you. We're just different. Celebrate that with us instead of trying to make us think like you do. That's a hopeless task.

This should be a subject taught in school. If more of us knew and understood the differences there would be a lot less strife...

 

[Kreskin]

Well...perhaps a second list.

You wanna go first?

And break the code? Are you kiddin?

 

[Impetus]

This should be a subject taught in school. If more of us knew and understood the differences there would be a lot less strife...

Women are from Venus, Men are From Mars as a textbook?

 

[Twila]

Women are from Venus, Men are From Mars as a textbook?

Almost, I was thinking something written by Desmond Morris would be a good textbook.

 

[Impetus]

And break the code? Are you kiddin?

I think they broke that already!

(alright alright, I leaked it, OK?)