Stubborn Father

[Chiliagon]

yeah.

see when I got this loan from my parents, it was made on an agreement that I would pay back as much as I could afford each month, paying it off as fast as it could be.

so that meant $1000 a month. which I could afford.

there is currently about $9,000 left owing.. but I've been making $500 payments due to other financial needs that I have to take care off occasionally.

I sorta have to stick by my agreement and get it paid off fast.

 

[Ariadne]

yeah.

see when I got this loan from my parents, it was made on an agreement that I would pay back as much as I could afford each month, paying it off as fast as it could be.

so that meant $1000 a month. which I could afford.

there is currently about $9,000 left owing.. but I've been making $500 payments due to other financial needs that I have to take care off occasionally.

I sorta have to stick by my agreement and get it paid off fast.

With a job, you should be eligible for a bank loan such that you could repay the entire loan, negotiate monthly payments that permit independent living, and move forward with your life. If I had to guess, I would guess that you bought a new car ... which is cutting into your loan repayment. Driving an old beater until you can make a cash purchase on a new vehicle will save a load of money in the long run. It's a step down for most people to move away from the comforts of their parents home into their own place, but it doesn't take long to build up that comfort again.

In any case, it sounds like you feel that you are not in control of your life because you live with your parents, and that you live with your parents because they have a financial hold on you. After this debt is repaid, will there be other manoeuvrings to keep you sitting put, or will you then be able to distance yourself? For example, maybe there will be a health issue and your parents will make you believe that it's best for you to continue living with them until they're recovered. It's tough for parents to let their children go, and tough for adult children to start from scratch, but the closer to the age of 18 that this happens, the better for all parties.

 

[Praxius]

hehehe.. I have not had student loan payments in over a year.

this is not a student loan.. this is, you could call it a "pay your parents back" loan.

Ah yes, that crap..... Interesting how they hang you with a loan in such a way that it constricts you to living in their house because you can't afford to live on your own, where they can continually control what you do in your life.

If that was the case, then I'd just save my money up of a short period of time for a place of my own, then tell them you're moving out on your own and "This" is the amount you will be getting per month from me..... so long as you are paying them back something they can't say sh*t.... and if they're that damn petty to try and take you to court over it, all you have to do is show how much your living expenses are and how much you can feasibly afford while still being able to live a normal life and the courts will agree with your position and that'll be that.

Even in a divorce, if someone demands half of someone's income, if that half is beyond what the individual can feasibly afford while sustaining a normal way of life and not becoming destitute, they won't permit it.

I don't mean to pry, but wtf do you owe your parents that results in that much money that you can't even afford to move out?

Back-pay for all the expenses they incurred while raising you or something? :-?

 

[Chiliagon]

nope!

once that loan is paid off, I am free to do as I please. they have my younger brother to deal with.

I will move within 6 months of paying it off as I need to get a few things taken care of and then prepare for the change.

Ah yes, that crap..... Interesting how they hang you with a loan in such a way that it constricts you to living in their house because you can't afford to live on your own, where they can continually control what you do in your life.

If that was the case, then I'd just save my money up of a short period of time for a place of my own, then tell them you're moving out on your own and "This" is the amount you will be getting per month from me..... so long as you are paying them back something they can't say sh*t.... and if they're that damn petty to try and take you to court over it, all you have to do is show how much your living expenses are and how much you can feasibly afford while still being able to live a normal life and the courts will agree with your position and that'll be that.

Even in a divorce, if someone demands half of someone's income, if that half is beyond what the individual can feasibly afford while sustaining a normal way of life and not becoming destitute, they won't permit it.

I don't mean to pry, but wtf do you owe your parents that results in that much money that you can't even afford to move out?

Back-pay for all the expenses they incurred while raising you or something? :-?

well, back in January of 2008 I had $17,000 owing.. 2 credit cards adding up to 10,000 and student loans that added up the rest.

we did this so that I could be officially debt free (except car..) and then pay off the loan and then I could afford to find a place of my own.

 

[Praxius]

yeah.

see when I got this loan from my parents, it was made on an agreement that I would pay back as much as I could afford each month, paying it off as fast as it could be.

so that meant $1000 a month. which I could afford.

there is currently about $9,000 left owing.. but I've been making $500 payments due to other financial needs that I have to take care off occasionally.

I sorta have to stick by my agreement and get it paid off fast.

I had that same type of agreement, and because I was living on my own and trying to start my own life, they got back about $100-150 a month..... that was as fast as they were going to get it back and that was as much as I could afford and if they didn't like that, then they should have thought about that before giving me the loan and pressuring me to go to college and apply for additional loans such as provincial and federal at the age of 17 when I didn't know wtf I was doing.

It's due to my low income and other expenses here that's another reason why we're heading to Australia since there's very little work with very little pay for what I do here, while back where my wife is from, they're trying to pull in all kinds of people to fill in positions for what I do and there's an insane demand for my expertise.

Meanwhile my wife's been constantly going from one crappy job to another, being paid half of what she's been making for the last decade back home....... one has to ask the question wtf is our nation actually doing to keep its educated work force when they pay so little and make living so damn difficult for so many people?

But that's a different topic I suppose.

once that loan is paid off, I am free to do as I please. they have my younger brother to deal with.

I will move within 6 months of paying it off as I need to get a few things taken care of and then prepare for the change.

well, back in January of 2008 I had $17,000 owing.. 2 credit cards adding up to 10,000 and student loans that added up the rest.

we did this so that I could be officially debt free (except car..) and then pay off the loan and then I could afford to find a place of my own.

Ah..... well I suppose I can count myself lucky that I never once bought into a credit card. 2 Provincial Student Loans, 2 Federal Student Loans and 2 Bank Loans adding up to around the ballpark range of $80,000 due to three college course - two private colleges, 1 community - and all of them requiring additional time spent after class for projects and other assignments that left zero room for a side job...... thus that's where the bank loans came into play........

.... but no credit cards :lol:

Which sort of explains my bitterness towards college/university, considering everything I was taught can be found through the internet in online PDF's/Tutorials and free trial programs and the struggle I had to go through just to find a job in my field that never matched any of the promises they gave when you first entered their doors......... and starting off with less then half the pay they claimed you'd start off with.

Yeah.... to say the least, I felt pretty ripped off and screwed over after it all...... all the while those who loaned me the money to go to this rip off began demanding payments for their money...... perhaps I should have demanded them to provide me with a damn job so I could.

 

[Chiliagon]

I had that same type of agreement, and because I was living on my own and trying to start my own life, they got back about $100-150 a month..... that was as fast as they were going to get it back and that was as much as I could afford and if they didn't like that, then they should have thought about that before giving me the loan and pressuring me to go to college and apply for additional loans such as provincial and federal at the age of 17 when I didn't know wtf I was doing.

It's due to my low income and other expenses here that's another reason why we're heading to Australia since there's very little work with very little pay for what I do here, while back where my wife is from, they're trying to pull in all kinds of people to fill in positions for what I do and there's an insane demand for my expertise.

Meanwhile my wife's been constantly going from one crappy job to another, being paid half of what she's been making for the last decade back home....... one has to ask the question wtf is our nation actually doing to keep its educated work force when they pay so little and make living so damn difficult for so many people?

But that's a different topic I suppose.



Ah..... well I suppose I can count myself lucky that I never once bought into a credit card. 2 Provincial Student Loans, 2 Federal Student Loans and 2 Bank Loans adding up to around the ballpark range of $80,000 due to three college course - two private colleges, 1 community - and all of them requiring additional time spent after class for projects and other assignments that left zero room for a side job...... thus that's where the bank loans came into play........

.... but no credit cards :lol:

ya I wish I hadn't got them.. I only have 1 now, it's getting up there and I am trying to get the amt owing down.. but it's tough.